(for those of you that can't pick it up, this is a spoof thread).
Chances that your child will be a professional athlete, 1 in 1,000,000
Chances that your child will become an astronot, 1 in 1,000
Chances that your child will develop normalcy, 149 in 150.
If your child babbles and won't shut up by the age of two, and talks and won't shut up by the age of three, you need to take your child and have them tested to make sure they're not normal.
Nuerotypicalism is a big problem for families all over the country, as they struggle to bring up children that have to have tons of friends around them to feel happy. Imagine having to hear your child tell you they love you to know that it's TRUE!! Or having to deal with many facial expessions that don't make sense.
We here at Nuerotypicalism Speaks envision a future where normal is a word that only appears in the history books so that no family will have to deal with it.
Look at these staggering statistics
*more children are alive today that are normal than dead
*more children are diagnosed with normalcy than die of AIDS, leprosy, and the black plague combined EVERY YEAR.
*more children live with normalcy every year than die in car accidents
*and the numbers are getting worse
We here at Nuerotypicalism Speaks are conducting research into genetics. Hopefully, we will have a prenatal test to determine if a child will be born with normalcy within the next five years. Currently, we have picked out two genes to test for normalcy, so that no more people will have to raise normal children and find themselves tempted to drive them off a nearby bridge.
More signs to look for that your child might be normal
*your child feels self-conscious around you because you move in strange ways/ cannot make sense of stimming
*your child likes crowds, getting depressed whenever he's not surrounded by one
*your child has a lot of interests, but thinks your wierd because yours are so intense
*your child is painfully boring, being unable to imagine new ways of doing an activity
No child should ever have to suffer with normalcy. We here at Nuerotypicalism Speaks encourage you to help us find a cure and erraticate normalcy so that those that are normal will be seen as uncooperative freaks
*embarrassed* Er, um, we mean so that no child will ever have to live with normalcy and if need be they can all be aborted.
(ok, this is a spoof, but the organization is so serious and in some cases inconsiderate that they need to be spoofed sometimes)
Why are you laughing? Don't you realize normalcy needs to be eradicating so that no more children will have to suffer from it (j/k)?
I'm still recovering from the afternoon three years ago now when I made the mistake of letting a friend take my autistic child out for the afternoon and agreed to collect her normal son from school and keep him until she came home! I spent almost 2 hours with that child and every minute was torture - I oon't know how my friend copes, I really don't. It's just so sad.
Her son didn't even look out the window when I told him that a low-loader had come into the street with a big digger on it and a small digger on a hydraulic platform at the rear. Not only did he not look, but he didn't even wonder how they got the diggers on and off, what they were there for or how many wheels the lorry had and whwther they would be doubled up to carry the extra weight. In fact, he didn't even wonder how heavy it would be!
He was completely unable to entertain himself, showed no imagination, didn't have any imaginary friends and couldn't make up stories or sing his own songs. He was constantly bored and rejected everything I suggested for him to do. He kept repeating that he wanted to go to the shop.
When I eventually agreed we could go to the shop, we went the long way to see interesting things on the way. I was, frankly, dismayed by the fact that he didn't know the make and model of every car parked in the street. Well, he didn't even know which of our neighbours the cars belonged to. He walked past cars without stopping to examine their wheels and hubcaps and neglected to close garden gates on our way past.
He, tragically, had no desire to watch scaffolding being put up on a nearby house and couldn't have cared less about whether the roof was to be fixed or completely replaced, and whether they would be using slates or tiles and if so, what colour and what they would be made of. He entirely failed to notice that the window frames were rotten and point out that they could be fixed while the scaffolding was up anyway and was unconcerned about the fact that the workmen's van was scraped down one side and had only one hubcab, which was a different make from the van and loose at the top.
This child, at the severe end of normal, seems trapped deep within a shell. Interested only in going to the shop he couldn't engage with the world around him and was unable to appreciate the many obsessions he could have pursued.
