Aspies For Freedom

I have a similar kind of intelligence to you Batman--it does count.
Our intelligence doesn’t have to lead to a practical or marketable skill to make it worthwhile. It permeates every aspect of our lives; it defines who we are.

I found the hardest part of obtaining a degree is getting there. Once you're on a course it's very hard to flunk out (although I came close a couple of times). Most of to work isn't too very difficult--or is as hard as you want to make it. The main problem I found was getting organised...getting started, getting work in on time etc.
Don't go thinking that all people who get a degree are hyper-intelligent; some are, but the vast majority are not. To my way of thinking you're at least as intelligent as anyone I went to college with.

Also Batman...consider our mutural AFF friends Tigger, Rossco and Ethereal. None of these people have a degree (at least to my knowledge) and they are at least as clever as you or I.

I went to school with very affluent kids where that was the dominant philosophy, although the area I actually lived in wasn't quite that extreme.  (I lived in a middle-class family in a neighborhood that mixed working-class and middle-class families, and eventually went to schools that were mostly very-upper-middle-class and rich kids, so I encountered this stuff in school more than at home.)

So I know what it's like to have only academic-type intelligence count with some people, which is why I became terrified when my ability to sustain academic-type tasks fell to pieces in puberty.  (I did go to college but don't have a degree.)  I literally didn't think I had a future, because I hadn't been presented with other choices.

On the other hand, I have a friend who grew up in a working-class neighborhood that was actively anti-intellectual and tried to squash her academic aspirations at every turn, calling that sort of thing worthless and making fun of it (and valuing different skills instead).

I think both of the attitudes -- that academic-type skills are the only ones that count, and the other attitude that they count for nothing and are just something to poke fun of at best -- those are both really messed-up attitudes for kids to have to deal with.  They're the sort of thing, where if they pop up in my head, I have little trouble dismissing them anymore, because I know they're just prejudices I learned.

I had a friend very similar to Batman in some ways. She forever used to put herself down but when friends told her she was smart, clever, kind, and so on, she just couldn't accept it. I'm even a bit that way myself. I can accept compliments graciously but deep down I don't always believe them.

So I can kind of understand where Batman is coming from. I don't think there is anything in the way of advice that is really going to work. But I agree with the idea of asking him what he truly desires in life. We're not exactly clear on that point right now.

Tell that to someone with PTSD.  Yes, it is "wonderful" when someone survives an horrific experience, but it's the survival that's wonderful, not the experience.  To twist that around and say the victim deserved what they went through as a "learning experience" is just a kick in the guts.

Or maybe your perception of a "negative experience" is a lot more tame than mine.

I'll just note that my childhood was far from pleasant, and I was expected to do what everyone else did.  This did not result in super-functionality on my part.  It just resulted in utter confusion when I would go to do something and it would just not happen.  Over and over.

[quote]PTSD. Very Freudian. [/quote}

And you're my psychologist now, are you?

I still don't get it.  But never mind.

The point I was making is that I don't agree that just chucking kids out into the big, bad world and letting them cope however they can, and calling the badness that happens "wonderful" is the best way to create healthy, functional, happy adults.  Sure, you'll get some people who survive on sheer bloodymindedness and bitterness, but I don't think it's the best way.

Batman, it occurred to me last night in a blinding flash of insight that much of your current difficulties can be attributed that score of 99 you got on an IQ test.

It has acted like a curse and a blight on your life and destroyed your confidence. It's important to remember these tests are indicative only and are not completely accurate. Also, different kinds of tests will show varying results.

I doubt you will be happy until you can do another test and get a higher result. But don't forget, these tests only show some kinds of intelligence and are somewhat biased towards maths abilities.

You are probably like me, better on the humanities and creative side of things, and there is nothing wrong with that. But again, I doubt you will believe anybody but an official type person telling you that you are very intelligent.

I also didn't appreciate telling a counsellor fairly private stuff and then getting a metaphorical kick in the guts. I felt very betrayed and angry but disengaged, ran away, etc. This was especially the case if they were initially nice and then said stuff like "you've got to change", "It's all your fault", "that was pretty stupid".

It was as if they were sucking me in only to spit me out. Thankfully, only a few were that bad, but it really knocks your faith in counselling. I also thought I didn't pay them to insult me. The idea was they were meant to help or at least listen and that was all.

I can't tell you what you want to hear.  Because I DON'T think you're any more defective than any other human being.  And having dealt with a few prime specimens of the great unwashed this week, I'm of the opinion the whole human race is pretty defective.

But you can be *** aggravating, will that do?

Batman, you get (rightfully) cross if someone else mouthed off stereotypes, so why are you doing exactly the same?

Stereotype 1: People with learning disabilities can never learn anything useful at all in any way.  Surely there's enough people around here for you to see that's bullshit?  Yet, you say over and over again in perfectly spelled, grammatically correct, beautifully constructed writing, that you can't learn.  You've convinced yourself of that sometime SINCE you learned to write, obviously.

Stereotype 2: People with learning disabilities are only fit for certain jobs.  This also buys into the twisted greed-is-good thinking that some jobs are somehow less worthy than others, as if a cleaner on 30 grand a year is somehow less important than an office worker on 50.  Bullshit.  If the cleaner's happy and paying her rent, who are we to pass judgement on her job?

I'm not picking a fight, truly I'm not.  I'm pointing out some logical flaws in your argument, in the hope that you'll see them.  But honestly mate, nobody online is going to be able to give a remotely accurate picture of you one way or the other, because we don't know you.  This is a conversation you've really got to have with a counsellor, doctor, or trusted family member if you have one.  Not a bunch of randoms on the 'net.

Batman, I've tried to help you and I can't.  You've got an answer, nonsensical as it may be, for everything anyone tries to tell you, so what do you actually want this thread to achieve?

I don't know what you want and am not going to try any more.  If you're looking for someone to give you permission to do something rash, it's not going to be me.