A week or two, we were told of changes in seating plans for our teams (a regular occurrence). I was talking to the boss and happened to blurt out that the actions of another woman in a cubicle close to mine were driving me to distraction.
He got a bit annoyed even when I said I'd been sat next to her just before I was diagnosed with autism 4 years ago and had troubles then with noise from her radio and her talking about a subject I found emotionally distressing within my hearing.
He said he "would see what he could do" but nothing has changed. I don't have respect for the woman because she continually talks in a snotty stuck up voice which is totally fake and she has really bad values eg. dirty dancing with a young male friend of mine at an office christmas party or trying to take her daughter's friend to a doctor for an abortion without informing the girl's parents (who no doubt could have sued if the girl got complications as result).
I hate the way she tallks to clients and her own kids when they ring her up at work. She sounds so fake but dripping with hostility and I wish I could shake her and tell her to drop the stupid fake snobby accent and just talk normally like she used to.
In the last position, I was told I had to ask her to stop but as the result of my speech limitations, I couldn't and so I got more and more stressed and angry until I had a breakdown.
I feel now that I can't just ask her to stop talking loudly on the phone because it is only a little bit loud and I can't ask her to drop the silly posh accent even though underneath it all she is more like a chav.
So, I'm dreading going to work tomorrow and have been feeling really depresed on the weekend. The boss said I should listen to music on my headphones, which I have been doing but then I have to turn it up really loudly to drown out her yammer and then when I did that before, some people said the music was too loud and I don't want to annoy other people and blast out my eardrums.
He said he can just block out annoyances but I said due to my asperger's I am unable to do that. I am really scared I am going to do something stupid like hide out under my desk or go into the ladies' loos and refuse to come out. My doctor is sympathetic and thinks I should be moved somewhere quieter but my boss is in ill health and it might be too much for him.
That sounds like a complete nightmare!
I know you feel sorry for your boss because of his health issues, but you getting sick as well won't help him either.
He is paid to be a boss, and part of that is to keep the staff contented so that they work to the best of their ability.
Asking to be moved away from this person is a perfectly reasonable request, I hope you manage to get that across to him, and that you are moved as far from her as possible. With any luck, that'll mean she's transferred to Perth!
Tigger, thanks kindly for replying. I had trouble when sitting next to her before. She isn't next to me exactly but is actually closer because all that separates us is a cubicle wall.
She tries to big note herself by putting on a fake snotty accent. She got higher duties but isn't all that smart really. I have to fix up her mistakes sometimes and I am at a lower level.
It is a nightmare and my boss is one of those people who hates confrontations. He has Crohn's disease and is often very sick. I am starting to get digestive complaints because of stress but it is nothing compared to having Crohn's disease.
He said he would talk to her and then me last week but I don't know what happened. It could be the case I will have to see my doctor again but as I am one of the best workers in my team, I don't want to let them down by having too much time off work.
I know what it’s like…I’ve have similar experiences.
(in fact I’m having an similar experience now…my wife is chopping carrots in the kitchen on a ceramic chopping board…very annoying--shut up! lol Oh, apparently she’s chopping parsnips…well, that’s ok then…that makes all the difference
).
The noise from that women at work must really grate on your nerves Pakrat. It’s easy to deal with a few seconds of distraction--but when it keeps happening--sooner or later you’ll become overwhelmed--it’ll be impossible to cope.
This is a serious work related health issue that needs sorting--otherwise you’re going to be driven mad or have a nervous breakdown.
You have my sympathy my friend.
(She clattering plates now...ahhh!!!! *sigh*
)
Thanks Quickduck, I know some people think it is a minor thing and I fully realise there are lots of people with far worse things to cope with, but if I were in a quieter place, I would be far more productive and that would be a plus for the team.
Yes, it's in their interest to take this problem seriously and get it sorted.
And it's such an easy thing to get sorted...all they have to do is move this annoying banshee away from you.
Otherwise you'll be pulling your hair out.
I really hope things get sorted my friend.
I am going to put on my 'granny hat' and dish out a few of words of advice!
