Aspies For Freedom

Hello All,
I'm new! I'm sooo happy to have found this place! I'm really looking forward to some input from people who know.
I'm a single mother of two. My son is 11 and was diagnosised at 3 with Atypical Autism, he is on the sever end of the spectrum. He is functionally non-verbal, and the doctors say his congnitive ability is between 18months and 4 years old.
My other child is a 7 year old NTgirl, who is clever and sassy. Bringing to the table her own challenges.
My son has tons of traits that I contribute to his autism, I have a really hard time understanding him. For the most part I let him roam about in his own way, doing his thing. He likes tiny toys, letters, Sesame Street,small spaces, tapping and Food.
He is on Risperidone, because he started to get very violent 3 years ago. In the last two months he has started to have migraine headaches, the doc said it is partially because of his age and the constant stress he feels living in the "normal" world.

Talon is often stressed out, he gets frustrated, and I don't know why. I assume that it is the stimulation of the environment.
He has  unreasonable fears, some colors, the sky, cats....again I can only assume that there is something overstimulating about them.

Right now he is driving me crazy with pouring out all the products in the bathroom. Toothpaste, hair stuff, mouthwash, liquid soap, shampoo any thing he can get his hands on. He also draws all over the bathroom with bars of soap.
I have tried telling him its bad. Making him help clean it up.
I have tried to "Talon-proof" the bathroom, but doing that for a large 11 year old is not the same as for a toddler, and is not successfull.
It seems insignificant as I re-read this post, but I feel terrible, I hate to lose my cool with him he is so innocent, but I can have him making all this mess and wasting all this product.
So, if there is anyone (parent or otherwise) who has some practical suggestions please share them with me. If anyone can explain why he is doing this please tell me. I really would love to know what my little boy feels, and understands.
Thank you in advance
Dawn

Hi and welcome!  Glad you're here!

I have a 6 year old (probably) aspie son.  He loves putting loads of stuff in his bath, which is really bad for his skin, so I've taken to hiding bath stuff, soap, shampoo and so on in a high cupboard in my bedroom.  Your son is taking it more of an extreme and there will likely be others here with more experience and better advice than me, but I would hide as much stuff as possible and only have a minimum out for when it's needed.

First of all, welcome!

I am not a parent and don't have much practical advise, but as an autistic person, I understand how lots of things that bother me completely baffle my NT mom.

If you're using perfumes, lotions, deodorants, air fresheners, or any of these things, that might cause him to freak out. Even if my mom puts a bit of lotion on her hands during the day at work, 5 hours later when she is in the car I get a severe headache and I usually end up rubbing my face a lot, and when I was younger I would bang my head sometimes, too.

Perhaps he is pouring it out because he's interested in the feeling of squeezing stuff out of a bottle, or of looking at it pouring out. I did similar stuff to that. Maybe you can try getting a few empty bottles and putting water and food coloring dye in it, and letting him pour it into a bowl with supervision so that it doesn't get everywhere. I don't know if that would help, but it might be worth a try. I know I got into all sorts of trouble as a kid because I was exploring the textures and sights of things, so it might be why.

Best of luck to you! My parents raised three girls with three completely different personalities and types of behavior and academic problems, so I understand how exasperating kids can be.

That's a good idea, Marcia. After all, even if my idea helped, you'd still need to have the stuff kept somewhere else for when you're NOT right there with him.

Thank you for the suggestions. I will try even just placing some "allowed" containers on the counters and squirrling away the rest and see if that helps. He seems to love some smells and hate others. He will steal my mom's sweaters and other clothing and wrap himself up in them. But he hates the smell of Pinesol...
He is an endless mystery to me...I have spent 11 years studying him and still don't know what I"m doing most of the time. I really just try to let him be.

You're welcome!

And don't worry about him seeming like such a mystery - my mom is an endless mystery after my 18 years of studying her.

The one perfume/lotion type thing I have found that I really love is this cupcake body lotion that some girls in my classes have been wearing. Why can't everyone just wear that??? I think the world would be a much better place, and there'd be no wars, if we all just smelled like cupcakes. (>silly alert!>")P

Have you tried placing locks on the cupboards? That could effectively stop him from getting at them unless you open the lock yourself.

I have tried locks when possible, he (like me) is very strong. We tend to break things. I have a padlock on the first aid kit and the container where I keep the medications, but the bathroom is harder because the cabinet is all mirrored. I will try putting away stuff in the drawers, and if need be locking them.
I have failed to go that far until now because I was hoping this would pass, and I hate getting in the shower and reaching for the shampoo that isn't there.

You can also try getting bath paints.  We got those for my little brother when he was doing some of the same things.  You squeeze them out of the bottle into your hand, and then you can use them to paint on tiles, glass doors, etc, and they wash right off.
A lot of times the best way to deal with a problematic behavior is not to punish it, but to redirect it into a fun activity.  If kids have an outlet for their interest in textures or whatever else is causing the problem, it makes them less likely to seek it out in inappropriate ways.

A hook in the ceiling inside the shower compartment to hang a tiny net-type-baggie with the shampoo tucked inside.