Aspies For Freedom

I'm sure a lot of people here used to get in trouble a lot for saying things which were insulting, without actually meaning to offend anyone.  This especially applied to me - I was a very tactless child as I would say whatever was on my mind without stopping to think whether another person would be offended.  Nowadays I cringe when I think back to some of the things I used to say, although some of them are funny in a way.

For example, when I was little, I often used to say that elderly people had "tatty faces" because of their wrinkles.  One day when I was about 7 years old, my Mum was talking to our next-door neighbour in the garden, and I kept asking her why our neighbour had a tatty face.  The same thing happened a few weeks later when my Mum and I went out with a family friend and his elderly mother.  The mother was very old, probably in her 80s or 90s, so she was very wrinkly.  She was sitting in the front passenger seat of the car.  I was sitting in the back of the car with my Mum, and I asked her out loud "Why has she got a tatty face?!"  My Mum was always really embarrassed whenever I asked questions like this.

When I was about 12, my older sister and my niece both caught a horrible skin condition called impetigo.  They'd just got back from the doctors and they were sitting in the lounge.  I was too scared to go in the lounge in case I caught it.  My Mum was asking my sister questions about the condition.  One of the things I asked was, "Does it mean your skin is rotting away?"  My sister was really angry and offended that I had said that, and she didn't speak to me for about a week!

This next story is actually very sad.  When I was little, we used to visit our grandparents' house each Wednesday after school.  My Grand-dad used to buy this magazine each week, and I used to like to look through it while I was there.  There often used to be an advert for an alcoholic drink (can't remember which one) which would consist of a double-page spread which was totally green, apart from some small text in the bottom right-hand corner of the page.  I used to be fascinated by these adverts and I called them "the green page".  Every week I would look out for them.  One afternoon during the school holidays I was at home with my sister (I was 7 and she was about 14) when suddenly we got a phonecall from our grandmother saying that our grand-dad had had a heart attack and died.  It was a big shock, as he was still relatively young.  At the end of the phonecall my sister came up the stairs crying and she told me what had happened.  I was really shocked and I didn't say much for a while, although I knew it meant I would never be able to see my grand-dad again and it made me very sad.  Then a few seconds later I said to my sister, "Does it mean I won't be able to get a green page this week?"  My sister was so angry and she started shouting and swearing at me, "Our grand-dad has just died, and all you care about is your ******* green page!!"  At the time, I didn't understand why she was so angry, although nowadays I do realise it was extremely inappropriate to ask such a question.  I started crying even more and I kept saying that I didn't mean to upset my sister, as I just thought I had asked a question and I was just saying what was on my mind and I didn't mean to offend anyone.  Now when I look back on this it makes me feel ashamed that I had said that.  After this had happened I didn't really care for "green pages" any more anyway.

My parents have loads of stories about the things I said to and about people when I was a child, but here's one I can remember.

When I was about 4 we were at some big family do at my grandparents house.  Everyone was sitting around talking and I was on my granny's knee.  She was a very buxom lady, but usually well covered up.  On that occasion she was wearing a low-cut dress and I could see part of her cleavage.  I remember being fascinated by it and I kept looking at it.  There came a lull in the conversation and that was when I pushed my finger into her cleavage and said loudly, "Granny, why have you got a hole in your chest!"  ;D  

btw, I don't think you should feel bad about your green pages question.  You were too young fully to comprehend death and how you should react and your sister was at an age when she was probably more affected and less understanding of that than an adult would be.

Back when I was a young child, if I saw a man with long hair, I would yell "Man have lady hair! Man have lady hair!" until my mom acknowledged the fact. And if I saw a woman with short hair, I would yell "Lady have man hair!".

I asked mum one day why a lady was so wide and I think the lady heard me.

When I was about 3, my younger brother and I were minded by a babysitter when mum was in hospital having my second brother. This woman was in the toilet and I needed to go but she was in there a long time and I said "bad smell" (it was too).
She said "you evil, nasty child!".

She died of bowel cancer a fcouple of years later so maybe it had already started then.