Aspies For Freedom

I agree...I like you & your input very much...please stay.

OK.  Batman, I'm trying not to hurt your feelings.  If I do, I apologise.

There is no "subterranean network" of people who think you're stupid.  You're not.  What there IS is a group of people who are getting fed up with your constant posts about how crap you are, and being made to feel guilty if we do happen to be good at something you're not.  As someone with strong language and poor maths skills, it also grates that you rant so much about how not all Aspies are good at maths, yet completely ignore your own obvious language skills.

I don't honestly know what you want - if you say "I'm crap" and someone replies "no you're not", you snap at them that they're just saying that to be polite and they don't mean it.  But if someone were to reply "yeah, you ARE pretty crap" that wouldn't go down too well, either.

Honestly, what I reckon might do you good?  Get off the bloody internet.  Get out.  Go volunteer to walk dogs at the pound or sort out clothes for a thrift shop or anything that'll give you a chance to get out amongst people.  I know that sounds like hell, and I know just how crap people are, but seriously mate, you need to get out of living inside your own head.  It doesn't do a person any good.  It lets negative thoughts and paranoid thoughts fester.  And, cliched and preachy as it sounds, it might remind you that there are actually other people out there worse off.  Focus on others instead of yourself for a change.

For instance, when I had a break from AFF due to the endless interpersonal mind game shit that goes on here (I'm having another starting straight after I post this) you were the first person to PM me when I returned.  I was in a really, really low place that I'm still not out of, and the standard "hi, how are you" greeting would have meant so much.  But instead, you launched straight in with:

"You're back but you're not replying to my threads.  I must not have anything interesting to say."

No, actually, you have lots of interesting things to say, and I'm glad you're here and sharing them with people.  But it's not all about you, OK?

Batman, this is going to hurt.  I tried not to hurt you and you threw it back in my face just like you have every other time, so now I'm going to put on my bitch hat and tell you something straight.  

THIS is what you're ""entitled" to know:

You hurt me, you arsehole.  And to this day, you refuse to even acknowledge it.  I don't think you even notice.  How many times do I have to point out how much a simple "how are you?" would mean before you get out of your ivory tower of self pity and are man enough to actually write the words "Hi Ethel, how are you?"  

You can't do that - because it would mean that for ten seconds your world wasn't all about you you you you you.  

I don't care how about hypothetical low functioning children and jigsaw puzzles.  You're not LFA - in fact, you haven't been diagnosed with any damn thing at all.  So rather than making a million excuses for your behaviour on the basis of conditions you think you have, GO TO THE BLOODY DOCTOR and get some damn action happening.  

Or are you worried that if you DO go to a doctor, they'll tell you to man up and take some fucking responsibility for your life instead of wallowing in your imagined inadequacy?  Are you worried they'll refer you to a counsellor or give you some meds; and  then your illness, your crutch, your excuse, will be taken away?  That you'll be forced to actually DO WHAT YOU CAN rather than sit back and whinge about what you cannot?

If you don't care about other people, why the fuck should anyone care about you?  Not caring about others isn't an Aspie Thing.  It's a Arsehole Thing.

I did care about you, once.  And when I care, I care a lot.  Maybe I don't show it in a way you can understand, and maybe I didn't say what you wanted to hear - because I'm not psychic, and I can't play your endless emotional mind games.  But I tried to help.  I tried so hard.  I would have crossed oceans to help you.  And you hurt me.

And hell has no fury like a woman scorned.

yeah, this ^
Try.
Not for anyone else-but for you.. It's your life.

Well, if you're not remotely interested in considering any of the advice kind strangers have gone out of their way to offer... why bother asking for advice in the first place?  If you want to leave, leave.  If you want to stay, stay.  If you don't care what the rest of us say why waste time asking?

Oh, sorry, it's not advice you want, is it?  Because advice would imply you were remotely interested in helping yourself.  And if you're not willing to change, you're obviously not.

I'm not frustrated - I have been very very distressed, very very hurt, and now I'm very very fucking angry.

I had someone in obvious pain sending me reams and reams of PMs and emails asking - nay, demanding - my help, at one stage threatening to kill themselves because I couldn't help them.  Not wouldn't, because I tried my bloody best, but couldn't.  Because this snivelling little emotional vampire never actually told me what sort of fucking help I was supposed to provide - he just played endless emotional mind games.  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS ARSEHOLE PUT ME THROUGH????????

And he never apologised.  Never asked me if I was OK.  DO I SOUND LIKE I'M O-BLOODY-K?????????????

I resent being treated like a toy on a string for some spoiled whiny hypochondriac yank with a dozen "disorders" to excuse his poor behaviour... none of which he has actually been diagnosed with, because HE WON'T MAN UP AND SEE A DOCTOR.  

And it saddens me that there's still so many people here willing to coo around his pathetic attention-seeking childish nonsense.

Oh Bloody hell Ethel.  Wise up and don't think everyone else is your idiot buddy.  You had an ego trip trying to help batman and because you couldn't help him and could really relate now you're feeling bad.  If you'd have stopped for a second with the *helping* (oh I'm wise wise let's feed my ego today thing), and just talked to him then you wouldn't be in this position.  Batman is a more honest person than you, with a few more problems but you fail in matters he walks talls.

Been there, done it, got the strip, and I'm still friends with Batman now because he's basically a good guy and honest trying to do the best with the hand nature gave him.  Got a problem with that?  Walk.

http://www.strippingthegurus.com/stgsamp...soners.asp

That should have read 'couldn't really relate', now you're feeling bad..

Not really.  I like this group and all it's members should know where they are in it's dynamics.  No-one's perfect, a queen, king, or a pauper.  No one is stuck with thier mind set.  There is a link...

You know he's gonna read this Zakkie, and you know how you'd feel if you were him.  Let me ask you something... do you go onto aff and select those topics you've posted to?  Is that attention seeking behaviour?

General Rule:

If you attempt to help someone, you have to meet them where they are and leave your ego at the door.  If your help is rebuffed or just doesn't work, then it's not your problem and it's not something to take personally.  If you get sucked in and invest too much emotional energy into someone elses problems then you've made a mistake.  Acknowledge it, drop it, and move on.  Don't compound the mistake by involving others, throwing tantrums or playing the blame game.

There's a reason for the attention-seeking childish nonsense and it's not to do with my maturity level.

If you think otherwise, then fine, but I don't think that's why I do it.

Well I'll try to make this a "non-attention-seeking" post.

What I see is that some people on AFF genuinely do not like me--at least not anymore--and that these people would like me to leave.

Otherwise why would I have people calling me "pathetic", "childish," and other things.

So I'm not going to make this attention-seeking.  I would just like to know if my assertion is right.

I see your point, but I also like to socialize on AFF and that includes PMs, I like one-on-one discussion more than open-ended discussion sometimes, and now it looks as if you're alerting people not to PM with me.

I have people I PM with all the time, and I don't have trouble with them, so I'm not sure I want all these people to think I'm conversing with them just to satisfy a craving for attention.  This "open-airing" of things I've said in PM--much of the stuff I said was not malacious--could make people stop engaging with me in the first place.

I guess you would say to that, you made the bed, now you have to sleep in it?  I agree.

But I would ask people to stop saying nasty stuff about me, especially Ethel.  I've never called anyone pathetic and childish have I?  Why am I getting it thrown at me?

I'd just like the thread to die, to be honest.