Aspies For Freedom

Enjoy a diversion

DOG DIARY
                 8am-Dog food! My favorite thing!
                 9:30am-A car ride! My favorite thing!
                 9:40am-A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
                 10:30am-Got rubbed & petted! My favorite thing!
                 Noon-Lunch! My favorite thing!
                 1:30pm-Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
                 3pm-Chased a squirrel! My favorite thing!
                 5pm-Milk Bones! My favorite things!
                 7pm-Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
        ;        8pm-Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
                 11pm-Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
                
CAT DIARY
                 Day 983 of my captivity.
                 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
                They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates & I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
                The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I  often vomit on the carpet.
                Today I decapitated a mouse & dropped it's headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear in their hearts, since it clearly demonstrated what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I am...hmmm!
                Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet while he was walking. I must try again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
                I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies & snitches. The dog gets special privileges. He is regularly released & seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.  
                The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.....for now.

ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE

As the new "parent" of two cats, a purebred Siamese and a domestic short hair from the shelter, I believe that they are both trying to kill me.  

For all my efforts to make life easy for my cat mate she can't even fetch me coffea and every time I ask her something she just don't respond. Well, she's still quite young so it might be a phase.

The kitten is a sock thief.  He is managing to take ALL of my daughter' socks away.  He falls all over himself killing the socks and runs around with them in his mouth.

Dogs have owners, cats have staff .

Oh yeah. They sound like they feral bastards.

I always liked the saying "Dogs have masters, cats have staff."

My sister's cat, when he was young, saw the guinea pigs had gotten out of their cage. And he went over to mum and said "meow" as if to say "I'm too little for these things. Come help me chase them... pweeze."

Oh and another one:

Dog: "She feeds me, plays with me, gives me lots of attention. She must be a god!"

Cat: "She feeds me, plays with me, gives me lots of attention. I must be a god!"