An aspie (male) tells me (NT) I am a good friend and that he values and appreciates my friendship. However, when I call him or email him, he doesn't answer or return messages. When he does he says he is "busy with projects". He is busy with projects all the time.
He says we will get together soon and then keeps saying how busy he is.
What is he trying to tell me? I'm confused.
It is almost like he wants a friendship when and only when he wants one.
I have a friend like that and I just keep pursuing the issue until he will have lunch or go to the movies or have a drink with me. I work around his schedule. And his locales. And if I ask too many times I will ask him if that is annoying and he, being honest, will tell me the truth.
An aspie (male) tells me (NT) I am a good friend and that he values and appreciates my friendship. However, when I call him or email him, he doesn't answer or return messages. When he does he says he is "busy with projects". He is busy with projects all the time.
He says we will get together soon and then keeps saying how busy he is.
What is he trying to tell me? I'm confused.
It is almost like he wants a friendship when and only when he wants one.
All of my friends are quite busy people and my girlfriend only likes to receive people when she feels in the mood for that, so I wouldn't bother too much about that. It may feel ackward, but that doesn't mean you're not important to him.
My suggestion : tell him openly how you feel and try to figure out whether you are or aren't important to him based on his reaction. If he really does regard you as a friend, he won't mind you asking him.
I'm a NT also so I can give my thoughts based on that. His "projects" may be him focusing on his special interests. I'm not sure if you are asking him to go out places, if so maybe ask if you can go to his place and hang out there. Maybe he just doesnt want to go out - out. Also, maybe you can offer to help with his projects - might be a way to connect with him. Not sure if that helps or not.