Aspies For Freedom

As you lot remember, I posted this thread about my problems making friends.

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthre...?tid=12794

No I have to tell you something, I blown it out of proportion. The group I’m associated with aren’t shunning me. True they don’t invite me out and don’t talk to me as such as often as normal people, but they do let me join in when I have the chance. It’s me causing my own social problems as I don’t contribute to their socialising that much, such as conversations and outings. They do talk to me, so some concern and a few times I have been invited out  by them. And those manipulators aren’t who they are, these people aren’t stopping me hanging out with them. In fact there had been one girl who helped me with my social skills. And I’m guilty of portraying them like the villains.

And before you lot become cross with me, I like to point that I’m not a well person. I was bullied from most of my life at secondary school due to a few kids having issues of me with Aspergers, which left me mentally unwell. I’m sometimes suffer from paranoia and depression, and possible I have bipolar but haven’t been diagnosed. I was having a bad week and with all those problems such as depression, paranoia and Autism-related aspects swirling around in my head at the same time, I got angry and started that thread. If any of my friends reading this, I’m sorry for making you looking bad. I’m also sorry for getting all you members to believe my mad story.

I for one did not think that they were made out that bad at all.  I seemed to me that your "problem" was one of nuance.  You mightilty tried to defend your friends when other read into what you wrote - based on their negative experinces.  I know exactly what you mean.  My aspie son gets confused and mistakenly seem to blame others at times when others have NOt done him any worng.  Other times people do wrong.  Figuring out how to deal with both situations can be tricky.  No worries I think that your post here and there ,explains very well that you meant not to portray others as worthy of blame but to try to figure out your way clear.  ;O) all the best!

I got the impression, you liked your friends. You seemed to make it clear your friends were nice people and you didn't want to lose them. I think on this forum you need to make it so this can be a place you can come and talk freely. Maybe you need to change your user name and give less personal details so that you can be more anonymous to the outside world.

you are a good guy Joel. I like your honesty and openess.

How do you change your username?

I don't know how you change your username, but I can relate to seeing attack where there is none, and similar things. After being viciously bullied for years, it was only after I'd been out of that situation for awhile to realize that I had been quite jumpy at misinterpreting harmless teasing with malicious acts.

Now that I've been out of that situation for awhile, I tend not to do this much anymore, though when someone is talking nearby me and they say something insulting or laughing or with a snotty tone, but I don't know what exactly they've said or who they were talking about, my first instinct is to assume it's about me. I think it's similar to the kind of thing you're experiencing (I've also had some anxiety issues, and some on the verge of paranoia, which was mostly when I was in the worst year of my life and getting hardly any sleep - lack of sleep really exacerbates anxiety, too).

Joel, I think you can only change it once.  I think you can re-register with a different name. I made a different user name for my son.

maybe the moderators / admin can help if your friends know your name on this forum and you want to change it.
Good luck.

earthmonky - i am trying to avoid letthing that type of experiecne happen to my guy... do you think you are the better for it?(having been thru it) - or if you could have opted out for a few confusing years - do you think that would have been good... would you have EVER learned that sometimes you were just over reacting? This is a majorly serious question for me. Do live thru it and be the better for it -as taking the knocks that life throws - or would it be bad to shelter and protect him from it - like we had for the previous bunch of years......

Earthmonkey wrote:***************"After being viciously bullied for years, it was only after I'd been out of that situation for awhile to realize that I had been quite jumpy at misinterpreting harmless teasing with malicious acts.

Now that I've been out of that situation for awhile, I tend not to do this much anymore, though when someone is talking nearby me and they say something insulting or laughing or with a snotty tone, but I don't know what exactly they've said or who they were talking about, my first instinct is to assume it's about me. I think it's similar to the kind of thing you're experiencing (I've also had some anxiety issues, and some on the verge of paranoia, which was mostly when I was in the worst year of my life and getting hardly any sleep - lack of sleep really exacerbates anxiety, too). "***

if want a name change, just PM Gareth.