'cuz o' all the arguments lately I think it might be good to find ways to steer off arguments.
When I feel things might develop into an argument I just say that I wont post anymore, it is really hard to do just that if the someone happened to make this **** remark right after that, but I hold on anyway.
I tend to not reply to criticism, and definitely not criticism of my criticism, I'm not taking much personally now anyway. Possibly because I've realized arguments are exhausting.
Another (possible) reason to avoid arguments including performing flaming is that people like LC might then just get more attention, which aint positive after all. That was at least the idea many of us had about crusading against this Fore Sam guy. Best to say that the guy is way out of league once and then leave the thread I'd say.
Humour is often the thing that prevents bad feelings, definitely.
... but I'm rather an...
A-Spy
Should finish my idea for a logo as I've Photoshop more available right now.
I think I've been in too many arguements recently.
Bad things have happened which I don't completely understand...
I've tried to be act in a balanced and even handed way and yet all I end up doing is upsetting people.
I could never be a moderator...
I get too emotional involved...I loose perspective and behave irrationally.
I'm avoiding auguements from now on.
Well, the thing is, people want you to take a stand one way or the other. Trying to please everybody never works.
I dunno - I know arguing can be exhausting... but for me I find when someone puts forward a point of view and it isn't challenged on a forum that will makes watchers think that people agree with them.
Have often thought that too, but people who get alot of attention tend to be kinda loud. LC even caught the attention of people on the Autism Speaks forum.
But people want to feel that you are on "their side". If you side with new people against older friends, then naturally the older friends are going to wonder how valued their friendship really was.
If it comes down to it, I’m always going to support my older friends over newer people.
But I do try to see both sides…
This can sometimes mean I get trapped in the middle.
It can appear to my older friends that I’ve abandoned them in favour of newly people--when this was never truely the case.
I have in the past associated with unpopular people (Lucie1, Wilky etc)--I make no apologies for this; but I've never for one second forgotten where my loyalties lie.
hmm...well, yesterday, i made a comment suggesting that the military would be a bad thing, and the guy started trolling.
i will admit, i shouldnt have fed the troll, but....well, sometimes you just see red
It's like getting in the way of old people, as revenge for them doing the same to you.
You shouldn't do it, but in the end you just end up doing it anyway.
But people want to feel that you are on "their side". If you side with new people against older friends, then naturally the older friends are going to wonder how valued their friendship really was.
If it comes down to it, I’m always going to support my older friends over newer people.
But I do try to see both sides…
This can sometimes mean I get trapped in the middle.
It can appear to my older friends that I’ve abandoned them in favour of newly people--when this was never truely the case.
I have in the past associated with unpopular people (Lucie1, Wilky etc)--I make no apologies for this; but I've never for one second forgotten where my loyalties lie.
But not all sides are equally valid in all cases.
You're right…
All sides are not equally valid; and not everything is a matter of opinion.
But its still possible to see things from another person’s point of view--even if you don’t agree with them.
People are people...and sometime even clever people can make mistakes and behave badly.
And whilst it’s impossible to condone the actions such people--it is possible to understand; and there’s little point in holding a grudge or pursuing a vendetta.
Everyone deserves compassion and forgiveness.
No-one is irredeemable.
I think it's quite possible to take a decisive stand, whilst also understanding how a situation came about.
It's not wishy-washy to want to understand someone who's done something wrong.
But it would be wishy-washy not to explain to them why they have upset people.
If you attack them...often you can incite the very behaviour you're trying to prevent.
I don't care much about agreeing with people I know on the forums. If my disagreement cause bad feelings there must have happened something dirty in the discussion. Someone taking things personal for valid or not so valid reasons.
The other day I was flamed at the norwegian forum for saying "Where I come from, Dr. Reichelt's theories are taken as gibberish" and then presented an alternative theory supporting the gluten free/casein free diet giving a link and everything.
They obviously took it very personal. I wrote it because they had all presented Reichelt's theories as a statement of fact to someone who I believe didn't have much idea about the controversy.
It was probably a mistake to use the word "gibberish", but I honestly think they shouldn't have taken it that personal. They called that single post that wasn't really meant to be provoking a "protest", but HEY IT WASNT!!!
Just wanted to help that fellow.
Well as far as I see it there is no harm in allowing others to convince you once in a while.
Or if something looks like it's going to escalate into a flame war, and you don't want to be involved, sometimes probably the best course is to back away and either let all the other people have at each other until they run out of steam, or back out and let either the thread or at least the argument fade into obscurity.
ALSO remembering that everyone is entitled to an opinion. It is not easy to maintain a level of detachment when a point is important to you, but if someone takes the opposite view, it is not always a personal attack.
Hope that makes sense. (my brain hurts)
If they are credible, they might be able to convince me.
*bump*
Thought about making a thread about how moderators should handle arguments, but guessed bumping this might be more appropriate.