It was the longest 2 hours of my life and I have never done it again. Once was enough - I just couldn't cope! I really do admire my friend for doing what she does, day in, day out. So sad.....and apparently there's no cure!
Exactly. It really isn't a laughing matter. I know Children who suffer Normalcy (remember, they aren't normal children. We put people first, don't we? They are children who can be saved. They are children who suffer from normalcy) and just looking at them, breaking their backs to copy their friends every move, terrified of being alone, and it breaks my heart. There are autistic children trapped in there somewhere, I just know it, and I only wish they could be allowed to come out of these soulless, NT shells for- for even a day.
I have a deep respect for the parents who have to put up with clingy children who bring home friends every hour of the day, don't know how to stim and will never feel the satistfaction from having an imaginary world! If my child came out NT, I just don't know how I'd cope! I have been told that it is an awful burden and that all your dreams are slashed cruelly in two.
It is my dream that one day we will be able to solve this disturbing puzzle, and that one day, these trapped babies will be able to look at their parents, yet miss their eyes, and ask them to take them to the zoo so they can develop their fascination with animals.
And they find so many exercises, like sports, so fascinating. *cries* why can't they just have fun sitting down, but I have to run all over after my kid?
Oh yes, the heartbreak of having a daughter who seems to need, helplessly, to hang around in a group playing with plastic corpses, dressing them up, pretending that they are having a meal; all the while keeping up a stream of inane chatter about people at school, pop stars, models, the latest fashions etc.
When you just know that somewhere inside is a real person who is desperate to read the encyclopœdia in a quiet room, rocking quietly.
But if you parent's out there only give a $100 we could all become millionares.
*embarassed, clears throat* Er, I mean we will be to cure autism within only 5 years.
I'm still recovering from the afternoon three years ago now when I made the mistake of letting a friend take my autistic child out for the afternoon and agreed to collect her normal son from school and keep him until she came home! I spent almost 2 hours with that child and every minute was torture - I oon't know how my friend copes, I really don't. It's just so sad.
Her son didn't even look out the window when I told him that a low-loader had come into the street with a big digger on it and a small digger on a hydraulic platform at the rear. Not only did he not look, but he didn't even wonder how they got the diggers on and off, what they were there for or how many wheels the lorry had and whwther they would be doubled up to carry the extra weight. In fact, he didn't even wonder how heavy it would be!
He was completely unable to entertain himself, showed no imagination, didn't have any imaginary friends and couldn't make up stories or sing his own songs. He was constantly bored and rejected everything I suggested for him to do. He kept repeating that he wanted to go to the shop.
When I eventually agreed we could go to the shop, we went the long way to see interesting things on the way. I was, frankly, dismayed by the fact that he didn't know the make and model of every car parked in the street. Well, he didn't even know which of our neighbours the cars belonged to. He walked past cars without stopping to examine their wheels and hubcaps and neglected to close garden gates on our way past.
He, tragically, had no desire to watch scaffolding being put up on a nearby house and couldn't have cared less about whether the roof was to be fixed or completely replaced, and whether they would be using slates or tiles and if so, what colour and what they would be made of. He entirely failed to notice that the window frames were rotten and point out that they could be fixed while the scaffolding was up anyway and was unconcerned about the fact that the workmen's van was scraped down one side and had only one hubcab, which was a different make from the van and loose at the top.
This child, at the severe end of normal, seems trapped deep within a shell. Interested only in going to the shop he couldn't engage with the world around him and was unable to appreciate the many obsessions he could have pursued.
It was the longest 2 hours of my life and I have never done it again. Once was enough - I just couldn't cope! I really do admire my friend for doing what she does, day in, day out. So sad.....and apparently there's no cure!
So sad *sobs*
My child doesn't even know how to take a special interest in anything no matter how hard I try. It's just so hard... *sobs harder*
That is why me must do all we can to CURE NORMALCY!! We cannot just accept it because all of these children need us to help them become better citizens. We must cure normalcy as soon as possible.
