Say you're trying to consider whether you, as chief of the US armed forced, should drop the a-bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, or risk prolonging the war indefinitely and maybe suffer even harder losses--or your bet might turn out well, the war will quickly be over, and the civilian losses will be much smaller than if you drop the bomb. Now, whatever you do, lots of people will die. Would you say that this choice of death is because you want people to die? I would say that you don't want people to die, you were forced to make that choice. It would be incorrect to state that the people responsible for making that decision did so because they wanted lots of people to die.
Take it one step back. He chose which choice to make, he weighed the pro's and cons, and made a decision. Forced? Not unless someone shoved his hand on the switch. A more proper term would be "Saw no other alternative".
No, but more often than not they do. Whether you will have friends, a job, a good relationship with your parents, the house you want, whether you're able to pursue your interests, whether you'll find a mate or die lonely and childless, whether you'll live rich or live poor, what education you'll get--all these things depend on other people's opinions of you. Some clearly more than others, and in some situations, extraordinary situations, what you do will matter more than what people think. But more often than not, it will.
I could live on my own if I didn't want to deal with anyone or anything. By merely having that choice, it is my decision to endure whatever this society has in store for me.
You're making assumptions again, and again your assumptions are wrong.
Actually it's the first assumption I made, but you're right, I was wrong. I took words at face value and didn't know what you meant. Ironically, neither side is right (In the debate about aborting autistic babies). One side thinks it's a disadvantage, one doesn't. What you and I think as being normal, or just different, is bad to them. Ultimately it will be the parent's decision, and if they all want to abort them, what can you do, you know?
I was assuming you'd want an end to the bad treatment. If you're a masochist, go ahead. If not, then choosing 1) will only prolong the bad treatment.
Well, you can always remove them from your life. Get another job, don't talk to them etc. Not saying it's the best <.< there are other methods.
You're once again making assumptions wildly off the mark. I have said no such thing as "[I'll] do anything to fit in". This isn't binary. There's a difference between never doing anything to fit in, always doing everything to fit in, and sometimes doing something to fit in.
You stated, and I quote "I have no wish to go to extra lengths to satisfy anyone else's opinions.
However, if I don't, a whole load of crap is coming my way. Therefore, I have to."
And "Every time people treat you badly because you don't fit it, you have two choices: either you can conform to their expectations, or you can try to change their mind. In either alternative, what they feel and think about you is important."
ETC
I'm sorry if you stating in your own words how you have to conform to everyone in order to have friends and a comfortable life seems different than doing anything to fit in for fear of consequences. You're really grabbing at air now aren't you.
You effect your life, but your boss clearly affects your life.
You're not actively choosing to "let people have control over you". People do have control over you. It's inevitable. We live in society--in society, people exert power over people. No man is an island, and no man is unaffected by the power other people exert on them.
I'm guessing you don't say you're actively choosing to let people have control over you simply because you choose to live in society, as opposed to, say, becoming a hermit on a faraway mountain top.
Wow, my mistake, I didn't know that when you get a job, you don't sign an employment agreement, or actively seek one. I guess in your town, other people decide what job you take. That was sarcasm, by the way. You keep forgetting to take a step back. YOU got the job YOU let the boss be in control, therefore YOU are in control, not him. When I get a job, I keep in mind I may lose it, but I can get another, therefore when my boss wants to fire me or I quit, it has little or no affect on me, and conversely it was my choice all along to make it this way. It is equally the same in the opposite sense. This whole argument is stupid anyway, it's philosophy, I know I'll never prove anything, and retrospectively you either.
Since you don't care what I say, I don't feel bad for calling you an idiot. This is idiotic.
Good, you shouldn't lol
Once again, you seem completely unable to see the conceptual distinction between doing something because you want to, and doing something out of necessity. I need fluid and food and shelter, and I'm willing to do very much to get it.
Oh I see, while we're at it, I guess you didn't chose to eat either? Eating is just a random occurrence that happens with no effort or thought. You know since it's a necessity to live obviously there's no choice in the matter. Suicides are just myths where people happen to die because they had no other alternative, just like eating. I'd also like to point out, the word "Willing" implies choice. But I digress. Necessity is merely a requirement for a state of being. In order to stay alive, it's a necessity to eat. Doesn't mean you have to stay alive.
I acknowledge that there are always people who have gone through worse, but setting aside extremes, you don't know *** about me and therefore cannot tell how good or bad my life has been up to this point. Quit making faulty assumptions.
I never did, so drop the point already.
And if you don't want life to become a string of disappointments, you'll either have a mentality that is inborn (I say this because you apparently are fine with the way your life turns out, despite not caring what other people think--well, if that's the case, you're endowed with a mind of a kind that I don't have and can't will myself to have, and neither can most people), or be exceptionally lucky.
That would explain a lot actually. No one but my best friend and fiance grasp any concept I try to present, because it's seemingly otherwise impossible to make yourself as I have become. Sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of mental syndrome lol. Anyway we can stop arguing about whether conforming will make your life better. For the most part, it's true, unless you're like me, and cease to worry about things like that. My whole point was there is a choice, not really that it's better to think like I do.
Do you think people can choose not to want happiness?
Existence would cease without goals that involve some form of it, so no.
If not, then you might see that for many people, this happiness is entirely dependent on the opinions of others, whether they like it or not (I for one, don't particularly like this realization). So, they don't choose it, it happens out of necessity. Anything else would be contrary to their nature.
Well no sense repeating what I've said a million times. It only happens out of necessity if thats how they want to be. I'm completely different, for instance, if someone accepts me for how I have conformed, I do not consider them friends, it's a perversion of the very definition. Someone who doesn't accept you for who you are is not a friend at all. I'm happier with real pain, than fake happiness.
You wrote, "understand that it's nothing especially worse for you". How the hell could you know? You don't. Of course there are always worse things that could happen, but that doesn't mean something isn't "especially worse". Say, if you're talking about a victim of a brutal rape (note: this is an example, and only an example), you'd be wrong to say, "Hey, there are people who get abused to death! This is nothing especially worse for you!" And so it is with everything else.
Completely out of context, but whichever. What my statement means, is that there are other's who suffer because of *** like this, and that you are not special in anyway. How do I know? There's a whole forum of people who probably have had similar experiences, there's MILLIONS of people out there who have had worse.
A proper example would be saying that a victim of brutal rape is not the only one who has been brutally raped. And if a girl or guy who had been brutally raped, was incessantly saying how the world is unfair because it happened to her, and crying out for attention all the time, then I would state that there are other's in similar situations who have it much worse even and to stop whining. I'm sorry I didn't add "to be suffering" at the end of the statement. Thats what I was implying, and it's true, how the hell would I know - don't be stupid. I wasn't pretending to know your situation, I was merely stating that you're not the only one who suffers because of something in their life.
Wow. It's all binary to you, is it? There is a large continuum between doing nothing without getting acceptance from peers, and doing nothing to ever get acceptance from peers. There is a large difference between someone who's unable to think or act for themselves unless they're certain they'll conform to society's norms, and someone who realizes that sometimes one needs to either conform or change the norms, for living on the side of the norms will often not be beneficial.
This isn't black and white.
Let me take your logic, and put it into perspective for you. You steal from one person, and not from others. Are you a thief? Yes.
You conform to other's opinions when you feel you have to, but not to everyone. Does this make you cater to other's opinions and/or conformist? Yes.
You may think for yourself, you may not be a slave to society, but you certainly aren't being yourself. Your happiness stems from not feeling bad, therefore you fear consequences. It's simple psychology and logic. You fear what is the opposite of happiness. So I still see no problem in my statement.