Aspies For Freedom

Question: My stepson is 12 years old and has Asperger's Syndrome. His mom and dad divorced when he was 9. His mother has legal custody and his dad visits on Sundays. His biological dad also has Asperger's but refuses to admit it.

My stepson is routinely bullied at school due to his lack of social skills, and he has no friends. He thrives at school in the structured setting and does very well academically, although he is starting to dislike school due to the teasing. He often comes home angry and directs his anger at his mother and me.

He is afraid of all strangers. He gets visibly upset when he has to sit next to a stranger. If he does not get what he wants he throws tantrums, cries, and stomps his feet. He prefers machines over people and watches washing machines, dryers, garbage trucks, and vacuum cleaners.

He is uncoordinated and does not enjoy physical activities. In restaurants he gets out of his seat to touch his mother's neck, kiss her neck and face, and stroke her hair. At night he asks her to lie next to him in bed so he can hug her.

His mom believes it's important for him to receive physical affection, but I'm wondering if this behavior is appropriate or healthy.

What advice do you have?

-- D.W.

Answer: Asperger's is a less severe form of the pervasive developmental disorders that are characterized by impairments in communication skills and social interactions.

Symptoms include some language difficulties, bizarre behavior, temper tantrums and poor physical coordination.

Harold Koplewicz, author of "It's Nobody's Fault," comments that medication is nearly always recommended in the treatment of these disorders. While it does not eliminate the core deficits, it can be effective in treating the symptoms that interfere with a child's ability to function and relate.

Seek professional help. Ask about medications and behavior training programs. Set clear rules for your stepson's behavior and goals to work on in his therapy program. Join a support group of parents whose children have Asperger's.

Stop her son's touching and kissing her in public. These demands suggest more aggression than affection. Lying down with him is not an appropriate show of her affection because it can be sexually arousing to him.

Meet with his school principal and insist that students be stopped from bullying him. Ask what consequences occur when students mistreat others. Offer to inform students and teachers about the problems a child with Asperger's has.
http://u.sbsun.com/Stories/0,1413,216~24...90,00.html

This person needs to get educated and stop giving bad advice!

If a child who may be somewhat anxious, wants to kiss its mother in public, so what, how is that aggresive? And a hug at bedtime, big deal. Medication because they can't cope with being bulllied??! Ugh.

Teach him some life skills! It's as if no one's tried before... And it's almost as if that answerer has their mind in the gutter, though the touching thing is not socially acceptable, and I don't want to think about the lying thing.

How about society actually DOES something about bullying and the morally repugnant brats who engage in it constantly for once? This is like blaming the victim of an assassin sniper for being "too easy of a target".

That's what the attitude was like when I was in school - "well if you didn't stand out, you wouldn't be bullied". :evil:

Yeah, the medication bit made me think what medication is he on?

Has anyone noticed that when the idea that autism or AS can be medicated away comes up, there is usually very scant information given about medicating? There is generally no explanation of exactly what moods or behaviours or cognitive deficits are supposedly abolished by drugs, no specific info about brand names drug names or doses, no explanation of how the drugs supposedly work their magic, no references to positive results of randomised controlled double blind trials of the drugs in the recommended applications, and most definitely no references to systematic evidence-based reviews of the efficacy of the drugs in those applications.

In restaurants he gets out of his seat to touch his mother's neck, kiss her neck and face, and stroke her hair. At night he asks her to lie next to him in bed so he can hug her.

Sheesh.  People reeeeaaally bug me.  What is wrong with displays of affection?!?!  Absolutely nothing.  And, sounds like the poor kid really needs some affection after being bullied in school.

:mad:

YEp- i can't avoid noticing this horror. The information about medication is scant because those who manufacture it and those who prescribe have no idea.
Of course this is because they have no way of testing on groups like us (people on spectrum) because it would be unethical.
I just assume there is no reliability or validity in information supplied by drug companies applied to myself. So i do my research and take responsibility.
But what about those who don't have as much voice as i do? Or who are assumed to not be able to make their own decisions?

It really upsets me that someone who has the power to make the decision to medicate has no legal obligation to take responsibility for the effects of their decision.
becca