03-28-2008, 06:52 PM
03-28-2008, 08:26 PM
I just shot up the place
03-28-2008, 08:30 PM
I dont get on second life and this girl was naked
03-29-2008, 02:01 PM
WOW!! lol, I was wondering how you guys got on that banlist. I TP'ed there for the first time tonight 
Malachi is a WP member.....I may have words with him
The places doesnt sound very curebie to me, but I do get the feeling that theres a lot of intrusive "researcher" types hanging there *looks suspicious*.
Malachi is a WP member.....I may have words with him
The places doesnt sound very curebie to me, but I do get the feeling that theres a lot of intrusive "researcher" types hanging there *looks suspicious*.
03-29-2008, 03:15 PM
SakakiSan Wrote:
WOW!! lol, I was wondering how you guys got on that banlist. I TP'ed there for the first time tonight
Malachi is a WP member.....I may have words with him
The places doesnt sound very curebie to me, but I do get the feeling that theres a lot of intrusive "researcher" types hanging there *looks suspicious*.
Malachi is a WP member.....I may have words with him
The places doesnt sound very curebie to me, but I do get the feeling that theres a lot of intrusive "researcher" types hanging there *looks suspicious*.
I shot up the place
03-30-2008, 11:05 AM
What was that Nimrod guy from SLU doing there? (yeah I see him in the snapshot)
03-30-2008, 03:24 PM
I didn't realize anyone over the age of 14 ever went to Second Life.
04-03-2008, 10:33 PM
Hi Gareth and all.
I came across this thread while googling myself and I want to clarify a few things. I'm diagnosed with Asperger's and with NVLD. Dave has an Asperger's diagnosis. From what I have seen in this thread, you've shared only those parts of the conversations that supported your own view of the situation. I think you're taking a personal issue and treating it as if this is an autie vs curebie issue. It's not. If Naughty Auties was a curebie community I wouldn't be helping them. Rubi has recently, in fact, come to me about a person she suspected to be a curebie to get some clarification from me about what I thought the individual's agenda was. She was concerned because she understands now how much of an issue that can be for those of us on the spectrum. She and Dave became friends when they both joined SL and she is still learning about autism and the culture in the autistic community. I've been providing some links for her and she's shown a sincere interest in learning.
When I arrived at Naughty Auties, Rubi was under a lot of stress. She'd been working for 12 out of the previous 14 hours. She told me later when we spoke that she would have dealt with the griefer sooner but she was having a hard time dealing with you and was very overwhelmed with everything going on.
Could the situation have been dealt with better? Yes, absolutely, and mistakes do happen. None of us are perfect. I have been reading about conflict resolution lately and I think that, in addition to a number of other factors, both sides of this situation have been looking to place blame instead of acknowledging the systems of contribution that were at play, that everyone involved had some role to play in this situation escalating. I don't think this is about curebie vs autie at all. I think the real issue has more to do with different perceptions of a situation. I think it might be helpful for all involved parties to sit together with the intent to learn each other's stories of the situation. I don't think it would be productive unless everyone could agree at a minimum to approach the situation from a learning stance and work to maintain that stance throughout the interaction. I've not spoken to either Dave or Rubi about such an encounter and do not know how they would feel about it but I think it would be helpful.
I cannot speak for Naughty Auties. I can only offer my own perspective on the situation and tell you I've never seen anything curebie happening in NA. The statements that you heard while you were there were the first of that flavor I'd ever heard and did not come from any sort of official channel. In my experience it's a very laid back place where all people are welcome so long as they can behave appropriately. It does not discriminate between auties and NT's. It's not trying to push any political agenda be it curebie or anti-curebie. I'm personally glad that NT's family members on the spectrum feel so comfortable coming there because it gives me the opportunity to offer my own perspective as someone on the spectrum. I don't think those same people would feel as comfortable entering and socializing in an autie activism area. NA is a place where they can let their guard down a bit more and be more candid about what's going on for them.
I hope this helps offer some perspective on the situation for everyone on this forum. I only really post at WP but I thought it might be helpful to join here and respond in this thread.
