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http://www.thestar.com/article/309347

Smiling girl loved music: The Tracy we never knew

Mar 08, 2008 04:30 AM
Helen Henderson

Tracy Latimer is remembered by her schoolteachers as a girl who loved music. They also remember her smile.

These are not characteristics the public has heard much about in the 15 years since her father placed her in the cab of his truck and piped in carbon monoxide.

Throughout his trials and retrials, convictions and appeals, Robert Latimer and his defence team have painted his daughter as a picture of misery and pain. The public image of Tracy is based on their words.

Now the Saskatchewan farmer, convicted of second-degree murder, is on day parole in the nation's capital, intent on lobbying for vindication.

Latimer argues he had no choice in putting Tracy out of her misery. He will continue to present his daughter's disabilities in ways that give credence to his beliefs. But there are other ways to look at what happened. Consider:

    * In appealing his initial conviction, Latimer argued he "had the legal right to decide to commit suicide for his daughter, by virtue of her complete absence of physical and intellectual abilities."

      That may be how he saw Tracy but it wasn't a view shared by the school day program she attended.

    * Those who argue Latimer should have been given a constitutional exemption from the mandatory sentence emphasize that his case was unique. Thus, they contend, leniency would not set a dangerous precedent for people with disabilities.

      Tracy was undoubtedly her own person but her family's situation was by no means unique.

      Some 30,000 Canadians have cerebral palsy, many of them facing the same formidable disabilities as Tracy.

      There is no indication Tracy wanted to die. Thousands of children wish to live in spite of the pain others view as unbearable. Like Tracy, they cannot walk, communicate verbally, feed or care for themselves. They live in big cities, small towns and remote rural settings. They deal with seizures, muscles that defy control and multiple surgeries. Their families struggle to cope in a society that offers far too little support.

      Should we water down the Criminal Code or strengthen health and social services? What type of society are we?

    * In reading transcripts of the Latimer trials, it's clear there was a profound misunderstanding of cerebral palsy.

      Tracy did not have a terminal disease. Cerebral palsy is not progressive. It is a condition resulting from an injury to the brain, most commonly in the womb or at birth. The injury, sometimes caused by oxygen deprivation, affects muscle strength and control. Tight muscles can cause hip and spine problems.

      Yet Justice Ted Noble, who wanted to grant Latimer a constitutional exemption, is among those who consistently referred to it as a "disease" or "illness."

    * Latimer argues that only death could end his daughter's pain. Tracy couldn't be given adequate painkillers because they would cause an adverse reaction in combination with medication to help control her seizures, he says.

      But critics say other people who take anti-convulsing medication do find compatible pain relief.

I have no doubt Robert Latimer loved his daughter. I have no doubt that, like the parents of any severely disabled child, he sometimes felt very alone.

I also have no doubt that Tracy Latimer is a victim twice over – once of murder and once of the injustice served by a society that can't see beyond the surface of disabilities and won't invest the resources that families need to nourish children who don't communicate or move or process information like the majority.
Poor kid. I have never understood why society finds murder by family member less abhorrent than murder by stranger; surely, as the parents have considerable power over their children, their obligations should be greater, and any crime they commit against them should be treated more harshly, not more leniently.

And, as a society we should be helping people adequately as a matter of course instead of making them go through all sorts of red tape to access minimal support.

M Wrote:
I also have no doubt that Tracy Latimer is a victim twice over – once of murder and once of the injustice served by a society that can't see beyond the surface of disabilities and won't invest the resources that families need to nourish children who don't communicate or move or process information like the majority.


My thoughts exactly.

One thing that really miffed me off was the fact that Robert Latimer received a mere second-degree murder charge. This was clearly an intentional murder, regardless of why he committed the act! The way the murder was perpetrated was obviously purposeful and pre-meditated. How is that second-degree in any sense?

Tigger_the_Wing Wrote:
Poor kid. I have never understood why society finds murder by family member less abhorrent than murder by stranger; surely, as the parents have considerable power over their children, their obligations should be greater, and any crime they commit against them should be treated more harshly, not more leniently.

And, as a society we should be helping people adequately as a matter of course instead of making them go through all sorts of red tape to access minimal support.


I agree completely

I find it absolutely disgusting when a parent kills their child disabled or not

the father should be given a life sentence with no hope of release

while courses in how to care or those with disabilities should be given

just my thoughts.

