Aspies For Freedom

B"H

Hello.  Thank you for reading my post.  I have read many people here talk about the relationships that they don't have, the friends that they can't make, and the community that they are not part of.  We have a lot of "don't", "can't" and "not" going on around here.  I think that I would like to change the focus to a positive, if you please.  

What is wrong with being separate?  In Hebrew, "separate" means Kadosh, which is also equated to "Holy."  Holiness is a good thing, not a bad thing.  Please do not throw the potential for Holiness away simply because you have been conditioned to feel inadequate without fitting in to some social situation.

Now, being alone does not equate to being holy.  It is a good thing to have loving friends and a good community.  I am completely in favor of those things.  What I object to is the idea that we walk in to those things because of the feeling of a lack.  In other words, I oppose the idea of reaching out to others for some purpose other than reaching out to others.  Many people seem to reach for a form of societal acceptance that is really more about being something other than who they are.  This is the wrong reason to connect socially.

One can be separate, be hidden away, in the midst of good company and fine companionship.  One need not be in a grotto.  However, the ability to be separate, to be hidden away, is a good one to cultivate.  There will be times when we will be feeling alone.  There will be times when we are without company.  Such is part of life.  During those times, we must feel complete and whole, or we will make very bad decisions.  Those are times to meditate and to pray.  They are times to cultivate Holiness.  When we return to society, to human companionship, we will then be ready to truly contribute something.  

I have mostly turned off the television.  I do not watch "American Idol Worship," or whatever it is called.  I could care less for sports most of the time.  I do not care to be propagandized by the mainstream news.  Nor do I care to indulge in the latest fads.  That is all about being separate, in the best sense of what that means.  When you are accused of being "separate," thank them.  That is actually a compliment.

Again, KDSh in Hebrew means "separate."  One is separate from what is unclean.  Now, Holiness also implies a joining, an overcoming of separation. That is true also.  Both positions are correct.  One must indeed join with the better part of humanity to spread loving kindness. However, in order to join in Holiness, one must first learn to stand apart from what is unclean.  

Uncleanness surround us.  Most of what is on television, in movies, and in advertisement is unclean.  Frankly, most of the daily conversation that now passes for standard discourse is disgusting.  There are no more standards.  Social liberalism and economic conservatism have promoted a radical libertarianism that is actually becoming its own antithesis.  They have led the way to a less free society than we were a few decades ago.

We are not a genuinely free society here in the "Land of the Free."  Politicians are counting on us not to think.  And, we are glad to oblige them.  If one is not separate from this mess, one will be swallowed up by it.  You will believe that Big Lie when it comes.  It may well be fast upon us.  (I suspect that much of the recent diplomatic conflict in South America is based on the Big Lie!) And, when Big Lies come, people march obediently off to war or to enslavement.  They will then regret the choices that they made in the name of conformity and obedience to some cause that was ultimately worthless.

So, my friends, please do not be so eager to throw away your good sense, both intellectual and spiritual, to fit in.  Better to have no friends at all, whether here on AFF or out in the world, than to compromise what you know is right.  Obviously, I hope that we do have friends on AFF or in the world.  These should be REAL friends, who respect us for the principled stands we take.  If they demand that we drop those stands, then drop them like a hot tamale.  

That is my Torah thought for the week.  Really, it is more of a call to meditate and pray on the concept of Holiness than anything else.   Holiness is impossible without obedience to G-d.  Sorry, but the two are package deals.  If you do not obey G-d, you will obey Tyrants, whether secular or religious.  If we cultivate Holiness and obedience to G-d, we will be much happier as people.  Do not be afraid to be separate for a time, because in separation can be found Holiness.

One more thing, for those of you who are separate for long periods of time, I feel that you are being trained to fulfill a role some day.  Do not despair.  You are not abandoned.  Your time to step forward will come if you let yourself be trained for it.  You will know what I mean when the time comes.

All the best.

I agree that it isn't healthy to long for things that one obviously wont achieve at the moment. Parents might give you pressure to get friends, well, if you've been depressed for years because you long for friends that you don't get, you should obviously change your priorities. Parents should understand.

I be your friend any day Monotheist.  I love your mind thoughts.

My pleasure and priviledge.
It is best to get into the habit of looking to the positive.

Sometimes it is struggle and a battle when you feel like a misfit - but the trick to getting though it is self acceptance. Sometimes a struggle can add a depth of understanding and knowledge.

I have an interest in the science of humanities - your posts seem to have very strong humitarian principles.

ATM - can you tell me how the science of humanities and your religion tie up - if they tie up at all. Maybe humanities has a focus on strong human values - as does your religion. My interest is there - although my knowledge is lacking.

B"H

Erkelos:

Yes, parents should understand.  However, also understand that being separated is not the same thing as being alone or friendless.  The former is a state of being, the latter is a social state of disconnectedness.  The two can go together some times.  However, they are not the same thing.

Mr. Hricko:

Thank you.  I really enjoy reading what you write.  Please write or PM any time you want.

Lucie1:

I believe that one has not fulfilled one's duties to G-d if one does not fulfill one's duties to humanity.  

The Vertical and the Horizontal are both necessary to a proper relationship with the Divine.

If you feel that you need more conversation, please PM me and I will be glad to engage you.

All the best.

B"H

I fact, anyone at all who wants to talk more about this may write or PM any time.

All the best.

Judaism is the basis of Christianity - and the moral values of christianity appear to have guided the established cultural moral / value norms in the western world. I guess this is the link to the strong humanitarian principles in your messages ATM. But as you believe - the vertical must be there to establish a proper relationship with the divine.

B"H

I hope that you folks don't mind if I "bump" this thread, just this once.  Actually, I do it a lot, but oh well...

I would like to comment on why I do not dwell on certain subjects that I might be tempted to dwell on.  The difficulties of life at 34 without a lot of material stake in the world might be one subject that others can relate to, "Aspie" and "NT" alike.  It might be a great cathartic release, but I am not led there right now.  

I might discuss mathematical subjects, or political subjects, but I don't feel led that direction as much as I once was.  Rather, I believe that discovering my Purpose here is the most important thing.  It is even more important to me than defining myself as an "Aspie."  I have decided that I clearly am an "Aspie."  I could be mistaken for "NT," but only for so long.  The Behavior Specialist at my work, the one who observes us periodically, has probably figured it out.  I often wonder whether she is observing -----, or me!  

Yet, the real issue here is not what "diagnosis" I have, or even my travails, however real they are.  That was fine for a stage in my exploration.  However, my real question is; where am I going.  Where am I now?  What direction am I heading toward?  This is a vital question for "Aspies" as well as "NT's."  

That is why issues that I once dwelt on are less important.  I mention them here and there, but I do not focus on them as much.  I might mention mathematics, science, or politics here and there, or maybe a lot at some point.  But, for now, philosophy and deeper meaning seem to be what my explorations are focusing upon.

All the best.

"I often wonder whether she is observing -----, or me!"

In case you are wondering, I omitted the name due to privacy laws and ethical considerations.  The young person I work with probably does not know I am on the Spectrum.  Or, does he/she...?

All the best.

I am understanding some of this.  People often have relationships out of selfishness and not true love and caring.  They are friends only for what they can get out of someone and give only to receive.  

When people make the foundation of their life in their love for God, they are making a relationship based on love and obedience.  It seems weird to some people that we should love and fear God.  

Aloneness seems appealing if we do not wish to be polluted by others sin but we can not forget that God loves these others.  We are asked to love these others as well by God.  My challenge is not loving God and being obedient to Him but more to love others in their imperfections.