And it's not just the neurotypical children encased in a kind of ... shell. I notice that the NT adults around me nearly always fail to notice the camouflaged bugs on the bark of trees, the flower with slightly different coloured petals on a plant with otherwise uniformly coloured flowers, all the different kinds of clouds in the sky, and so the list goes on.
They seem so preoccupied with making money, going on up on their neighbours, losing weight and getting their kids into the best schools. They fail to notice how when you tile a picture on the computer desktop, the top left image has the darkest shading and the lower right image has the palest shading.
They look dumbly at the cranes and scaffolding when the new buildings are going up all around town. They don't even notice that the workmen have shirts in different shades of orange and yellow and certainly don't see the hairy caterpillars on the path, carelessly stepping on them instead of looking where they are going. They also miss finding lots of coins on the ground because they usually have their noses in the air.
They are so worried about being popular that they act so fakely even though we can pick this fakeness a mile away and as in the Shania Twain song "That Don't Impress Me Much".
s
But that's just the thing. No child could possibly be normal. There must be an autistic child deep down inside.
I'm feeling horrible shellshocked...
The other day I was coming home from the shops when I heard screaming coming from the house two doors along from me- there is a little boy with Neurotypicalism living there- and it just would not stop. I hung around outside, concerned, when finally the problems became all too clear when a young woman holding leaflets left the house. The woman was a hardcore goth, and was wearing all the clothes, the make up- basically the full monty. Now, any autistic child would have used logic to reason that she was just a person doing her Saturday job, and would have immediately tried to snatch one of the leaflets in order to read it, but this NT child was unable to do an of that. He has no logic, so he went by his knee-jerk reaction which was 'that girl looks scary' and, so I was later told, hid behind his mother. He wouldn't even come out to read the leaflet, which his Mother agreed to take just for him. He has no interest in reading or knowing what things mean. It's terribly sad.
It broke my heart just to hear about him, incapable of realising that the goth grl was just a person who wouldn't hurt him, screaming, determned to remain ignorant, trapped in this shell that won't allow him to develop properly. I fear this boy will never want to go to university, will never have the dedication to individual pursuits to get a good job, and will instead settle for a life of scamming people in order to make more money than he needs (Money-hunger is a trait of NTism). I have cried all afternoon for that poor boy and his family. It is truly terrible. We need a cure now.
Your child doesn't need to live in fear of his surroundings or other people anymore.
If only 25 parents in each state gave $50, we would have enough money to test and find a cure for Normalcy. No family should ever have to deal with normalcy causing their child to become money hungry and scam people. If this is cured in the womb, no family will ever have to.
Oh dear the above that i wrote sounds very blunt.
Batman55, we were having a laugh!
We are all different from each other, AS or NT!
It was supposed to be fun!
+5 lulz points.
WINNAR IS YOU.
Once... i saw... it was like a club or somthing. So they could get together...
I...I saw... five NTs together. They were comparing their outfits i think. I mean... if it's a themed dress day then comparing outfits is fun... but this. This was just weird. They seemed to have a look of malice in each other's eyes. But all the while'st complimenting others identical plastic necklaces.
And you know what made me absolutely sure they were NT. When it started raining they all screamed.
Scared of rain. Poor creatures.
I quite agree.
Do you know what I heard this morning that truly sickens me? I heard that there is a group of people who claim to suffer from Neurotypicalism who don't hink it should be cured, but accepted? This has to be fake. These people must be either just borderline NT or just pretending to suffer at all.
How wrong is this? Don't they know that so many people are seriously, seriously ill? Why should borderlines who can fit in with autistics be allowed to speak for the poor children who are Low-Functionings NTs? How can they say they shouldn't be cured? They can't communicate FFS! They're trapped, seriously ill!
It's things like this that make me sick. Deluded Groups of sufferers of invalids suggesting that the profoundly disabled shouldn't be helped.