My mom (an OT) is currently dealing with a situation I find infuriating, and which is somewhat related... One of the kids she works for has CP, and severe spasticity in his hands and arms keeps him from writing. My mom's solution--the obvious one, even to untrained me--is to teach the kid to use a head pointer and a keyboard instead. Guess why he isn't being taught? Right--his parents (and the principal agrees with them) don't want him using a head pointer because it doesn't look normal! Instead, they insist on having him taught to hold a pencil... something which is at best difficult, slow, and inefficient, and at worst completely impossible. Apparently they are still allowed to damage functioning at the expense of "looking normal"... even when it could mean that this kid (who's in a wheelchair and will never "look normal" anyhow) won't be able to complete schoolwork, communicate in writing, etc... at all. This is pretty typical, because my mom also has an autistic kid they want to teach to speak... even though he's fifteen and hasn't learned yet... because using pictures, signs, and writing isn't "normal" enough.

I do not understand how parents of special-needs kids and principals who work at schools for special needs kids can be so absolutely dense when it comes to actually helping said special-needs kids.

M Wrote:
I also have no doubt that Tracy Latimer is a victim twice over – once of murder and once of the injustice served by a society that can't see beyond the surface of disabilities and won't invest the resources that families need to nourish children who don't communicate or move or process information like the majority.


M,
  Agreed.

  While we're at it, here's a *wonderful* example of 'autism advocacy'. Notice how *parents* of autistic children reacted to the cold-blooded *murder* of an autistic child. Even better, notice how the President of Montreal's autism society put *her* spin on the murder!!!

  And these people are ADVOCATES for autistics!!!

  There's *not* really a whole lot of difference between the Montreal Autism Society and Autism Speaks; nothing more than a matter of degree, really...

  -BobB

Callista Wrote:
My mom (an OT) is currently dealing with a situation I find infuriating, and which is somewhat related... One of the kids she works for has CP, and severe spasticity in his hands and arms keeps him from writing. My mom's solution--the obvious one, even to untrained me--is to teach the kid to use a head pointer and a keyboard instead. Guess why he isn't being taught? Right--his parents (and the principal agrees with them) don't want him using a head pointer because it doesn't look normal! Instead, they insist on having him taught to hold a pencil... something which is at best difficult, slow, and inefficient, and at worst completely impossible. Apparently they are still allowed to damage functioning at the expense of "looking normal"... even when it could mean that this kid (who's in a wheelchair and will never "look normal" anyhow) won't be able to complete schoolwork, communicate in writing, etc... at all. This is pretty typical, because my mom also has an autistic kid they want to teach to speak... even though he's fifteen and hasn't learned yet... because using pictures, signs, and writing isn't "normal" enough.

I do not understand how parents of special-needs kids and principals who work at schools for special needs kids can be so absolutely dense when it comes to actually helping said special-needs kids.



Just another reason I get suicidal thoughts!!  These {no bad word bad enough} people are not trying to HELP the kids.  They are trying to make themselves more comfortable in a world that has *defective* people that these normals are literally forced by law to deal with.  To have to put my child into their hands makes me INSANE!!  Early intervention, special preschool, what is it really for?  Not to help her, but to help them.  She has sat in that class for a year, learning nothing new, literally being held back in her reading, now at least second grade level, whereas not one other child in her class can read, period.

BobB Wrote:

  While we're at it, here's a *wonderful* example of 'autism advocacy'. Notice how *parents* of autistic children reacted to the cold-blooded *murder* of an autistic child. Even better, notice how the President of Montreal's autism society put *her* spin on the murder!!!

  And these people are ADVOCATES for autistics!!!

  There's *not* really a whole lot of difference between the Montreal Autism Society and Autism Speaks; nothing more than a matter of degree, really...

  -BobB


reading this link made me ill.  I have spent years trying to convince myself that I should not kill myself.  People think suicide is so evil.   Yet, some think it is perfectly fine for a parent to kill a child that is not under their definition of "normal" to save him from a "life of suffering".  ??????  Is their telling me not to try and kill myself, forcing autistics to act "normal" and medication people to be like zombies -- just all a mockery?  It feels like it.  

F***** cruel world!

I did post up a more recent story of a mother drowning her four year old daughter in the bathtub.  The murder and abuse just keeps happening over and over.

