04-23-2008, 11:05 AM
I know some people hate reading long posts, so I'll apologise in advance: sorry.
The following is my attempt at an introduction mixed with an "am-I-an-Aspie" and "now-what-do-I-do" set of questions. I tried following the layout of some similar posts on here, so it might sound a little familiar, if you've read all of them.
-----
A few years ago my college tutor had the class sit a "geek" test which suggested that I had some variant of Aspergers. Two years ago a friend - studying for her final year in psychology - also came to the conclusion that I could have AS (she had me fill in quite a number of questionnaires and tests; AQ, EQ and SQ among them).
I don't remember much about primary school at all, other than a vague recollection of being pulled out from under desks by teachers - apparently I preferred to do my work under there. There's also notes on my report cards that I cried a lot for no discernable reason.
In secondary school, I didn't have much in the way of friends since I didn't get along well most of the other kids. I spent breakfast and lunchbreaks on my own in an empty classroom. I was the odd one, in the corner, who rarely spoke; some students used to offer to pledge money to charity if I'd stand up in class and speak.
I don't really like social interaction mainly due to the fact that I get overwhelmed very quickly if there's a lot of people around. I can't drown out any surrounding noise and I can completely lose the ability to progress through a conversation - as though my brain gets so overloaded that it can't figure out which sentence is supposed to come out in response to even the most basic of questions. I just go completely blank. Just stand there with the last phrase the person uttered repeating itself in my head. It's not until I know someone that I can talk to them.
I have a somewhat photographic memory: I'm great at remembering whatever I see/read, either in text or in picture format. I can recall a particular paragraph - even down to its position on the page and the surrounding layout - in a book years after I've last read it.
I'm overly-sensitive to light and noise. I can hear things no-one else hears and high pitched noises can drive me around the bend - not to mention some of them can be physically painful. My brains seems to catalogue surrounding noise whether it's directed at me or not. If there's seven different conversations going on in the office, or in the street, or on the bus, they'll all filter into my head and some of the phrases, or entire sections of the conversation, will repeat in my mind unendingly until another piece comes along to take it's place.
When I hear music it automatically gets split up in my mind - I can see which instruments are playing and when. I can see the lyrics in front of me as though I was reading from a book. I see which parts of each word is drawn out, which are shortened, which sections go up/down a few notes. I seem to memorise the tone and pitch without conscious thought - of the instruments as well as the voices. The rhythm of the bass, the drums, the different guitars etc. I can tell impersonators from the real singers because I can hear the difference in the frequency of their voices. If I hear a song played/sung by someone else, I know immediately that they've missed a drumbeat or that the fiddle skipped over some notes or how the singer didn't quite get the turn of phrase right on the third verse.
This causes quite serious difficulties if I'm surrounded by chattering people in the office and someone turns on a radio. The noise of the conversations take over everything, the lyrics from the radio appear in my minds eye and I cannot follow what's being said to me. It's impossible. I've had managers repeat questions four or five times while I just sit there and stare at their lips in the hopes of figuring out what they're saying. I see their lips move, hear each individual word but they're completely swamped by everything else and nothing makes any sense. It's as if I can hear the words separately but not get them to form into any kind of understandable sentence.
I have had more than one particular obsession that's taken up the majority of my time over the years. I can move from one major obsession to another after years - decades even - of being completely and utterly focused. If you asked a younger me anything about Elvis Presley you'd have been inundated with information until you lost the will to live. I've forgotten most of it (or, at least, I'm not quite as sure of the details involved) now that my obsession has moved on. I tend to be somewhat obsessive regarding the positioning of things too; sorting and lining up books or ornaments, straightening pictures, or centring things.
I'm very into patterns and symmetry.
I've been told that I'm too much of a fussy eater; there's certain foods that I will cannot have on the same plate.
I don't really like to make eye contact and I have to remind myself, in the middle of conversations, to look up into the persons face every now and then. Having said that, I don't have any trouble making eye contact with either of my parents.
I fidget a lot. I try not to rock back-and-forth anymore as I was repeatedly told it made people around me seasick...but I still occasionally fall back into it if I'm alone.
I have to rehearse conversations prior to having them...especially when it comes to speaking on the telephone. Even resorting to writing down what I want to say prior to dialling the number. I use a lot of automated/stock phrases. I distinctly remember my father taking me aside and explaining to me that when someone says 'this', you have to say 'that'. Always. I now have quite a number of memorised 'this' and 'thats' and, as a result, I find myself asking questions automatically even when I don't have any interest in the answers.
Being touched without warning makes me very uncomfortable. There's only a few people in my life from whom I'll accept physical contact. I hate being in elevators or standing in queues as other people get too close to me and trying to constantly adjust to stay away from them can get really frustrating - especially when they seem to think my moving away gives them space to move closer! That said, I find that I can handle it in my weekly dance class as it's expected and doesn't last long (although the fact that you never dance with the same person for any more than three minutes was kinda stressful for me at first...but you're with people for such a short period of time that they don't get a chance to question you and there's no social niceties that have to be followed, other than the occasional "Hi").
In addition, I can get visibly agitated if my routine is suddenly changed or interrupted. I need to have things planned out and last-minute changes to them can really upset me. And it won't just mean that I get teary-eyed and anxious, it can also mean that I get somewhat aggressive (depending on my frustration level).
I just took the Aspie Quiz that's listed in this forum and it gave me:
Your Aspie Score: 140 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 52 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Assuming all of this (tutor, friend and Aspie Quiz testing) comes under the umbrella of "self diagnosis", what I'm supposed to do to get a professional one? Just turn up at my local doctor and request to see someone?
Is there a certain doctor out there (in the UK) who's knowledgeable about AS and capable of giving a decent diagnosis one way or the other - one in particular you'd recommend?
