Aspies For Freedom

Please answer only if you feel strongly - either if you have experience as the recipient of this or as a prant who saw a difference - this is a gamble...  Should we have our 5th grader put in a "Self Contained Classroom" with differentiated instruction right now or do you think we should wait for next year - we have the option. (obviously things are not working right now) Though next year we might just skip the whole school buildinh idea - that is the third option.

We wanted to do it this way GOING into the new school 5th to 8th grade.  On paper and in person, he looked to them like he could/should be able to handle the chaos.  The problem is switching right now - how to trust the people who messed up all along the way over the past 7 months - if there is only one teacher (and his own - OH they are going to get him a new aide one that is actually trained ) I would worry that they would be able to hide when they mess up - the only reason we heard stuff was going wrong was from his regular teachers - not the people in cahrge of his IEP... anyway, The self-contained class would have 5 kids in it and he would still have art and wood shop and gym and Social studies in mainstream, the rest there.  what do you all think?  IEP meeting was today.

Why'd you put this in the genetic issues forum?  I think it belongs in education, or maybe support.

I have no idea how it ended up in genetics- it was by mistake.  This as only the 2nd thread I made.
I don't know how to move it or I would move it to parents or support.

Ivar T. we are in between a rock and a hard place - (like you and your friend with 2 different outcomes, so many variables...) wanting to make the best choice now - hoping our intuition will help to guide us.

Thet are messing him up in mainstream, we may take him out of school, now.  and never send him back there to middle school 5th, 6, 7,, 8th.  He's in 5th.  Or we can have him go self contained, (hybrid)now, and determine whether that can work for him, if it does a hybrid can be put in place for next year, if it doesn't then, FORGET the school.  Mainstream is not one of the otpions, they are incapable of it.  He WAS mainstream, his whole life - the differnce now is #1 public, #2, middle school-loud!, #3 social issues are trickier, #4 work is harder and taxing to a kid with poor multi tasking skills, #5 needs a break but can't stand breaks ib rountine and can't schedule breaks becasue mainstream does not allow for the work he would miss... Do you undersatnd now?

Batman, He doesn't deal with change well AT ALL.  This past month, becasue the way he was acting was TELLING us he needed a change we gave him 2 study halls (called them independent research/study - in the library, he studied pirates, Einstein, dinosaurs, black holes, whether there could be life on another planet ... and was MAD about it the whole time- (we did this measure to keep special services from messing with him and "intervening" cuz they were "worried" about his anxiety>a coupel of breaks was what he needed and we gave them the last 7 months, 7 IEP meetings to come up with something) We could say, hey, here is this bag of diamonds and let's go eat chocolate every day 3rd perios instead of his dreaded math class and he would NOT LIKE IT.  (He actually said PLEASE, give me another math class instead- becasue of how painful it was for him to have change- he doesn't know what is good for himself yet) Giving him options makes him feel ungrounded, he thinks he likes options, but he makes his choice and then worries about the other choice, he is hard on himself. Anyone relate? HE tells us what he wants and needs - generally - and we know the details have to be up to us - that is how we support him - (mostly without him realizing that we are supporting him :O) when he is older we are hoping he will want to take on more responsiblity for himself in that small respect.  Anyway, he wants to just NOT GO, to school, he is disappointed with how the school is run - he is 100% correct that special services at shcool has their heads up their a**es.  We have to steer the ship or he will be like Ivar T's friend with a grudge.  HE is startign to really AVOID engaging in any work, he'd "choose" to do nothing - not a choice.  Most important reason for changing schools, or programs is we do not want his personality to change at the hands of people who think of him as a case #, not an individual.  We also don't want to teach him to quit when things get tough, he has to know that it is his (and our) responsibilty to rule the path,w e can change any circumstances, but no one is going to do it for us.  We have to be proactive. He can be a trailblazer, anything he comes up with he can do.  There is still much to learn out there.

People supposedly move into our state because of the services - (if this is the best - wow, how sad).  We probably will try it - and if ti doesn't work out - we will do a homeschool hybrid... Interesting that you mention a shortened day...my husband is suggesting that maybe he do a shortened day or week too.  (I dare say, not this year though, cuz he will resist that kind of change).  The school previosuly kept saying he wsa too "high functioning" and "advanced" for this classroom - the worry is they may "know" that education is not a priority for that class, that means we will have to stay on them to make sure he is educated, not just coddled or babysat.  It's a fine line with him.  How to trust these people?

How old is your child?  I know how you are feeling.  Our son was basically barely holding it together at school and showing me his pain at home.  If we left him status quo, he'd end up diagnosed with 2 or 3 more syndromes I am sure.  THEN he WOULD qualify for the school we found 2 weeks ago - but all the kids their already had their "breakdowns"  and then exposing him to a bunch of kid with a grudge against the "system" might do more harm than good....

ooooh, thanks pikajedi and quick duck  - I am getting there on the whole picture thing... (1st try)

[How old is your child?  I know how you are feeling.  Our son was basically barely holding it together at school and showing me his pain at home.  If we left him status quo, he'd end up diagnosed with 2 or 3 more syndromes I am sure.  THEN he WOULD qualify for the school we found 2 weeks ago - but all the kids their already had their "breakdowns"  and then exposing him to a bunch of kid with a grudge against the "system" might do more harm than good....
[/quote]

Which I meantersay:  A grudge against the "System" in and of itself is NOT bad, the "System" is bad (Don't tread on me is one of his favorite sayings) and we are a family of swiiming against the tide sorts...  What I mean is him focusing ONLY on that the system is bad and not looking for a way around it, over it or through it - a learned wallowing from others having fared worse than him thus far - would be the bad part.( so we continue to shelter him - seriously opnions on this technique...)   Particalarly because he can lazer in on despair and he is one of the most compassionate people, it hurts him when others are hurting (inside).... he will take on their pain and trilas as his own.  

(Who knows maybe his destiny lies in helping others - he has such a very strong urge to defend others)

Oh Dear Rosetta, I feel for your son, it is so hard to be a child that is so caring on top of all the other difficulties.  You can/should/ Pm me - are you in the US? I think I am further along in things - maybe I could be of some help to you.  

What a bizarre thing, isn't it, when these "so called' professionals look at you like you don't know hat is best for your child and they make absurd statements like oh he can empathize.... in my opinion, and many others - autistics see alot MORE that is really going on then typical people, that is one of the reasons things are so exhausting for them.  They see too much,  I am in NJ, by the way.