Aspies For Freedom

Is hyperfocussing a common Aspie trait? You are the first I see mentioning it and I find this quite peculiar since I do it almost always whenever I have to do something I suck at or whenever I want to perform better than usual. And yeah, it sometimes takes a lot of preparation and can easily be messed up by disturbances.

Cool

Restore this soul from Purgatory!

RESURRECTION!*

Well, had discussion with parent, am now pretty sure the AS diagnosis is accurate, as was the person who diagnosed me (apparently not the same person as the AD-NOS.)  So the thread title should now read 'Stupid Diagnosis' but it's ok as it is because the Anxiety Disorder thing is stupid enough to count as two.


*This is the incantation for Resurrection from Tales of Symphonia.  Be glad, the original text was 'C-C-CARDOPULMONARY RESUSCITABUMP' because I thought it wasn't quite dead yet.

(**Edited to fix tags, no shame-dying necessary - Zakkie**)

Ack, what?  I failed to get the tags right?  I might die of shame.

Why didn't it stick the unfinished one at the end of the post, I'd like to know.  That would have corrected the error.

Well, I kind of recognized that a bunch of things I never considered unusual are aspie traits.  Like, I can communicate just fine about things and issues and such, but not so well about personal stuff.  Also, I really really don't care what other people think of me, which is kind of an empathy/theory of mind thing; I never think about what others are thinking.  I think I just don't notice that I don't catch social cues; I can't figure out what others are thinking but I mostly don't care much either, so it cancels out a bit.

Also I realized that 'well the people who I hang out with are weirder than I am' is a terrible argument.'  And even if they are poorer at communicating they mostly have much more social drive than me.  And sentence fragments and repetitive structure are extremely cool.

For example, that was really hard to write.  A short essay on the impact of the French Revolution would probably have been easier.  Much easier, actually, I could just dig up my last one.

You're right, I've come to realize I haven't a hope of self-assessing this.  I'm pretty sure of the diagnosis now, though.

Anxiety disorder is still a load of crap.

He might have (really badly) misread my body language, or misinterpreted my childhood 'dammit you changed something slightly I don't have to deal with this anymore' episodes as anxiety (which they weren't--they were reactions to unexplained and unanticipated changed.  If I was ready for the changed I'd do fine.)

What really bugs me about the diagnosis is that it's not only wrong, it's the exact opposite of the way I am.  I get anxious much less than most people do.  Only when approaching something new and alien and very important that I know I'm likely to have trouble with (like a job interview) do I get mild stomach butterflies.  The level of stress that makes many people freeze up on important exams makes me work better because it forces me to pay real attention to the questions and I'm less likely to misread them.

I'm new.  This website is pretty cool.  Someone mentioned they have a terrible sense of direction.  So do I.  But mine has a twist like a magnetic reversal or something.  I just go 180 degrees about face from the way it feels like I should go.  I think I'm aspie but not sure.  

Welcome parvati. look up (google) aspies quiz. That will give you an idea.

On the aspie quiz I scored 167/200 aspie and 38/200 normal.   All it
shows is that I'm far from normal.  Possibly somewhere on the spectrum, possibly not.

I feel that I'm toxic to most people and I know they are toxic to me.  Maybe I'm just an anti-social misfit living somewhere in the gray area.
Not normal.  Not on the spectrum.

But I think otherwise.  I don't put much faith in the opinions and diagnostic abilities of psychologists/counselors.  It would be nice if all humans were encouranged to maximize their potential without threat of "cure".

I'm ashamed to be human.  A woman may feel she is stuck in the body of a man.  A man may feel he is stuck in the body of a woman.  I feel like some alien creature stuck in the body of a human.  I think I would be much happier as a bird, cat, dolphin or elephant.  Maybe not an elephant because humans seem to delight in torturing them.  Actually humans seem to delight in torturing everything including and especially each other.

I feel that I made a wrong turn somewhere and I'm now stranded on this planet.  Lucky for me there are a ton of other people in the same position and maybe just maybe I can connect up with them and not make a mess of it.

Painful though it is, I'm making an effort to improve my social skills.  Although I'd rather be trying to communicate with dolphins or elephants.  My 2 cats are wonderful and they're teaching me how to talk to them.  They think I'm a little slow to follow their lead but they give me credit for trying.  Which is more than I can say of [most] people.


  

Batman55 -  thanks for your reply.  I just don't know yet what I am and what would be the benefit of determining a clinical diagnosis.  In layman's terms I'm definitely loner, misfit, anti-social but what I am clinically at this point is debatable.  Seems I hang out primarily in the gray area and pop through into the Aspie realm whenever I feel inspired.  Yeah I think a major Aspie attribute is inspiration.  Mostly I'm just bored with it all.  So when I make an excursion into the Aspie world I feel better.   But if I don't hang out there most of the time maybe I'm really just a normal who isn't satisfied being normal and I need to learn how to express myself better.

Social interaction is usually painful and unsuccessful.  As long as I don't need anything from people I can avoid them or if contact is necessary I can appear normal, no prob.  But when I need something from people I act in ways that are self defeating, make people want to get away from me ASAP.  [Normal] people and me are mutually toxic but it only causes problems when I need something from them.

I'd love to find out how I alienate [normal] people and whay I hate them [normals] so much.  It is because of this that I'm looking for non-normal, non-typical people that might be able to explain what's going on.  I desperately need help to function on this planet and I don't want to be medicated or "cured".