-- Mal
I came across this thread while googling myself and I want to clarify a few things. I'm diagnosed with Asperger's and with NVLD. Dave has an Asperger's diagnosis. From what I have seen in this thread, you've shared only those parts of the conversations that supported your own view of the situation. I think you're taking a personal issue and treating it as if this is an autie vs curebie issue. It's not. If Naughty Auties was a curebie community I wouldn't be helping them. Rubi has recently, in fact, come to me about a person she suspected to be a curebie to get some clarification from me about what I thought the individual's agenda was. She was concerned because she understands now how much of an issue that can be for those of us on the spectrum. She and Dave became friends when they both joined SL and she is still learning about autism and the culture in the autistic community. I've been providing some links for her and she's shown a sincere interest in learning.
When I arrived at Naughty Auties, Rubi was under a lot of stress. She'd been working for 12 out of the previous 14 hours. She told me later when we spoke that she would have dealt with the griefer sooner but she was having a hard time dealing with you and was very overwhelmed with everything going on.
Could the situation have been dealt with better? Yes, absolutely, and mistakes do happen. None of us are perfect. I have been reading about conflict resolution lately and I think that, in addition to a number of other factors, both sides of this situation have been looking to place blame instead of acknowledging the systems of contribution that were at play, that everyone involved had some role to play in this situation escalating. I don't think this is about curebie vs autie at all. I think the real issue has more to do with different perceptions of a situation. I think it might be helpful for all involved parties to sit together with the intent to learn each other's stories of the situation. I don't think it would be productive unless everyone could agree at a minimum to approach the situation from a learning stance and work to maintain that stance throughout the interaction. I've not spoken to either Dave or Rubi about such an encounter and do not know how they would feel about it but I think it would be helpful.
I cannot speak for Naughty Auties. I can only offer my own perspective on the situation and tell you I've never seen anything curebie happening in NA. The statements that you heard while you were there were the first of that flavor I'd ever heard and did not come from any sort of official channel. In my experience it's a very laid back place where all people are welcome so long as they can behave appropriately. It does not discriminate between auties and NT's. It's not trying to push any political agenda be it curebie or anti-curebie. I'm personally glad that NT's family members on the spectrum feel so comfortable coming there because it gives me the opportunity to offer my own perspective as someone on the spectrum. I don't think those same people would feel as comfortable entering and socializing in an autie activism area. NA is a place where they can let their guard down a bit more and be more candid about what's going on for them.
I hope this helps offer some perspective on the situation for everyone on this forum. I only really post at WP but I thought it might be helpful to join here and respond in this thread.
-- Mal
04-03-2008, 11:01 PM
hmm...from what was said above, I think it would be safe to assume that that day, having just hit a mainstream news source, NA was a little...overwhelmed...with trolls, and as such, stressed.
04-04-2008, 02:09 PM
no, that isnt excusable.
04-04-2008, 03:49 PM
Yeah and I agree, Dave was out of line at that point. At the same time I don't think it helps the situation that it was made public on this forum. It was an interaction between two individuals that went poorly. I don't know what Dave heard about what happened with Gareth previously but I think it's likely that, just as the snippets you all saw and the comments on them placed blame on some of the people at NA, what Dave heard was likely placing blame on Gareth. That's why I think it's important to realize that this is about a system of contribution and not about placing blame. That doesn't excuse what Dave said to Gareth. It does mean that just as nobody at NA really could see from Gareth's perspective when everything was happening, nobody on this forum really knows what was going on for the people at NA. The most pragmatic way to find out what really happened is imo if the people who were most involved can let their guards down and engage in a learning conversation. I don't think that's something that should happen in a public forum. I think that's the type of thing that should happen privately in a neutral setting.
There is a story told to illustrate how much damage words can do when exchange publically. There was a person in a village who was saying some negative things about another person in the village to the other people there. The things that were said soon took on a life of their own as others in that community began to speak with each other about what they'd heard. Eventually the one who was saying those things went to the person they'd hurt looking to make amends for what happened. He asked, "Is there anything I can do to make up for the damage?"
The one who had been hurt said, "Take a feather pillow outside and tear it open, then gather all of the feathers." He went home to try that and then came back.
"I tried to do what you said but it was impossible. The wind carried the feathers everywhere. I couldn't retrieve all of them."
And then the response, "The same is true of your words. The damage is already done and there is no way you could take back everything that was said."
I think those of us on the spectrum are another type of community. What's happened is due to contributions of multiple people and I think the biggest thing that was missing was an attempt from either side to really understand the other. Understanding doesn't mean doing the NT thing of assuming what the other person was thinking or feeling. That only creates more problems. It does mean finding out from the source, from the other person, what was really going on for them. It does require letting go of the need to show that one's own view is correct. It does require being open to other perspectives. And it does yield much better results for everyone involved.
