Aspies For Freedom

I'm not bashing. I do not intend to bash. I just want to rant.

Have you ever looked at other people socializing? Just looking at them hang out together, eating lunch together, do all that stuff. And you see yourself completely isolated at a table. Doesn't that make you mad?


If I were to measure how close I am to a meltdown on the 1-10 scale, I would start off with a 5  I'm a bit frustrated right now.

2.) When people are discussing some really nice suff that you know about, like the best music and movies.Or to discuss politics, you want to join in. You try and join into the conversation and it's like you're talkin to a wall!  No one is listening to you. This makes me even closer to having a meltdown. My score now increases to a 7  It may increase.

3.) Has anyone have a hard time expressing their feelings verbally. and when you suddenly stop and forgot what you wated to say. everyone stares at you.  It makes me feel ***. It's really difficult for me not to mention extremely frustrating.

Meltdown score: 9  

4.) Has anyone in cass asked a basic question like: What does this word mean? I say the answer right away. This person responds with "I didn't ask you" "Or I was talking t th teacher" Well, yeah! I want to help someone. I was trying to help and everytime you call out the answers, you always get a "Nobody asked you, just shut your mouth." response.

5.) Someone asks for help wth their homework. You offer assistance. And this peson says, "Okay, can anyone besides ^&$^$@$ help me with this assignment. I'm really mad now, also very hurt. I offer to help. I always feel the need to help someone, but it's not fair that someone can turn me down without at least letting me help.

Meltdown level: 10!!!!! I want to throw a desk across the room. I had fantasies of doing that, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I want to kill someone. When I'm really mad, I always yell at someone, if they frustrate me. If they ask a stupid question, I go out of my way to tease them, like they do to me. I call them unintelligent monkeys. Uneducated losers, I don't need to waste my time on you.

Okay, my meltdown is increasing now. When I'm typing this up, I look and find missing letters. It's annoying that I have to go back and check this post for grammar! I'm going to explode.

My life is now miserable because of Asperger's. I can't empathize wih people, read social cues. Does it appear to you that everyone around you has a blank expression even though inside they are really angry? What's wrong with me. I'm starting to hate being an Aspie. My life is ruined! The only friends I have are internet friends, which is bad. Everytime you look at an Article about Asperger's, the symptoms and all that. It makes you even more frustrated. It reminds you why you are tis way. What do NT's have that I don't? What makes them so great? What do I have that they don't?

Asperger's, why of all disorders is it Asperger's. Why not Alzheimer's, or Munchausen syndrome. Why does it have to be socially impared?

I'm so mad!

Blame the childish behavior, not Aspergers. You might learn to do things better, but that doesn't mean you're broken.

Yeah Lucario, don't let these daft buggers get you down. If they treat you like that it's their problem. I had this problem of people ignoring me, no matter how much I'm contributing to socialising. There is tghis kid in the group I hang out with who tries to push me out (probably because he wants more attention). My advice is to meet new friends who gives a damn. Try join a club or sout-of-school activity to meet new friends. Also try to be a happier person so people wouldn't be put off by you.

Lucario,

I'm sorry your having such a tough time Its there loss.
Do want to mention that not all NTs are like that - hopefully you'll run into some nicer ones soon.

Go ahead and rant-your life sounds a bit frustrating! Is there anything positive happening or somebody there who could help you in some way? Parents?

Yikes. I wouldn't want Alzheimers.. or Munchausen-interestingly I looked it up in wiki and read this:
"... conditions that are feigned by Munchausen sufferers:
Asperger syndrome"

odd little tidbit of info!

How do you cope with meltdowns? Why would only having internet friends be a bad thing for you? Perhaps you could take Joel's advice about finding a social activity to meet some new friends, if that's what you want?
Anyway, hopefully you can get to the point where you don't feel "less than".

I agree with this, and would also like to point out that assholes like the ones you talk about here will treat anyone who presents an easy target just exactly the way they treated you.  It doesn't have to be someone with AS.  It can be anyone.  I know NTs who have been treated this way or worse.  It's not your fault- it's theirs.
It's not all NTs, either.  I go to a small and very friendly school that has a lot of quirky NTs, aspies, cousins, and regular NTs, and they are all nice to each other and never do what you described above- to ANYONE.  It isn't an issue of neurotype- it's an issue of maturity.

Well said Luai_lashire!

Been there done that

I have those "AS Sucks days" Honestly don't worry about it. I prefer internet friends anyway, I mean, I learn so many diffrent cultures when I talk to my Chinese friends, French, Indosian and so forth.
But I understand

GRR!! How STUPID of them!! I HATE it when people do that!! Lucario, you should SOCK them!!

I get that even now and it really really peeves me when people won't let me talk about things I know lots about eg. music trivia. Finally after all these years, a few people are asking me work-related questions and I guess slow progress is at least encouraging.

When NTs are talking with those they know they may consider it rude if someone outside the group joins in. If no one responds to your comments it is probably best you leave the conversation.