-----
Thanks,
-K-
The following is my attempt at an introduction mixed with an "am-I-an-Aspie" and "now-what-do-I-do" set of questions. I tried following the layout of some similar posts on here, so it might sound a little familiar, if you've read all of them.
-----
A few years ago my college tutor had the class sit a "geek" test which suggested that I had some variant of Aspergers. Two years ago a friend - studying for her final year in psychology - also came to the conclusion that I could have AS (she had me fill in quite a number of questionnaires and tests; AQ, EQ and SQ among them).
I don't remember much about primary school at all, other than a vague recollection of being pulled out from under desks by teachers - apparently I preferred to do my work under there. There's also notes on my report cards that I cried a lot for no discernable reason.
In secondary school, I didn't have much in the way of friends since I didn't get along well most of the other kids. I spent breakfast and lunchbreaks on my own in an empty classroom. I was the odd one, in the corner, who rarely spoke; some students used to offer to pledge money to charity if I'd stand up in class and speak.
I don't really like social interaction mainly due to the fact that I get overwhelmed very quickly if there's a lot of people around. I can't drown out any surrounding noise and I can completely lose the ability to progress through a conversation - as though my brain gets so overloaded that it can't figure out which sentence is supposed to come out in response to even the most basic of questions. I just go completely blank. Just stand there with the last phrase the person uttered repeating itself in my head. It's not until I know someone that I can talk to them.
I have a somewhat photographic memory: I'm great at remembering whatever I see/read, either in text or in picture format. I can recall a particular paragraph - even down to its position on the page and the surrounding layout - in a book years after I've last read it.
I'm overly-sensitive to light and noise. I can hear things no-one else hears and high pitched noises can drive me around the bend - not to mention some of them can be physically painful. My brains seems to catalogue surrounding noise whether it's directed at me or not. If there's seven different conversations going on in the office, or in the street, or on the bus, they'll all filter into my head and some of the phrases, or entire sections of the conversation, will repeat in my mind unendingly until another piece comes along to take it's place.
When I hear music it automatically gets split up in my mind - I can see which instruments are playing and when. I can see the lyrics in front of me as though I was reading from a book. I see which parts of each word is drawn out, which are shortened, which sections go up/down a few notes. I seem to memorise the tone and pitch without conscious thought - of the instruments as well as the voices. The rhythm of the bass, the drums, the different guitars etc. I can tell impersonators from the real singers because I can hear the difference in the frequency of their voices. If I hear a song played/sung by someone else, I know immediately that they've missed a drumbeat or that the fiddle skipped over some notes or how the singer didn't quite get the turn of phrase right on the third verse.
This causes quite serious difficulties if I'm surrounded by chattering people in the office and someone turns on a radio. The noise of the conversations take over everything, the lyrics from the radio appear in my minds eye and I cannot follow what's being said to me. It's impossible. I've had managers repeat questions four or five times while I just sit there and stare at their lips in the hopes of figuring out what they're saying. I see their lips move, hear each individual word but they're completely swamped by everything else and nothing makes any sense. It's as if I can hear the words separately but not get them to form into any kind of understandable sentence.
I have had more than one particular obsession that's taken up the majority of my time over the years. I can move from one major obsession to another after years - decades even - of being completely and utterly focused. If you asked a younger me anything about Elvis Presley you'd have been inundated with information until you lost the will to live. I've forgotten most of it (or, at least, I'm not quite as sure of the details involved) now that my obsession has moved on. I tend to be somewhat obsessive regarding the positioning of things too; sorting and lining up books or ornaments, straightening pictures, or centring things.
I'm very into patterns and symmetry.
I've been told that I'm too much of a fussy eater; there's certain foods that I will cannot have on the same plate.
I don't really like to make eye contact and I have to remind myself, in the middle of conversations, to look up into the persons face every now and then. Having said that, I don't have any trouble making eye contact with either of my parents.
I fidget a lot. I try not to rock back-and-forth anymore as I was repeatedly told it made people around me seasick...but I still occasionally fall back into it if I'm alone.
I have to rehearse conversations prior to having them...especially when it comes to speaking on the telephone. Even resorting to writing down what I want to say prior to dialling the number. I use a lot of automated/stock phrases. I distinctly remember my father taking me aside and explaining to me that when someone says 'this', you have to say 'that'. Always. I now have quite a number of memorised 'this' and 'thats' and, as a result, I find myself asking questions automatically even when I don't have any interest in the answers.
Being touched without warning makes me very uncomfortable. There's only a few people in my life from whom I'll accept physical contact. I hate being in elevators or standing in queues as other people get too close to me and trying to constantly adjust to stay away from them can get really frustrating - especially when they seem to think my moving away gives them space to move closer! That said, I find that I can handle it in my weekly dance class as it's expected and doesn't last long (although the fact that you never dance with the same person for any more than three minutes was kinda stressful for me at first...but you're with people for such a short period of time that they don't get a chance to question you and there's no social niceties that have to be followed, other than the occasional "Hi").
In addition, I can get visibly agitated if my routine is suddenly changed or interrupted. I need to have things planned out and last-minute changes to them can really upset me. And it won't just mean that I get teary-eyed and anxious, it can also mean that I get somewhat aggressive (depending on my frustration level).
I just took the Aspie Quiz that's listed in this forum and it gave me:
Your Aspie Score: 140 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 52 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Assuming all of this (tutor, friend and Aspie Quiz testing) comes under the umbrella of "self diagnosis", what I'm supposed to do to get a professional one? Just turn up at my local doctor and request to see someone?
Is there a certain doctor out there (in the UK) who's knowledgeable about AS and capable of giving a decent diagnosis one way or the other - one in particular you'd recommend?
-----
Thanks,
-K-
