Aspies For Freedom

I like your family, Tigger. It seems like you have done an excellent job encouraging them to pursue their interests (whatever they may be), and look at all the good that has come of it.

(Operating heavy machinery looks fun)

My oldest has just turned 13, so no degrees or careers here, either.  However, he has finally found an athletic endeavor that he genuinely enjoys and is quite good at: fencing. Went to his first informal tournament last Friday and I was impressed. I've just been dropping him off for class for months, so I was astonished to see him holding his own against far superior fencers.  No, he didn't win any, but he didn't get spanked either.  And he definitely has his own style and energy .... after only 6 month of weekly lessons.

Welcome Moonbeam!

I will respond later, but as one of those peer rejected Aspies I can assure you... what your son needs is a mum that loves him, believes in him, and encourages him no matter what. That will always make the pain of school bullies much easier to bear.

My son was supported into employment. He was supported to study.

In the work place although he is young and new he is good at his job and can be relied upon. Because of this this his boss began giving him positions of responsibilty - putting him in charge positions giving direction to staff.

My son emailed his mentor to say he was leaving his job. He could not cope with the stress of the extra responsiblity. His boss is great - but he forgot about my son's special needs / differences. The mentor intervened - the boss reduced his responsibility /stress levels and gave him a $2 an hour rise to keep him.

I'm proud of my darling.

Janet - my son's gifts are also in mechanical invention and design.

He's my precious darling (at the moment) Janet  

I think so long as he knows that its cool to be himself, then he can survive a lot. Bullying is something that pretty much every Aspie faces in our lifetime; people are cruel at times, but equally, they aren't the kind of people you would want as friends anyway, now are they?

Thats just my 2p on it. What I've learned (the hard way) is that its far more important to be you and live your life. Not what everyone else is doing. School is a horrible place for having to be someone else. What I'd say is encourage him never to lose sight of himself, and how wondereful he is, and how special he is to you, and not to supress what he is... but equally, as a parent, encourage him to recognise that there is a time and a place for some of his stims (i.e. spinning). Thats very hard - one of my stims is that I make up other languages and think/talk about other worlds that I make up in my head when I can't deal with being on campus. Or when I'm upset. I sometimes stare at the sky and want to go home (yes, I'm one of those Aspies with the 'alien' complex ) - but then I think about how fantastic it is that I can be the anthropologist on Mars. I mean I'm 24 now and its taken me a long time to get to this stage, but thats with no family support. I find it really helpful when my friends just laugh if I start spinning or flapping - in fact my girlfriend and I were just in a mall having coffee, talking about Aspergers, and she decided that she was going to start spinning too. In the middle of a busy mall on a Sunday afternoon! And that made me laugh and feel so much more comfortable that I can be around people who don't give a toss, and actually think its kinda cool. She said that she thinks its cool that I can amuse myself for hours with my own little languages and stims - she burst out laughing when I said I was Saturn midspin. Randomness rocks! There will be kids out there who think its cool that your son is a true individual, but for the meantime, be that cool person who doesn't supress him, but guides him.

Also, you can be an Aspie and cool. Genuinely cool people don't give a toss what others think of them. The problem is that a lot of younger Aspies feel that because they don't wear the right clothes, have the right hair and say the right things, that they're not cool. Being in fashion and being cool are closely related but they are not the same thing. You can be in fashion, say and do all the right things etc but be a bumbling mess inside that is full of insecurity over how fat you look, whether or not Brad likes you yadda yadda yadda... but cool people, genuinely cool people, just get on with life. I think that with encouragement, support and respect, a lot more Aspies would be a lot more happy. We rock (sometimes literally ), really, we do.

Well, my little chap has just turned 8.  When he was 2 and a half he was seen by a paediatrician who said he was one of the worst cases of anxiety she had ever seen.  He had masses of fears and phobias (amongst other things) and didn't stop screaming until he was nearly 4.  He has had a lot of support BUT, it is through his own bravery that he has conquered many of his problems.

He is not gifted, he is not academic, but to see him happily running around the playground with his friend and to hear him chattering away to me about lampposts and telephone wires whilst happily walking past dogs and groups of people (just 2 of his previous fears and causes of meltdown) when we are out for a walk makes me immensely proud.

LOL!  I got a great laugh from that story!  By the way, the train interest?  It isn't likely to go away.  I'm 30 and I'm still obssessed with 'em! =)

There is just one camp here (IMO) please don't hint at separating people off into groups.
You make a very strong point - integrity is the ultimate ideal.
Thanks for the reminder.

Does ATM ever 'hint' at anything? :)
ATM there are parents who are aspies here, too, and even if you are in the "individuals without children" group-you can post in this thread unselfconciously, or any thread you like naturally. You write profoundish things, and I suspect you would make a good, righteous dad :)

Just because a child can't talk doesn't mean they are in severe pain. They could easily be frustrated that they can't communicate in such a way that they can make themselves understood. Severe autism can't be cured any more than mild autism can and it shouldn't be necessary to make autistic children talk for them to communicate.

Instead of wasting money on dubious therapies, wouldn't it be better to invest in the best technology possible to allow the child to communicate through writing or pointing?

For all we know, some of these "in pain" kids could be trying to communicate that they just wish to be left alone in their own world and not forced into doing things that are completely unnatural and inimical to them.

Number 0ne son aged 30 became internationally famous 10 months ago, for developing a blu-ray laser at an affordable price...around £100 or so ( they did exist at over £2000 ). There was so much interest that his website collapsed in the early days!!
His fame has remained at a consistent level & recently he has developed a higher powered device.
This laser is being used by cancer researchers, petroleum companies & universities worldwide.
Despite the fact that he has been unable to obtain other than a menial a job due to lack of paper qualifications, his advice has been sought by university professors and technological departments world wide.

He is colour blind and as a result has been unable to pursue his love of electronics as an employee, instead he used his skills using radiography. He built his first X-ray machine in my kitchen from bits & pieces when he was a teenager, now he is also an X-ray artist of promise.

This is some of his work...everyday items.

Nettle                      .                                                                    Headphones                                                                                                            

mouse                                                                                           cigarrettes

Seedpod                                                                                              Foxglove

alarm clock                                                                                   Seahorse
********************
Number one daughter aged 28 is a beautiful young woman, who suffered terribly during her teens through mental ill health, cutting herself & made many suicide attempts.
Through the support of her family, friends, colleagues & mainly herself, she has completely turned her life around.
Now she is very happily married & has a great job with the government where she is paid to take university courses in order to further her career.
*******************
Number two son aged 17 does not have any particular skills in the usual sense of the word, he is very interested in Playstation games & plays them constantly.
He loves us & he loves the cats, he is a very cuddly person & often sits on my lap, or lolls about on me.  
His greatest attribute is...HE IS CONTENT & HAPPY!!.

I am so proud of all of my children.

Your children are beautiful - just lovely.

John you are very handsome.

beautiful children.

My first thought was "How can you look at such a photo of such beautiful children and NOT at least believe in the possibility of indigo, crystal and rainbow children?".

Off my box now. I will post a picture of an obvious "crystal" child I spent time with in Sedona, AZ last year (Sidney). Here's the thing about crystals- they can be in pain and not complain. There are obviously very old souls.

A co-worker's child, an indigo, went to the prom with an overweight boy she knew 'cause he didn't want to go alone. How many kids will do that?! She also went to another prom with her regular boyfriend...

Ellen