I just realized that I have hit 4,000 posts.
I
Judging from responses from some members, I am also an irritant to many of you. I've had the occasional "you've been on AFF for a while but you're not making any progress in your life, and you still haven't got the official DX, so why not just forget about it" thing, and that kinda bugs me.
So, have I outstayed my welcome? Is it time for me to leave AFF?
Batman, you are not an irritant in any way shape or form, no way. I am new here and I am sure that if you hadn't been one of the first posts I read I wouldn't have delved further into this forum. You are exceptional and uniceptional and I hope that you not go - ever.
I think I remember the post the other day- don't remember who it was but the person that posted it was SO new and I was amazed at the nerve. Anyone that thinks of all people you don't belong has there head - somewhere not smart. 
Batman, I know that I am on here too much - but I am a homemaker and have to stay close to home alot. You are younger and may need to schedule more time away and out and about for yourself. Your idea of maybe spending less (quantity) time, but more quality time - like only getting involved with X amount of posts per day - so that you could still keep up in your reading may be a good idea. (your idea, not mine) I may even try it myself. Don't go. Adjust yourself if it will make you happy.
Or even if one is living an apparently useful life, one doesn't escape self-esteem issues. I think that most people feel as if they're not measuring up in some domain or another. Maybe they're okay at work but bad at relationships or the other way around or they've failed at something they wanted and tried or... or... or...
I have been known to say that I can have a difficult time at home or at work, but not both at the same time. It could collapse me completely.
Oh dear.... What has gone on here.. I hadn't been on this thread since the first day - it's still going - and not going possibly where you had hoped Batman? I suggest you re-read the first couple of pages more than once - and only read the last couple once... It's an awful lot directed at one person. Take heart Batman, as has been said repeatedly you are well-liked, pretty well understoos and have gifts.
I suggest you do take the advice - if you can - for example this bit is the best advice ever: from daisy may who wrote: " I know you don't like advice and what you do is entirely up to you but I do hope that you can manage to break out of the spiral of negative thoughts and realise that the person who needs to value you is YOU. "
back to the confidence thread - if you don't feel it maybe fake it - good things happen...
Peace and love!
Ocampo - I will post even though others already have. Hopefully Batman will read what you wrote and it will resonate. I wanted you to know that I read what you wrote. every word. (tears in my eyes and now almost falling) Great epiphany, thanks for sharing.
Batman, do you ever read philosphy, like the stoic philosophers?
Quote" every man has his chain and his clog, only it is looser and lighter to one than to another,
and he is more at ease who takes it up and carries it than he who drags it" - Seneca
I spent most of my nights (as a teenager) up all night reading philosophers - I recommend Epictetus also....(warning he talks about GoOd quite a bit)
Batman - you don't have to change, you really don't- you are exactly who you are supposed to be and you are perfect just the way you are. Just know that if you want to, vary, or adjust your life or your lifestyle you can, if and when you want to. ;o) If you are not pleased and satisfied with a particular aspect of your life - change that part - you don't need to change yourself to change your circumstances, just decide waht it is you want and plan for it. You are a realist I think, it is not all attitude, you are correct in that. However, thinking that you cannot will most certainly lower your options.
I feel guilty for reading this because I feel "you're all expecting" great change from me, and a lot of these changes are changes I'm simply not willing to make, to be frank.
Can't I make some comparisons and some explanations for my behavior? Am I entitled to some explanation of behavior--some limitations I have where I can say "because I have X limitation, doing Y is not desirable and I should do Z instead". "Z" being what someone with severe executive functioning problems can realistically do. Why do you all say this is just an emotional/negativity problem, when I feel it's related to a cognitive difficulty or PDD, etc??
My uncle, for example, has the same thing I have (and so does my brother.) My uncle has lived at home all his life--his mother cooked for him, even as a grown man, and he never moved out--and if you tell him he should do something for his own benefit, it does not get done. He simply doesn't have the ability to execute. The simplest things for him take eons compared to other people.
And then I say this and YOU ALL say "I have that same exact problem!" If that is the case, then why does my PDD uncle have all these struggles, and yet you all have "risen above it"??
Don't call it an excuse. I can ONLY do one---small---thing---at---a---time. Please do not expect more from me because I can write pretty well on the Internet.
Batman...You're asking us for PITY. Because you are asking for advice...and then are admitting that no...you don't want to do anything about it.