I think those of us on the spectrum should work hard to understand each other. It makes it easier for those groups that would wish to portray us negatively when we're fighting amongst each other. It takes up energy that could be spent spreading awareness about those groups or helping other people to know what autistics are really like and that our thoughts are not determined by any large and faceless organization. We're all individuals.
-- Mal
There is a story told to illustrate how much damage words can do when exchange publically. There was a person in a village who was saying some negative things about another person in the village to the other people there. The things that were said soon took on a life of their own as others in that community began to speak with each other about what they'd heard. Eventually the one who was saying those things went to the person they'd hurt looking to make amends for what happened. He asked, "Is there anything I can do to make up for the damage?"
The one who had been hurt said, "Take a feather pillow outside and tear it open, then gather all of the feathers." He went home to try that and then came back.
"I tried to do what you said but it was impossible. The wind carried the feathers everywhere. I couldn't retrieve all of them."
And then the response, "The same is true of your words. The damage is already done and there is no way you could take back everything that was said."
I think those of us on the spectrum are another type of community. What's happened is due to contributions of multiple people and I think the biggest thing that was missing was an attempt from either side to really understand the other. Understanding doesn't mean doing the NT thing of assuming what the other person was thinking or feeling. That only creates more problems. It does mean finding out from the source, from the other person, what was really going on for them. It does require letting go of the need to show that one's own view is correct. It does require being open to other perspectives. And it does yield much better results for everyone involved.
I think those of us on the spectrum should work hard to understand each other. It makes it easier for those groups that would wish to portray us negatively when we're fighting amongst each other. It takes up energy that could be spent spreading awareness about those groups or helping other people to know what autistics are really like and that our thoughts are not determined by any large and faceless organization. We're all individuals.
-- Mal
04-04-2008, 08:22 PM
hello to all i hope you're well,
i'd just like to say within Second Life i am Dave Sparrow owner of Naughty Auties, and i would just like to say an apology for the way i spoke to Gareth, however i am Autistic and have temper problems...... and after days and days of accusations from Gareth without him accepting anything i have to say in my deffence, days and days of Gareth confronting me telling me how "Naughty Auties isnt hear to help anyone" and then him insulting (which has been conveniantly left out of his quotes) my friends and staff... yes, i did lose my temper, but i am apologising for it now for you all to see
Naughty Auties is hear to help ANYONE affected by the Autistic Spectrum, this ISNOT just Autistic people, it is family members, friends, employers even teachers who know people who are on the Spectrum inculding Autistic people themselves, because Autism affects other people too not just the people who have it...... for some reason Gareth will not accept that it is not just for autistic people alone.... which is what started the griefing to my land from him from the first day Naughty Auties came about.
Naughty Auties even has members who suffer from the vary rare TDD, from terrets, and from straight deppression, as ihave said everyone is welcome here and again i apologise for losing my temper but you are lucky i am on medication or i may have said alot worse.
Apologies to all if anyone is affended by what i have said to Gareth.
Many Thanks for reading
Dave.
i'd just like to say within Second Life i am Dave Sparrow owner of Naughty Auties, and i would just like to say an apology for the way i spoke to Gareth, however i am Autistic and have temper problems...... and after days and days of accusations from Gareth without him accepting anything i have to say in my deffence, days and days of Gareth confronting me telling me how "Naughty Auties isnt hear to help anyone" and then him insulting (which has been conveniantly left out of his quotes) my friends and staff... yes, i did lose my temper, but i am apologising for it now for you all to see
Naughty Auties is hear to help ANYONE affected by the Autistic Spectrum, this ISNOT just Autistic people, it is family members, friends, employers even teachers who know people who are on the Spectrum inculding Autistic people themselves, because Autism affects other people too not just the people who have it...... for some reason Gareth will not accept that it is not just for autistic people alone.... which is what started the griefing to my land from him from the first day Naughty Auties came about.
Naughty Auties even has members who suffer from the vary rare TDD, from terrets, and from straight deppression, as ihave said everyone is welcome here and again i apologise for losing my temper but you are lucky i am on medication or i may have said alot worse.
Apologies to all if anyone is affended by what i have said to Gareth.
Many Thanks for reading
Dave.
Pages: 1 2