Aspies For Freedom

I am going to get a diagnosis. I'm not sure if I meet it exactly, I guess. I was wondering if I have these things which I will list below, does anyone feel I should?

-Social Interactions, I'm not great at it, and never have been, didn't have many friends, and no one ever came to my house or called. As I've gotten older, it's actually gotten worse, and now I have NO friends, whatsoever, but I 'm wondering if it's my own fault, because I don't seek them out.People believe that I am shy, when most of it is due to me not understanding, and everything going too fast, my brain doesn't process fast at all.

-I'm very bad at eye-contact, my eyes are very jumpy, it is also hard for me to see and hear at the same time, and when I try, it leads to a headache. Eye contact is also very uncomfortable for me, so I focus on mouths.

-Obsessions- I have obsessions, which interfere with doing my work, autism/asperger syndrome is one that I think about constantly. I don't talk to people about them though, I can have an obsession and keep it to myself, except for the rare time that I am feeling talkative, my family doesn't even know I have this obsession,plus ones involving beetles, handedness. I could tell quite a bit of info. on these subjects, but I don't have the urge to. If no one knows, is it an obsession? I become fixated on things, but in my own head, I keep it to myself.

-I repeat things I hear until I get sick of saying it, I also make up stories about people, and I love looking at license plates, and memorizing the numbers. I take note of things such as bus stop numbers, and on the bus I may move because there is a pattern, such as person, seat, person, seat, etc. I am very good at remembering numbers.

-I rock, from side to side, as I am doing now. At my job, a lot. As a child, I use to tap all the time, which really frustrated my teachers, though it has been replaced with rocking now that I am older.I rock when I am just standing. I flick my hands at my sides, sometimes at my ears when I get excited, and sometimes do one jump when I get excited.I flap some, usually when I am alone, and I get anxious. These are subtle, though. I pace, in circles, what is that?

-Auditory problems-this is the most horrible problem, I sometimes wish I would go deaf. I explore the world with my ears, but they are very sensitive. Some tactile sensitivities, tight clothing, and certain foods I won't eat, like bananas, too soft and mushy, and the smell makes me want to throw up. Being in a room with many people is very painful, and also high-heeled shoes/flip flops, certain male voices are ugly to me and bus engines. Many people talking makes me want to throw up, recent development. I do get sensory overloads through auditory--tremors, and lots of pressure in my head--once, but the pressure- more than once.Talking on the phone, is hard, the voice turns into sound, and it takes LOTS of concentration to be on phones.

-I have a hard time knowing what to do in social situations, and I say the wrong things, and hurt people's feelings accidentally.Such as "asking for a cheeseburger with no cheese." This isn't socially acceptable.

-I was once asked if I was autistic, because I take things so literally. I can't tell if someone is joking or not, it's really frustrating.He had read about autism, and told the other students, that whatever I said, no matter how odd, was to be taken literally, which really helped.

-I'm not great with body language, and so I am naive, though I am working on it through watching TV. I get confused with faces, and read them wrong sometime.

-I have to constantly remind myself to ask someone a question, when talking to them, and I'm not great at responding correctly to what someone says.

-I drink fruit punch, and eat applesauce everyday, and when I order something I always get the same thing. I'm terrible with new things, such as bedspreads, or coats. I like things to stay the same.Very indecisive, also.I stack cans, this is fascinating.

-I become fixated on objects, such as a hat that I wear almost all the time, to bed, and some headphones; I change shoes after a long time of wearing them.

-I have difficulties with remembering things, so I make lists every morning of things I have to do.

-I get lost easily, unless I can visualize it.

-I have a hard time knowing when someone is bad or good, and knowing how to look for dangerous items, such as "a computer in your bed may burn you." I realized that it could start a fire, due to my mom telling me "be careful of fires", but I had never thought that it would burn me. I do stupid things like that, it just doesn't occur to me.

-I use people's phrases all the time.It's the only way I can sound professional. I am a good mimic, so I seem pretty normal, though not completely because people call me "odd" and "strange."

-I am in my own world a lot more than the world, and I am unaware of people most of the time, many times it is like I am the only one.

-I am hyposensitive to hot/cold. I have a hard time modulating my voice to different situations, it is mostly soft. At times, my voice can be very flat.

-I'm not good at multitasking, and was/am very clumsy, though especially as a child. But I was always good at sports and handwriting, though I never made friends on the teams. I become stiff when someone gives me a hug, though these are tolerable.

