05-04-2008, 07:29 AM
Interesting points here...although I'm not sure I fully understand the Palestinian analogy. GuessWho, I would like a hot, intelligent, together girlfriend/wife as much as anyone. Except, being an atheist, I'm not sure about the Christian/religious/moral/republican image, lol. (on a side note, "image" is often the key word with those people...I've known many women who appear to be innocent and mature, who are really suicidal alcoholics when you get to know them.
Srp07 hits the nail on the head when he says that an intimate relationship is not a right. Nobody can force anyone to date them; people have a right to reject someone, whether it's because they are overweight, boring, or in our case, aspies. I actually heard once that the real definition of a "creeper" is someone who tries to force someone else to like them/have sex with them when they do not. When a woman/girl says she is "creeped out" by a guy, it's usually related to this very behavior, in one way or another. Of course this is a very common mistake for NT guys as well, whether it's a guy in a bar who won't leave a woman alone or whether it's a well-meaning but innocent guy who buys a girl roses and calls her 100 times a day.
This topic has been on my mind a lot lately. I have made out with/gotten physical with my share of girls, but never had a long-term relationship. I spend a lot of time hanging out with my fraternity brothers' girlfriends and female friends, many of them attractive sorority girls. Although I am friends with a good number of them, and can often make them attracted to me at first, I know I could never hold a long-term relationship with this type of girl. You can't keep autism a secret forever, nor should you. But unfortunately, the type of girl I described (also the type I am naturally most attracted to) will very rarely date an aspie.
From the other posts I have read on here, I would say that our best chances for long-term relationships are with people we would not have to hide our Asperger's from. This does not necessarily mean we have to tell them right off the bat. A couple of years ago, I had a pseudo-girlfriend for a month. Although she wasn't super-attractive, she was still in a sorority, and well-liked and respected. She loved me, and although I never told her about my Asperger's, I didn't put on a front around her either.
And for the record, everyone has their problems...day-to-day life is not a utopia for "happily married people" or for
casanovas either.
Srp07 hits the nail on the head when he says that an intimate relationship is not a right. Nobody can force anyone to date them; people have a right to reject someone, whether it's because they are overweight, boring, or in our case, aspies. I actually heard once that the real definition of a "creeper" is someone who tries to force someone else to like them/have sex with them when they do not. When a woman/girl says she is "creeped out" by a guy, it's usually related to this very behavior, in one way or another. Of course this is a very common mistake for NT guys as well, whether it's a guy in a bar who won't leave a woman alone or whether it's a well-meaning but innocent guy who buys a girl roses and calls her 100 times a day.
This topic has been on my mind a lot lately. I have made out with/gotten physical with my share of girls, but never had a long-term relationship. I spend a lot of time hanging out with my fraternity brothers' girlfriends and female friends, many of them attractive sorority girls. Although I am friends with a good number of them, and can often make them attracted to me at first, I know I could never hold a long-term relationship with this type of girl. You can't keep autism a secret forever, nor should you. But unfortunately, the type of girl I described (also the type I am naturally most attracted to) will very rarely date an aspie.
From the other posts I have read on here, I would say that our best chances for long-term relationships are with people we would not have to hide our Asperger's from. This does not necessarily mean we have to tell them right off the bat. A couple of years ago, I had a pseudo-girlfriend for a month. Although she wasn't super-attractive, she was still in a sorority, and well-liked and respected. She loved me, and although I never told her about my Asperger's, I didn't put on a front around her either.
And for the record, everyone has their problems...day-to-day life is not a utopia for "happily married people" or for
casanovas either.