Pakrat - stop fixing her mistakes; either throw them back for her to fix, or pass them to your boss.
QD - instead of getting irritated by the noise of vegetables being prepared, turn off the computer and chop them as quietly as you can, yourself!
Thanks there. She does look a bit like the banshee in Quickduck's picture. I only fix her mistakes when the work comes to me in a different part of the process. Some people wouldn't even notice the errors but I do.
Yes WFM is correct...
It's this women who's got the problem...not you Pakrat. She needs to modify her behavour or move desks. You shouldn't have to but up with her irritating maner.
She obviously doesn't care what she's putting you through.
I know some people think it is a minor thing
Pakrat-it isn't a minor thing for you if it is going to affect your health and your productivity at work..and I am sorry that you have to deal with this problem...
Your boss may not like confrontation-but he is the boss- He gets to have the problem by definition.
You could mention that you are sorry to have to bring it to his attention, again, as you are not a troublemaker-but that you are concerned about your health at work and perhaps there could be a happy solution to the problem..
I think you could mention to him again that you would be more productive if you had a quieter space-as in the past it hasn't really worked out being next to this woman.
Is there someone quieter you could be beside?
Are you able to 'trade' spaces with someone-or does the boss have to assign the cubicles, etc. ( not sure how it works)
GOOD LUCK!! Keep us posted 
Under the Disability Discrimination Act you have a right to reasonable adjustments - and being moved away from distracting noises is very reasonable.
I don't see why your place of work are not more accommodating really.
Earplugs might be worth a try. I wear earplugs a lot and usually wear one at work (so that one ear is free when I use the phone, but one is blocked so I still get some noise reduction)
Quies make some nice foam earplugs which are the most comfortable of all the ones I have ever used.
Thanks for all your kind advice. I think much of the response at work to my issue boils down to "well, nobody else has said there is a problem so there isn't really one". It is not that there is a complete lack of sympathy - it's just not considered a serious enough issue to disrupt the team about (as somebody else would have to be swapped into her workpoint).
It's also as if it's "my perception" that there is a problematic level of noise. This in fact was the excuse used when I was sitting next to the same lady four years ago. The manager back then was trying to make out I was having auditory hallucinations in order to "prove" I was mentally ill.
My current manager would never do anything like that but I think he'd like to take a "wait and see approach" until the team is settled in a bit better.
On the bright side, she doesn't come in on Wednesdays, so I will have some respite.
I'm also going on holidays in roughly 3 weeks time and will be away for about 5 weeks visiting friends in Melbourne mainly.
My boss did a late April fool's day trick by saying we were going to get a rather unpopular manager for about two months while he was doing higher duties. I thought it was a trick so didn't get too perturbed but some others took it seriously and formed a delegation to go talk with him. About 10 minutes later, he told us he was staying.
The only thing about the other manager is she is rather a stickler for people being quiet so I might have got something done about the noise.
I don't think it is unreasonable to have a low-noise workplace especially if the job involves concentration. Some people naturally have loud voices and might not be aware of how irritating it can be to others when they speak and laugh loudly but they could either be asked to be mindful of others in the team or they could be moved near the boss. If the boss doesn't like noise, they will be on the spot to ask them to tone it down and they will find out first hand how it is.
Regarding people saying it is your perception problems, it is well documented that people on the spectrum can have very sensitive senses and can notice noises / smells etc that others don't.
It is not a problem or fault with you, it is just part of your natural makeup and this should be accommodated not ignored. Also, regardless of whether or not people at your place of work think it is just your problem, autism spectrum conditions are covered under the DDA.
It would certainly be helpful to read the Australian legislation re: disabilities. I work with a lady who has something wrong with her sense of smell that makes perfumes smell like (in her words) roadkill that has been there about a week.
I find some kinds of perfume or powder smell somewhat objectionable eg. was out watching a play with my younger daughter and her dad a few nights ago and a man behind us was reeking of some kind of powder. It was probably talcum powder but it smelt like flea powder or cockroach dust and was not a nice smell at all.
Some womens' perfumes smell like stale BO mixed with perfume and I know perfumes do eventually go rancid.