-I am in college, and I'm doing well, not academically at the moment, due to obsessions, but I am working on it.I don't get lost easily in college, because my classes are right by eachother. I have a job, I was having difficulty in the beginning with social skills and schedules, but that has also gotten better.Though being more sociable, makes me tired, and I go to sleep almost everyday after work.  I don't really have an interest in people or fads, and I never have, so I'm not lonely. I don't know, is it even worth it? I would feel better; to be able to belong with people that understand me, but maybe I am overreacting?

My family realizes that I have communication problems and social problems, but they feel I should just get out more, I don't know what to do, should I just tell them the problems I have? I am much more relaxed with my family, and socialize pretty well, a lot of these things are reduced when I am with them, my mom's house is nice and quiet, so no auditory problems, I am quite a bit more outgoing, though my sister does most of the talking while I stare off somewhere, so I can use my ears, and actually listen to her. I relate to my family pretty well, but they are the exception.

-With obsessions, to be able to move onto something else, I first have to fulfill something.

My family does realize I am different, and people who meet me, but I seem to be doing ok now. Sorry, for the extremely long post, there is more, but I won't go into anymore detail.

Surely something like this is your choice and yours alone?

I don't understand what the question mark is supposed to mean.

I asked it as a question.

The question I have for you, is what do you feel you will gain by having an official diagnosis?  Is the official diagnosis something you feel you need to have to explain yourself either to yourself or to others?  Or are there services you hope to access by having a diagnosis?

A medical diagnosis, in my opinion, is only as good as what it can accomplish for you.  We have gotten my son a school use diagnosis, but nothing more, because our family is comfortable that the label most likely fits, feel that acting on the assumption that it fits benefits my son and our family, and have been able to access all the services we feel he needs through the school.  But having it become official, having it put into his medical file, makes it more permanent, and at this point I see potential negatives to it without benefits.  A label allows others to make assumptions about a person that are often not in that person's best interest.  A label can lead to prejudice.  A label may affect your ability to get medical insurance or be offered a job.  I've learned this from others at this forum; there are members here who would much prefer to keep the diagnosis to themselves, but are stuck with it in their permanent records, and are none too happy about it.

So it wraps back to what benefit are you seeking from making it official.  I read your post and agree with your instinct that you are most likely an Aspie.  For many Aspies, reaching that level of understanding within themselves, and for themselves alone, is benefit enough; nothing official is needed.  But for others, who feel the need for certainty, or who want a tool for dealing with family members, or who wish to access certain services, an official diagnosis is sought.  It all comes down to what you want to do with it, because there are potential downsides to it, and you do need to be aware of that.

Best of luck to you.  I think the Aspie brain is an amazing gift.  One that comes with burdens, yes, but the gifts are really special.  I wouldn't change my son for anything.

[quote=DW_a_mom]
The question I have for you, is what do you feel you will gain by having an official diagnosis?  Is the official diagnosis something you feel you need to have to explain yourself either to yourself or to others?  Or are there services you hope to access by having a diagnosis?

A medical diagnosis, in my opinion, is only as good as what it can accomplish for you.  We have gotten my son a school use diagnosis, but nothing more, because our family is comfortable that the label most likely fits, feel that acting on the assumption that it fits benefits my son and our family, and have been able to access all the services we feel he needs through the school.  But having it become official, having it put into his medical file, makes it more permanent, and at this point I see potential negatives to it without benefits.  A label allows others to make assumptions about a person that are often not in that person's best interest.  A label can lead to prejudice.  A label may affect your ability to get medical insurance or be offered a job.  I've learned this from others at this forum; there are members here who would much prefer to keep the diagnosis to themselves, but are stuck with it in their permanent records, and are none too happy about it.

So it wraps back to what benefit are you seeking from making it official.  I read your post and agree with your instinct that you are most likely an Aspie.  For many Aspies, reaching that level of understanding within themselves, and for themselves alone, is benefit enough; nothing official is needed.  But for others, who feel the need for certainty, or who want a tool for dealing with family members, or who wish to access certain services, an official diagnosis is sought.  It all comes down to what you want to do with it, because there are potential downsides to it, and you do need to be aware of that.

I feel that I would like to make it certain for myself, so that I can completely immerse myself into the autistic community, and also to explain to my family.I hope to be able to access services such as, a small amount of extra time on math tests, I have always had difficulties in finishing tests on time. Throughout high school, my teachers would just give us extra time, if we needed it, and I always needed it.Now, that I am in college, my test scores are very low, I always run out of time. I would also like a reduced distraction room, it is very hard to concentrate when people walk down the hallways with high-heeled shoes, I completely lose my concentration, and the sound is amplified in my head, it is also difficult when others finish their tests and they begin to converse with eachother, and move desks, I'm not good at filtering out noises, and this usually leads to most of the last parts of my test not being finished.I don't want a diagnosis just for confirmation, I also would just like a quiet room, and the disability center at my school offers quiet rooms for students with sensory problems. If I could get these things, that would be great.

