04-20-2008, 06:23 PM
So, I'm planning to write a novel; I've got a chunk of it down already. I'd like to get opinions on the plot (lack of plot or confusing premise with plot having sunk my previous attempts at longer stories.)
Welcome to Mars, year far future. Mars is partially terraformed (there is a narrow habitable stripe round the equator) deemed useless for actual settling but useful as a penal colony. Convicts are crash-landed on the surface, where they will have to eke out a living by sustenance farming using genetically modified crops. This has been going for sometime and primitive societies have formed.
These societies have a problem; people keep dropping murders and pirates and rapists on their planet, and they have no way of contacting the outside to file a complaint.
Enter the former first mate of a Smuggler's Ship, Edge, an albino whose eyes and skin cannot withstand the least bit of direct sunlight. Edge was born on the now-stagnant and largely abandoned planet Earth. He was an orphan, nearly feral, and ran around with a gang of those in similar circumstances. A group of visiting scoundrels observe him masterminding a raid against an incoming medical supplies shipment. The raid fails, and Edge's gang to the corners of the Earth, but the scoundrels decide Edge has potential and pick him up.
A few years later, Edge has successfully worked himself up to first mate of an infamous ship, and has his eye on first place. He attempts a coup d'état but fails and finds himself on the run from his former comrades. He turns himself in, ratting on his former crew under two conditions. One: he will be exiled to Mars, and two: the pirate leader (who is after Edge's blood at any cost) will be executed.
Edge is sent to Mars. He is accepted into a village after helping them overcome the forces of a nearby Kingdom (Queendom, technically) which wants to provide protection in exchange for tribute whether the village wants it or not. Leaving his former live behind, he becomes fond of his fellow villagers.
Unfortunately, the captain Edge betrayed proves virtually unkillable. He escapes before his execution and follows Edge to Mars with a pirate fleet behind him. Edge must somehow prevent his former friend and nemesis. from destroying his newfound friends and way of life.
There's more but I'd hate to give away the ending. What do you think?
Welcome to Mars, year far future. Mars is partially terraformed (there is a narrow habitable stripe round the equator) deemed useless for actual settling but useful as a penal colony. Convicts are crash-landed on the surface, where they will have to eke out a living by sustenance farming using genetically modified crops. This has been going for sometime and primitive societies have formed.
These societies have a problem; people keep dropping murders and pirates and rapists on their planet, and they have no way of contacting the outside to file a complaint.
Enter the former first mate of a Smuggler's Ship, Edge, an albino whose eyes and skin cannot withstand the least bit of direct sunlight. Edge was born on the now-stagnant and largely abandoned planet Earth. He was an orphan, nearly feral, and ran around with a gang of those in similar circumstances. A group of visiting scoundrels observe him masterminding a raid against an incoming medical supplies shipment. The raid fails, and Edge's gang to the corners of the Earth, but the scoundrels decide Edge has potential and pick him up.
A few years later, Edge has successfully worked himself up to first mate of an infamous ship, and has his eye on first place. He attempts a coup d'état but fails and finds himself on the run from his former comrades. He turns himself in, ratting on his former crew under two conditions. One: he will be exiled to Mars, and two: the pirate leader (who is after Edge's blood at any cost) will be executed.
Edge is sent to Mars. He is accepted into a village after helping them overcome the forces of a nearby Kingdom (Queendom, technically) which wants to provide protection in exchange for tribute whether the village wants it or not. Leaving his former live behind, he becomes fond of his fellow villagers.
Unfortunately, the captain Edge betrayed proves virtually unkillable. He escapes before his execution and follows Edge to Mars with a pirate fleet behind him. Edge must somehow prevent his former friend and nemesis. from destroying his newfound friends and way of life.
There's more but I'd hate to give away the ending. What do you think?