Aspies For Freedom

A useless post on a forum.

[RealityBites wrote] If you suffer from Asperger’s, accept your weaknesses and find your strengths.

I remember reading somewhere in the forums,If you suffer from asperger's then you're doing it wrong.

Yeah, that's the language used here, but guess I'll be patient about RealityBite's when it comes to knowing and respecting our lingo.

People who disagree aren't necessarily jealous.

There's a big difference between quality and quantity. If you can't be honest with your 'friends' about being an Aspie, then what's the point really in having a group of them. It is possible to be lonely even when you are surrounded by a group of people.

And in being yourself you are going to inevitably alienate some people or even most people. That's okay because a few good friendships are far more valuable than a group of superficial ones.

I had an active social life in college and it was exhausting. It's a lot nicer now that I have fewer friends and that things have slowed down. If someone else likes to go out constantly that's fine, but it's just not for me. And it's nice to avoid a lot of the ~drama~ that usually accompanies large groups of friends.

I find that people looking for popularity are looking for approval. Truth is, self-esteem comes from within. One person can never be all things to all people and that is what popularity requires.

Being well-liked is different from being popular, however well-liked people tend to be true to themselves.

Well some people need extra help and there is nothing wrong with needing extra help. What is wrong is being afraid to ask for help.

You may not need assistance in your life, but others do. Those that need more help aren't less than the ones that don't, it's just that their weaknesses are different or more profound than yours.

Asking for help and needing help does not make a person weak. Often times it is very hard for a person to admit that he or she needs assistance and even harder to ask for it.

Or maybe you can't have a romantic relationship because you're a phony. Putting on a false front isn't a great way to start off an intimate relationship.

It's one thing to incorporate self-help tips into your life. There's nothing wrong with that. However it's quite another kettle of fish altogether when you are trying to be someone else.  

Furthermore most NT adults struggle with romantic relationships. They aren't easy for anyone and being an Aspie doesn't mean that you are condemned to be single forever.

If you want true friendships and romantic relationships, then start being yourself and quit being a coward. No it's not easy, but it sure beats crying in your beer.

I was socialized as a child and I still will never be what is considered normal. So what!

I'm not going to resign myself to some depressing fate or throw a pity party for myself. I'm too busy living instead.

You are your own jailer. Not autism or anyone/anything else. It's your choice whether to make the most out of life or to be a professional victim.

No, I wasn't always confident or comfortable with myself. It took me a long time to find myself and to happy with the way that I am. However life isn't any easier for the NT people out there.

Well that poster, form your suppleis link.. thanks IvarT,  seemed to say because he was able to act differently, he was misdiagnosed after all.  Seems different then one who could pretend to be NT for short bursts when there isn't alot of stress.  I know my son does really well - most will not notice any difference - at least under the right circumstances, interacting etc., .  Which rung true for me from reality's posts and many other aspies.  When stress or failures occur, then his difficulties really bubble up and anxiety and distress, external behaviors too, can go up exponentially without support.   it's me atypical

Most women aren't into guys who are obviously trying to manipulate them into shallow sexual relationships, unless said women are also looking for shallow sexual relationships.

Most people, in general, don't want to be manipulated.

Some autistic people end up popular or cool, but not a lot.

I have a friend who is autistic, and her high school best friend was the sort of person who was popular by being nice to everyone.  And having that person as a best friend made her get into the cool crowd.

Autistic people can have a social life, though, even if it's not a normal one.

I don't feel patronized to or condescended to by the fact that I get government services the same as any other disabled person who needs them.

I had a taste of being what I thought was popular, and it did not stick with me as a good experience.  While popular people can be nice people, the people who hung around me were mostly not nice people.  The reason many of them hung around me at all was to have someone to make fun of who would keep coming back for more.  And even after not speaking to them for ages, some of them still won't leave me alone (mind you, we're adults now, and I knew these people for a short time during the age most people are in high school).

At the moment I have more friendships than I can keep track of (I can't track many at once), with people who have genuine relationships with me.  Not based on wanting to be cool, and not a popular crowd.  Just people who like each other for who we are.  And this is fine for me.  I don't miss the other way.  Most of my friends are autistic or have other disabilities, and we probably don't have a "normal" social life, but we have a perfectly satisfying one, more satisfying to me than my best attempts at a "normal" one.

"Only $20 for <full name of author and full name of book>"

Damn straight!

Whoever says that is full of fail themselves!