When I was growing up...I had trouble doing a lot of things...still do have trouble with some...but my parents MADE ME TRY. If I kept doing it and still was not getting it...then they'd help...even now I have an assistant to help me and I tell her "Let me at least help". AS isn't my only disability...but yes I have learned to deal with some of it because re: my EDS I was forced to ignore a lot of my pain because it was percieved as "normal" by my family. So I HAD to make it because it's either that...or I'd go nuts.
You aren't even SURE you and your family members even have a PDD because none of you have had it confirmed...that's why we're urging you to see the doc so you can get the supports you need so you don't end up like your uncle. You don't want to be helpless do you????
And if you can only do one small thing at a time...then that's what you need to do. I can only do one chore a day...so my shrink told me to have ONE GOAL FOR THE DAY and focus on doing that. And at the end of the day when I get that goal done...I am proud of myself.
Ocampo: Your words are touching. Thanks for sharing them.
TRY. Hard.
I wanted to let you know, Batman, that I do not want to judge you by my standards, or my husband's. I may have been too short in my last response on this thread.
More than anything else, I think that everyone here would like to see you happier and more appreciative of the gifts you have.
ANd by the way, there is no "usual" time to leave home anymore these days. There is a 55 year old amn living with his 85 year old mom on the next street here, and another in his 40's and two houses away a woman also in her 40's living with her parents and another man 41. Out of those four - just wothin 500 feet from my house, only one of them has any disability. They are happy though, if you are blessed with a nice family and all that, that is what you are, blessed - They are blssed also to have you.
I have noticed that others in this thread have pointed out the word appreciation - that kind of attitude shift - to one of appreciation sure couldn't hurt anyone- (not saying that you Batman, don't already have appreciation for alot, your family etc., but appreciation for more -everyone could work more not to take things for granted.)
Have you looked into the philosophers? maybe it's not your interest, but I sure did learn alot from them.
Batman - you don't have to change, you really don't- you are exactly who you are supposed to be and you are perfect just the way you are. Just know that if you want to, vary, or adjust your life or your lifestyle you can, if and when you want to. ;o) If you are not pleased and satisfied with a particular aspect of your life - change that part - you don't need to change yourself to change your circumstances, just decide waht it is you want and plan for it. You are a realist I think, it is not all attitude, you are correct in that. However, thinking that you cannot will most certainly lower your options.
I'm simply upset that some members are turning against me, a bit. I don't like fingers being pointed and judgment being made, etc. I don't judge anyone's life circumstances on here, and yet it is now happening to me.
I'm sad that you are feeling turned on - I am sorry, I know in my heart that my intentions are not to be judging you at all. It is really courageous of you and you have managed really well on this thread - but just the fact that the thread is about you does open yourself up- unfortunately- to everything seeming to be pointed directly at you. Much of it, or maybe all of it, may have no bearing on you in real life, I (we) may all be so completely off the mark, but know this... no one would post if they didn't care, you illicited some emotional responses, caring responses. People are posting because they care. Maybe we are here posting because we think you wanted help or support and at this point 3 pages of threads is enough and maybe you wish there was only one page - it is almost expected this long in the thread that things would end up (seeming to you or actually) like a critique. I hope I am making sense as I really want to make you understand - to take in only the good, the good thoughts, the good wishes, maybe some good advice, and throw out the bad. I know my intentions were good. I like to think that everyone's are coming from good as well.
It's not my intention either.
That's why I think getting a diagnosis would be good for you...so you can get the therapy you need so that maybe someday you can get a part time job and attend community college and be the best Batman you can be
I am a terribly proficient procrastinator - wow that was hard to type - must go to sleep 1AM and all (went to a springsteen concert tonite - er, last night)
People were just frustrated that's all.
emotions running a bit high ---
you know I just checked my extra email account and found almost 900 emails - most from aff - I haven't opened then yet - I think they must be the "subscribed threads" that I was looking for.
I try very hard not to take sides or pass judgments about people especially because I don't know them in real life. I try not to care too much because that makes me feel worse...and I have enough stress to be honest.
But I must say this...in my experience a moderator should be NEUTRAL and should NOT be taking a side so to speak or talking about people openly on the forum. That is rude.
Ethel: *hugs* I'm not happy to hear you're pissed off...I can read that you really are...but try not to read into it too much okay?