Aspies For Freedom

I've been going to an iPod site for just over a year now and have not had many problems. The community members there are great with discussions and we tend to have a good time. However just recently there was a thread regarding how people can afford their iPods. It got turned into the maturity of people to handle money. I made a comment about how I am more mature than others my age and he attacked that. The member in question's name is baggs.

His comment was the following: Someday you'll realize how pathetically immature and downright stupid that statement is. In the interim you'll continue to think that you have lived some sort of "special" life that gives you insight that your peers won't have for years. In the end you'll realize that you are just an average normal member of the human race with normal experiences and that there is really nothing particularly "special" or really even "different" about you. It's called "growing-up".

Seeing as how this member ragged on me for quite some time I responded nicely and in the response I revealed that I was Autistic. I did not plan on this but his comment struck a chord.

I said: I wish that baggs, I really do. Because well, you know, being Autistic and all I would have to disagree with you there. I pretty much am different than the average member of the human race. This is also why my maturity is higher, because of a photographic memory and savant like skills, I speak, act and know a lot more than any 18 year old I know ever will. (Hence the grade six reading like a grade twelve comment). I am very secretive about this but that post just begged for me to reply with it, and so that is what I have done. So maybe you might just want to take that last comment back.

He responded with something incredibly repulsive: Wait, you want me to apologize because you have issues that I did not know about? Give me an freaking break! I'm reading this as you are using your "disease" as an excuse for your behavior, which is completely unacceptable in my opinion. Don't come out ad play in the real world and then expect everyone to get all gushy when you tell us that you have problems. Had I known that up front I might have reacted differently to you but since you did not tell us and acted just like anyone else you don't get a pass for your behavior. You have a disease that millions of others around the world suffer from, so what? That still doesn't make you "special" unless you choose to let it define your life for you, which it appears that you are. You need to figure your life out and wether you are going to be defined by you or by your disease.

I will admit the photographic memory thing does sound cool though.

Of course I responded completely offended and I came here t show you once again how people can be so ignorant. I find that highly offensive as I'm sure we all would hear. Another member said a relative has AS and that she understands completely. I didn't use it for any reason other than to make a point, and this jerk was rude.

Seeing as how a lot of us are Autism Actvists, I wanted to know if there was anything that could be done about this....along the line of others posting to rebut his "point" and show him to be the ignorant asshole he really is. It would really be sticking it to him.

The original thread is here: http://forums.ilounge.com/showthread.php...273&page=5

I would like to add that this asshole made another post and the thread was eventually closed but all his posts remain. In it he said: You did read it. Deal with it. The world is not a nice place sometimes. I would think you would know that by now with all of that "wisdom" you have.

On top of that, if you think I am going to give any sort of pass because I now know this information, you are sadly mistaken. If you want to come here and interact with us in a normal fashion, you will be treaded normally. You want to be a jerk, you'll be treated like a jerk. I'm not going to change my opinion of you or "lighten up" just because you are offended or because of your disease. Heck, I've offended better people than you on this forum and some of them I now consider friends or at least grudgingly respect (yes, JMG falls into that last category).

And just so you know, if you do actually have this disease, you are doing quite well in dealing with it and being able to interact socially. Color me impressed. I never would have considered you to be anything more than an average self centered snot-nosed 18 year old know-it-all.


I cannot believe that this is going on. If there is anything I can do, or that we can do (posting the facts) it would be great. The fact that a moderator on that site closed the thread and yet allowed these posts to stay up is unacceptable. I find this highly offensive and I'm sure you do as well.

I do. However, I have to say, I think I can suggest a slightly more mature reaction. Of course, that might be because I'm 53 years old and have been dealing with jerks online for over 20 years ;-)

It's clear this guy is insecure about his own ability to cope with life, and more than likely battling a clinical depression of his own. I know it's extremely frustrating to let him have the last post, but - trust me - all the people who are intelligent enough to matter have made up their minds well before his last post. Let his acerbic and arrogant carping be the last thing they remember. It does you more good than it does him.

Over the long term, if you continually speak quietly and sensibly, and he is continually reactionary, petulant, and arrogant, then you, eventually, win.

Oh, and a piece of advice that I learned the hard way: never try to educate the willfully ignorant. If you must reply to them, be sure your post is really for the benefit of the other readers. Fools are useless targets - except for spit wads and water guns ;-)

It seems that when you explained that you're not "normal" by stating that you're autistic, he took it to mean that you were trying to use it as an excuse for what he perceived to be unacceptable behavior. Another thing that seemed to tick him off was that someone who seemed to him to be normal is turning out not to be normal. A lot of people, surprisingly, get very uncomfortable with this idea.

In fact, I think that's why a lot of people question the reality of or downplay things like Aspergers or ADHD -- because someone who seemed "just quirky" or "just a little hyper" has a diagnosis, and many people (especially older generations) think of psychiatric diagnoses as a hush-hush thing you ought to want to keep hidden.

Also, some of your statements (about reading level, for instance) could be construed as bragging, and people can get pretty irritated if they think you're trying to imply you're better than they are. I think it would be good to explain that autistics, in stating facts, a lot of the time don't realize that such a statement could be read as boasting.

By referring to autism as a disease, while it's an ignorant statement, it's extremely common, thanks to the media. So a simple, polite statement that it is a common misconception that autism is a disease, and that you weren't trying to use being autistic as an excuse for anything.

Hopefully this can clarify things.

Agree with earthmonkey.

I rarely reveal my DX to people I don't trust 100%, let alone people I don't know properly.

I suggest you do the same.

the mature thing to do would be to ignore him and any futher comments he makes

It came spur of the moment and since I've asked for it to be removed. Obviously you members here have never gone there, but this guy's been a member for about 4-5 years now and he's a complete jackass when he gets in arguments. He personally attacks people's families and I have no idea why he's still there, I think it''s because he was one of the original group of members. Either way, he deliberately said it the second time and attacked me further because he's that type of a person. I hope he gets banned to be honest because he's caused nothing but problems for myself and other members there. I do agree with earthmonkey though, what you said is true.

Also, a user by the name of AutisticSTIMMINGFurball is spamming me via PM and is obviously nothing but a fake who came to this site to antagonize us. I'm pointing this out here since it's about this thread. The exact message was, "Some NT said you were normal!?! Oh my that's really offensive! I love Autism/Asperger's its great!"

Isn't possible to ignore his PM's?

I mean block them.

[strike]so just report his arse.[/strike]

ask him to leave you alone, tell him you are annoyed by it, if he persists, report his arse :p

Gee, I hate attitudes like that - no compassion or understanding at all and the thinking that they are so perfect annoys me so much.

Funniest thing is i'm like that in some ways, and i'm only 19.

Furball really is an enthusiastic autism rights activist, not a troll.  

I've seen posts by Furball in other places.

Kylo, that is typical NT prejudice. He won't accept the inherently different thought channels of someone on the Spectrum, so he has no right to accuse you of proverbially hiding behind your condition. That's no different to being discriminated against because of your skin colour or your gender.