M Wrote:

BobB Wrote:

  While we're at it, here's a *wonderful* example of 'autism advocacy'. Notice how *parents* of autistic children reacted to the cold-blooded *murder* of an autistic child. Even better, notice how the President of Montreal's autism society put *her* spin on the murder!!!

  And these people are ADVOCATES for autistics!!!

  There's *not* really a whole lot of difference between the Montreal Autism Society and Autism Speaks; nothing more than a matter of degree, really...


reading this link made me ill.  I have spent years trying to convince myself that I should not kill myself.  People think suicide is so evil.   Yet, some think it is perfectly fine for a parent to kill a child that is not under their definition of "normal" to save him from a "life of suffering".  ??????  Is their telling me not to try and kill myself, forcing autistics to act "normal" and medication people to be like zombies -- just all a mockery?  It feels like it.  

F***** cruel world!

I did post up a more recent story of a mother drowning her four year old daughter in the bathtub.  The murder and abuse just keeps happening over and over.


M,
  Reading that link should make *anyone* ill!  Sad

  You *shouldn't* kill yourself; you're a *unique* person, and that alone is reason enough to find something to *live* for. Live on your *own* terms; don't accept *anyone* else's demands about what *you* should be!

  -BobB

Callista Wrote:
My mom (an OT) is currently dealing with a situation I find infuriating, and which is somewhat related... One of the kids she works for has CP, and severe spasticity in his hands and arms keeps him from writing. My mom's solution--the obvious one, even to untrained me--is to teach the kid to use a head pointer and a keyboard instead. Guess why he isn't being taught? Right--his parents (and the principal agrees with them) don't want him using a head pointer because it doesn't look normal! Instead, they insist on having him taught to hold a pencil... something which is at best difficult, slow, and inefficient, and at worst completely impossible. Apparently they are still allowed to damage functioning at the expense of "looking normal"... even when it could mean that this kid (who's in a wheelchair and will never "look normal" anyhow) won't be able to complete schoolwork, communicate in writing, etc... at all. This is pretty typical, because my mom also has an autistic kid they want to teach to speak... even though he's fifteen and hasn't learned yet... because using pictures, signs, and writing isn't "normal" enough.

I do not understand how parents of special-needs kids and principals who work at schools for special needs kids can be so absolutely dense when it comes to actually helping said special-needs kids.


IMO people have become so obsessed with making the kids look and act "normal" in order to prevent bullying and teasing as well was making it look like the kids have a "normal" life (no matter how superficial the appearance of a "normal" life is) that the children's own happiness and quality of life end up sacrificed. The fact that many parents use the achievements of their kids for their own selfish desires to improve their social standing in the community doesn't help either. IMO how fear of shame and humiliation exacted by the community influences parenting in negitive ways seems to be one of those uncomfortable truths that people like to keep in the closet except in the case of oppressive cults or "deviant" communities not typical of society at large.

Callista Wrote:
My mom (an OT) is currently dealing with a situation I find infuriating, and which is somewhat related... One of the kids she works for has CP, and severe spasticity in his hands and arms keeps him from writing. My mom's solution--the obvious one, even to untrained me--is to teach the kid to use a head pointer and a keyboard instead. Guess why he isn't being taught? Right--his parents (and the principal agrees with them) don't want him using a head pointer because it doesn't look normal! Instead, they insist on having him taught to hold a pencil... something which is at best difficult, slow, and inefficient, and at worst completely impossible. Apparently they are still allowed to damage functioning at the expense of "looking normal"... even when it could mean that this kid (who's in a wheelchair and will never "look normal" anyhow) won't be able to complete schoolwork, communicate in writing, etc... at all. This is pretty typical, because my mom also has an autistic kid they want to teach to speak... even though he's fifteen and hasn't learned yet... because using pictures, signs, and writing isn't "normal" enough.

I do not understand how parents of special-needs kids and principals who work at schools for special needs kids can be so absolutely dense when it comes to actually helping said special-needs kids.


Callista... in one of the courses that I'm taking at college we're being taught that a special needs child's worst enemy is a parent who refuses to open his mind to the potential and possibilities his child can achieve.
It frustrates me to no end whenever I hear of something like this.

And about this father murdering his own daughter (REGARDLES) of the idiotic reasons he gave. He should have life without parole in my opinion. I think punishment should be harsher for parents who neglect or kill their own children.

TTFN
Me

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