This happens to me quite a lot and I am barely on the autistism spectrum. The NT are only staring at you because it seemed like you were going to speak. Looking at someone is a way to signal attention

Such people are assholes.

****. When you offered help and they rudely declined they signaled that they are a dumb SOB with no manners. You should not feel hurt when someone who does not deserve your help declines it.

High school will soon be over but it will seem like a long time.  It will get better if you go to college.  

"Have you ever looked at other people socializing? Just looking at them hang out together, eating lunch together, do all that stuff. And you see yourself completely isolated at a table. Doesn't that make you mad?"  
Yes.  But I know know that I can have fun by myself and it is ok to be by myself.  

"2.) When people are discussing some really nice suff that you know about, like the best music and movies.Or to discuss politics, you want to join in. You try and join into the conversation and it's like you're talkin to a wall!  No one is listening to you."

Usually I feel like I am watching a tennis match when a group of people are having a conversation.  I am watching them talk back and forth and I never know when I can talk.  If I talk, I am interrupting.  There is some secret NT facial expressions or something that tells me when it is their turn to talk which I have never figured out.  People who are accepting of autistics will often stop and ask me during the conversation what is my opinion to include me in the conversation.  

"3.) Has anyone have a hard time expressing their feelings verbally. and when you suddenly stop and forgot what you wanted to say. everyone stares at you.  It makes me feel ***. It's really difficult for me not to mention extremely frustrating."  

People often ask me why I echo their questions or why I take a longer time to answer than other people.  They are just not being tolerant of autistics and it could just be because they are ignorant.  Maybe you have some anxiety about talking to other people or people you don't know well.  I learned to ask people questions about what they think or feel about subjects.  It makes it easier to explain how I think about something to them when they tell me their experience.  -- like because I don't understand how someone feels when their dog died because I never had a dog.  

"4.) Has anyone in class asked a basic question like: What does this word mean? I say the answer right away. This person responds with "I didn't ask you" "Or I was talking the teacher" Well, yeah! I want to help someone. I was trying to help and everytime you call out the answers, you always get a "Nobody asked you, just shut your mouth." response."  

If people are being abusive to you in class, maybe you could talk to the teacher about it.  Most teachers like when people put up their hands to answer.  The teacher could also ask the class to answer someone's questions.  Some kids just think some students are showing off when they know the answers.  Others will want to be your friend because you can help them with their work.  It will happen in college -- people will want to be your friend if you are smart.  

"5.) Someone asks for help wth their homework. You offer assistance. And this person says, "Okay, can anyone besides ^&$^$@$ help me with this assignment. I'm really mad now, also very hurt. I offer to help. I always feel the need to help someone, but it's not fair that someone can turn me down without at least letting me help."

You can tell the teacher in private that you would be happy for them to set you up with someone to help.  Otherwise don't offer help. I used to always help people who asked me at college.   I remember one girl at college was always mean to me.  One day she asked me for help and I just laughed at her.  I told her that I wouldn't because she was always mean to me.  After that she never said anything bad to me again.  

"My life is now miserable because of Asperger's. I can't empathize with people, read social cues. Does it appear to you that everyone around you has a blank expression even though inside they are really angry? What's wrong with me. I'm starting to hate being an Aspie. My life is ruined! The only friends I have are internet friends, which is bad. Everytime you look at an Article about Asperger's, the symptoms and all that. It makes you even more frustrated. It reminds you why you are tis way. What do NT's have that I don't? What makes them so great? What do I have that they don't? "

I don't feel my life is really miserable.  I have always been aspie and always will be.  I just try to think about doing activities that I like and try to do them.  People are not better than us because they are NT nor are we better than them.  

I don't have many friends and when I tried to act "normal" and get more friends, usually they were people who abused me.  There is nothing wrong with having internet friends.  They are often better at listening and helping that other friends who are too busy.  I will be your friend if you send me private messages because I don't have anyone from this forum doing that right now.  

"Asperger's, why of all disorders is it Asperger's. Why not Alzheimer's, or Munchausen syndrome. Why does it have to be socially impared?"  

I didn't choose to be born or be aspie or have brown hair etc.  Everyone has good and bad things about themselves.  I try to concentrate on the good things about myself.  I have met some really ugly and stupid people and they seem happy, so I think then why shouldn't I be happy.  You can make yourself happy as much as you can make yourself unhappy.  You can learn this.

The majority of people are not actually human.  They're just feces-throwing primate beasts.  Do not be surprised when they act like the lower animals they actually are.

I'm facing similar problems at 6th form. Most of my friends and associates hardly invite me out with them and tend to isolate me from the conversations and social gatherings. I'm afriad Lucario that is the immature behaviour you face at High School. I suggest after your left school you should find some new friends who would treat you like an equal amongst them, as that's the beauty of freedom of being an adult.

Yeah, I agree. Some people can be very rude and thoughtless and I'm not talking about us.