Aspies For Freedom

Hi everyone.  My name is Narelle and I'm a single mum with 3 children from Australia.  My eldest is 10 and is awaiting assessment....he had an initial assessment but they couldn't give me a definate yes/no so they want to do a more in-depth assessment.  But....until they say otherwise I'm saying he's Aspie   His school is really great.  They have a fantastic program and already have several autistic and aspie children there.  They work really hard with me to make things easier for him.  
Martin's biggest problem at the moment is aggression.  When he gets in trouble for doing the wrong thing he gets aggressive and bully's the teachers.  He's always devestated and terribly sorry afterwards but we're working on ways to try and get it so he doesn't reach that stage.
My other two children (daughter 8, son 5) are NT.  My 5yo shares a room with Martin and that works well most of the time.  
Martin is very good at maths, loves pokemon and very much into his gameboy   We all do Scouts (including me ) and that helps him learn to interact with others while also giving him a chance to make personal achievements.  Plus it's just plain fun

Anyway....nice to meet you all...so glad I found you

Thank you all

Rastus was actually what my Grandfather used to call me.  And I named my first cat Rastus.

Martin has 5 games for his gameboy.....4 of them are pokemon (I brought him sonic hedgehog out of pure frustration one time lol )  
I really need to start paying more attention when he talks about it.  I have some pokemon cards....just so Martin will have someone to play against (I don't let him take them to school....the other kids take advantage and steal his best cards).  I  need to start paying more attention to them.....or at least take a proper look at the cards in my deck and know which ones I have

Thanks Chimera

The school is trying to introduce Martin to social stories but he's not having it.  He is resisting the whole idea.  His teachers aim is to get him to do one buy the end of this term.  Not push him too much but still get him to do it.  Getting him at the right moment when he's receptive to the idea is the major thing I think.  He's been in trouble a bit lately and isn't very open to new ideas....but this week has been a great week for him so I'm hoping he'll get into it.

Definately something I'm trying to work out.

We had a bit of a breakthrough today.

He was having a small meltdown that was slowly escalating.  He was getting louder and more aggressive towards me.  I was speaking calmly.  After awhile I told him I was getting frustrated.  He replied that he was getting frustrated.  Conversation went as follows:

Me: I know why I'm frustrated...please tell me why you are frustrated.
Him: You keep chatting at me!
Me: When you chat at me I respond to you.
Him: But you keep chatting at me!
(Ok....need another way to explain it)
Me: When you chat at me I chat at you.
Him: But I don't want you to!
Me: Then don't chat at me and I won't chat back.
Him: I can't help it!

This was the first time he has ever verbalized what he needs from me in this situation.  I stopped "chatting" at him and went on with doing housework.  He kept "chatting" at me but I didn't respond.  In a very short time he calmed down and was back to being calm and his normal self.
My next step is working out when to chat and when not to chat   But I'm feeling on top of the world at the moment and very positive

Fantastic Tigger_the_Wing!!!  Definately going to give it a try   Thank you

Ok....spoke too soon about Martin having a good week   He had a meltdown today that escalated into aggression....end result being he kicked the glass door of the staff room and broke it.  Due to school policy he has been suspended for two days.  The principal is really wonderful.  She told me "no stress, no worries.  We are still getting to know Martin and just need to find out how to help him during these situations"  Much different response than his old school.  We have a meeting scheduled for Tuesday to discuss what happened and for Martin to help us know how to help him get through a meltdown.  I'm getting him to write a list over the weekend of what helps him get through a meltdown and what doesn't.....I have told him he can draw pictures if he can't find the words.  And he has agreed that that would be a good idea.
Another positive thing to come out of this is the school can now start pushing for his assessment date to be moved forward.....or at least get him in to get some help with his anxieties which would be wonderful.
The main issue seemed to be that they wanted him to sit down until he calmed down and he finds it better to pace.  I asked if he had told the teachers that and he said no.  I passed that onto the principal and she is doing to pass it on to the teachers.

As an adult and a mother I'm not supposed to find that type of comment amusing Ian.....but......rofl!!!