Why wouldn't a person with asperger's syndrome get medical insurance?
I understand what you are saying about assumptions people make.I have many non-medical labels (slow, strange) that people throw on me, but to me they aren't true, this one would be one I actually can relate to.

Thanks, and good luck with your son.

-I am in college, and I'm doing well, not academically at the moment, due to obsessions, but I am working on it.I don't get lost easily in college, because my classes are right by eachother. I have a job, I was having difficulty in the beginning with social skills and schedules, but that has also gotten better.Though being more sociable, makes me tired, and I go to sleep almost everyday after work.  I don't really have an interest in people or fads, and I never have, so I'm not lonely. I don't know, is it even worth it? I would feel better; to be able to belong with people that understand me, but maybe I am overreacting?

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You are in college, you have a job, you are not lonely: You are MILES ahead of 1000s of people, NT or whatever. Congrats to you! Don't worry about the rest. You are doing GREAT!

hundred4ever, you asked why I implied an Asperger's diagnosis might affect medical insurance, and my answer is that here in the US virtually everything does.  While I do not know of Asperger's being specifically used to deny coverage, or to offer coverage at an increased rate, it isn't a big leap for me to see them doing this, since US insurance companies already use so many dubious hooks to deny coverage, or charge extra.  As long as someone jumps from employer provided coverage to employer provided coverage it isn't likely ever to become an issue, but the second you need to apply for individual coverage or face a plan where pre-existing conditions can be excluded, you discover just how quick the insurance companies are to hang their hat on anything to get out of dealing with you.

Will your college consider offering you the special accommodations based on any less formal methods of diagnosis, or will they receive a medical evaluation?  I can definitely see where the accommodations you described would help you quite a bit.

I do wish you luck sorting through this all.  I think my family and my son have been so fortunate, in having professionals willing to see an issue and help with it from a very early age.  While his grades can and do suffer from the areas in which he is impaired, he has been given so many tools with which to succeed brilliantly in the areas he can.  Without recognition of what is going on with him, I think his road at school would have been much, much more difficult and frustrating.  He does plan to go to college someday, and everyone around him is willing to help him in whatever ways it will take for him to get there.

I hope you can access the accommodations you hope to.  It will make a difference.

Correction:  Will your college consider offering you the special accommodations based on any less formal methods of diagnosis, or will they receive a medical evaluation?  I can definitely see where the accommodations you described would help you quite a bit.

Should read:  Will your college consider offering you the special accommodations based on any less formal methods of diagnosis, or will they require a medical evaluation?  I can definitely see where the accommodations you described would help you quite a bit.

My fingers are always way too far behind my thoughts.

Should read:  Will your college consider offering you the special accommodations based on any less formal methods of diagnosis, or will they require a medical evaluation?  I can definitely see where the accommodations you described would help you quite a bit.



The college requires documentation. You have to bring in papers that are on an official letterhead from an official doctor/psychologist.

I don't know if it is of any help for your decision, but I only found out about AS after I had my university degree (and doctorate) and had started working. I got a DX to help someone with a research project, and so far only have told about it: my wife, our children, and one ex-co-worker who got fired, I think because he's an aspie, too.

The choice is on you.

Btw, our daughter has a DX (ADHD), but she doesn't want anyone at school to know about it, although this means she doesn't get any special accommodations.

That's what I needed to avoid being sacked from my job and to get a few accommodations that enabled me to stay there and do work that I was able to perform instead of being expected to do things I was seriously having a strugggle with.

The diagnosis wasn't so much needed in school, but even then it might have been some help in explaining to the teachers my occasional flashes of weirdness.

Did you receive the accommodations?

I got some, such as not being expected to make or take a lot of phone calls. Noise remains a perennial issue but I suppose it is difficult for them to do much when things such as somebody putting on a fake telephone accent or talking or laughing loudly or clearing their throat a lot go on.

It's also true that I'm often the last to know what is going on and it would be nice to told more than I am but I also sense that efforts are being made to keep me more in the loop than before.

Overall, I think it was well worthwhile to have an official diagnosis, even if mainly for peace of mind - to know I wasn't insane, lazy or morally impaired.

That's great!!! Who is the little girl in the picture? Noise, is also an issue at my job, it gives me lots of headaches, and anxiety, but I can't tell them this. I'm very, very high functioning, if I am autistic, and I feel extremely silly continuously going on about it, but I can't get rid of the obsession until I fulfill something.