Otherwise known as 'the one where ocampo stares at her own navel'........
As I'm usually loathe to care what anyone else thinks about me (in a negative sense only - its always nice to hear nice things), and I'm having a crappy time right now, I think I'm entitled to my one moment of navel-gazing.
Right now, I'm incredibly down on myself. I don't know why, but I can feel my tablets having an effect on me - it feels kinda like I'm on autopilot right now. I don't know if I feel good or not. I just feel... there. Although the feeling of wanting to be climbing up the walls isn't there - although that might be more to do with being on my own right now and feeling like I can breathe. I haven't eaten properly in days and I can feel my jeans slipping down over my bum; I feel like I should have a 'My Chemical Romance' t-shirt and fashionable boxers on. Although I am making colcannon now so I'm not adding an eating disorder to my list of worries
Anyway. I don't normally do this kind of thing, but *deep breath* if people can tell me nice things about myself, from how I come across to them, that would be really helpful to my mood right now. I do have 'real' friends but the ones I have in the city, I don't want to turn to (I think one of my friends' girlfriend hates me and I have no idea why - I've only met her once); and the ones out of the city are all guys and have their own lives. I've made some local Aspie friends through my ARC's Aspie site but I haven't met them yet - I'm going to a social group on Thursday evening, and ten pin bowling with them on Friday night. So there isn't really a lot of offline outreach for me right now, at this point in time. I'm hoping at the end of next week things will be a bit better.
Ocampo, I enjoy reading your posts, you are intelligent, articulate and make me laugh (in a good way
) I identify with a lot of what you say, and hell........I like anyone who likes the smell of petrol!!
Hope you feel better about yourself soon.
I say the smell of petrol's the opiate of the masses.
Love it.
I can pick up a core of inner goodness in you.
From reading your posts - it seems to me that you have come up fighting fiercly at times(against some past difficulties in your life) - with a desperate wish to survive and thrive.
In regard to the prozac - give it a little longer - give your body time to adjust - intially it is likely the prozac may have a sedating and numbing type effect. Do be careful of it though - take a minimal effective dose - this maybe the right medication for you - or it may not be. Keep in touch.
You have courage.
You will be a powerhouse in your 40s, as you'll be stronger, more integrated, and will have had more life experience than you have now. Your inner grit will carry you through.
You are willing to change when change is required.
You sure pick the odd day to feel crap; March 8. I looked through the rubble of my living quarters to find a record with Neneh Cherry so that I could play a song for you called 'Woman'... Couldn't find it so here's Judy Henske and 'Til the real thing comes along', oh my that gal had a Marshall stack in her chest.
Your writing are laser beams coated in strychnine heat and true blue truth...
Well I wanted to say how impressed I was with the post you left on the "I hated being as Aspie' thread, but I felt awkward. I'm being completely honest when I say that you give really good advice. I liked what you said about 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'... but all of it was great advice. Which means that makes you a thoughtful person who has a good heart.
Hi Ocampo,
I've been pondering this all morning, and it's about time I stopped procrastinating and started posting. It's very difficult for me to sum up what it is exactly that I like about another person without it sounding trite...
I could list all your positive qualities - your intelligence, your strength, your natural leadership abilities, or your kind hearted nature - but these things don't really come to the heart of the matter, and I suspect you know them already.
I could tell you that your posts here are always insightful, and always cheer me up in some way - but again, there's always more to it than that.
All I can really think of saying is that you're an amazing person, and you'll do amazing things with your life.
- Zakkie
I share the same sentiments as the others on this.. your posts show a lot of character and personality (always something I look for, and enjoy), and you don't show any conceit, if at all. You seem genuine.
ocampo, I have said you are strong -I guess I define strength as someone who is brave and has character-someone who keeps trying- though to give up would be much easier. You may feel as if you want to give up, but you don't.
It is a strength to admit that you may need help, and to do what it takes to make changes.. You are a survivor, that is clear, though right now it probably doesn't feel to you that you are-there is alot of stuff happening in your life that is difficult to deal with.
You will make it.
I agree with ^^^^everyone above especially:
Your writing are laser beams coated in strychnine heat and true blue truth...
You have courage.
that makes you a thoughtful person who has a good heart.
you're funny too-you have made me laugh outloud sitting here at my rather lonely keyboard :)
I really should say thanks to you for that because humour often gets me through the worst of times...
There are better times to come, for sure. hang in there.
this really says it all:
All I can really think of saying is that you're an amazing person, and you'll do amazing things with your life.
ocampo, I really love reading everything you post. You are funny, clever, kind; you stick up for yourself and others; when necessary you call a spade a *** shovel, and knock sense into (or seven shades of @#$% out of) trolls and miscreants.
As Mahler says, you are brave - truly brave, in that you face whatever life throws at you even when you don't want to.
You stick up for what is right, you encourage us when we falter and, on top of that you made us all jealous when you posted your pics as you are stunningly beautiful!
ocampo, I have said you are strong -I guess I define strength as someone who is brave and has character-someone who keeps trying- though to give up would be much easier. You may feel as if you want to give up, but you don't.
It is a strength to admit that you may need help, and to do what it takes to make changes.. You are a survivor, that is clear, though right now it probably doesn't feel to you that you are-there is alot of stuff happening in your life that is difficult to deal with.
You will make it.
I agree with ^^^^everyone above especially:
Your writing are laser beams coated in strychnine heat and true blue truth...
You have courage.
that makes you a thoughtful person who has a good heart.
you're funny too-you have made me laugh outloud sitting here at my rather lonely keyboard
I really should say thanks to you for that because humour often gets me through the worst of times...
There are better times to come, for sure. hang in there.
this really says it all:
All I can really think of saying is that you're an amazing person, and you'll do amazing things with your life.
ocampo, I really love reading everything you post. You are funny, clever, kind; you stick up for yourself and others; when necessary you call a spade a *** shovel, and knock sense into (or seven shades of @#$% out of) trolls and miscreants.
As Mahler says, you are brave - truly brave, in that you face whatever life throws at you even when you don't want to.
You stick up for what is right, you encourage us when we falter and, on top of that you made us all jealous when you posted your pics as you are stunningly beautiful!
I can't say better than these quotes, apart from you are great ocampo.
Thanks for your contributions...
Since my return Ive enjoyed your intelligent and genuine posts. (Phitttt.... you weren't here before to enjoy...). Oh, I'd limit the use of the word 'Crap' ;-) ... brings to my mind a messy substance often deposited on my lawn by nusiance pets, well, their nusiance owners that allow it...
this thread has made me cry, but in a good way.
Me, too. Really.
I've only been here a short while, but you were one of my favorite posters from the first day I found this site. Hope it doesn't sound odd coming from a total stranger, but I think you are a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing yourself and your thoughts with us.
Some of the regulars here actually do give me some hope that humanity isn't all bad.
Yes, and you are one of them.
Hope you feel better soon.
looking back through the archives, it seems that about this time of the year, a high proportion of us seem to suffer from depression.
has anyone looked into SAD's connection to AS?
oh, and Ocampo;
what I have said previously still stands. so dont beat yourself up. if you need to talk, you have my addy.