Aspies For Freedom

You have not read my Pm's now or in the past have you?
If you are not wanting to listen or believe our response why ask the questions?

Might count for more than you imagine.

Hmmmm....Batman why does that sound familiar I wonder?

I wonder who the alpha males with unlimited confidence are here.
****Put your hand down Ian****
Besides Ian. I do not know anyone else that fees like this. (No Ian I am not having a dig)

I know I struggle with poor esteem and under confidence.
Look at this portion of a PM to Flardox (Much like the next post I did to you before you find favouritism or what have you)

"Not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

I really hope you all realise what your unexpected show of support means to me. Very humbling.

Irrespective of what I inevitably will always do and the persona I do put out there, it does actually matter to me that people here think well of me despite all my obvious shortcomings.

It always suprises me and embarrasses me when I hear nice things or others defending me."

1000 posts!!!! Yay Soccerfreak.

to be totaly honest batman, i have on more than one occasion, wondered "where is batman, i wonder what he thinks about this". im serious, i actually feel left out when you dont comment on my threads.

There is three people like that who are regular posters that I look out for and thoroughly enjoy and am delighted when I see them. Pakrat, Tigger and Batman. Sure I like other posters but I can almost always agree with them and they post often and very wisely.

I feel as if I'm quite low down in the pecking order.

I don't post as much as my reading and typing skills aren't the best.
And because of this I don't think I have a particularly strong presence in the forum.

I also feel as if I've got myself into a lot of trouble recently on the forum (partly of my own making) which has damage my status and made me fall down the pecking order somewhat.

You have the biggest heart here QD
You are much loved (said in a big manly way you understand)

Ditto what Bella said about comparing yourself to others.  

So soldier boy claimed to be a military man... that doesn't mean all autistic people are going to thrive in the army.  No two people on the spectrum have an identical skills set, so just because one did well at something, doesn't mean we all will.   That's not just an Aspie thing - for instance, one person who uses a wheelchair might be able to walk unaided with enough physiotherapy, while for another physio would just aggravate their condition and cause pain.  That doesn't mean the second person isn't "trying hard enough" - it means they're facing a totally different situation that just happens to look the same from a distance.

Ethel I just read your post and i may be wrong but I think I may be madly in love with you.

You are dead right and you remind me of Mahler in the way you post. I Love Mahler and thereby you too.

I am so glad you got brave and came back

Love (for stir-up value) Rossco

And I'm very flattered to be compared to you, Mahler!

It's also very, very dangerous to compare yourselves to other people you only know online.  Two reasons: 1.  They might be telling a pack of lies.  

And 2.  You don't get the full story.  I'm sure if you pieced together all my posts on here, you'd not get a good snapshot of what my life was like.  I probably come across like I've got a lot more Aspie-related problems than I really do. It's not that I'm exaggerating it or anything, it's just that in real life, all the Aspie stuff I talk about here is diluted with a lot of more 'normal' stuff that I don't talk about because it's not relevant.  So it probably looks impressive that I live alone and work full-time, but the actual challenges I face are probably not as great as a lot of other AFF-ers.

How the hell do you classify a "worse" disability, anyway?  I mean, yes, missing a leg is more inconvenient than missing a toe, but how do you compare deafness with autism?  Or diabetes versus dyslexia?  It goes back to the invisible disability thing - 'well, I can't SEE anything wrong with you...'

Me to. I had another aspie telling me the other day he was more highly functioning neurologically than I was. I laughed and basically said. "Hey 99% of humanity are more high functioning than either of us and you think we in the bottom 1% ought to haggle about it. You probably are - call it a big win for you"

I do OK. I used to beat myself up how I would try my hardest and never feel like I "made the grade". Now I know I am gentler on myself. I try my hardest and get by and do not beat myself up over it. I will never be as socially competent, for example, as those around me. That does not matter as I will be as competent as I can be. Those friends of mine who know me understand and understand and respect how I am.

I am not weird I am just Rossco to them. I have often heard them explain to others "That's just Rossco" in a way that is both dismissive of the enquiry and of no importance to them. It is evident they do not mind my being me and do look for ways they can help me out and make things easier for me. I am usually embarrassed and touched by their efforts.

I have finally learned to cut myself a biit of slack and appreciate myself a little. Many years to get there though.

Ha... I know a radio presenter who was told she didn't "sound pregnant".