05-27-2008, 01:05 PM
05-29-2008, 07:32 PM
my aspie son is 11 and in a middle school environment - I have read and can see that this age group is really confused and confusing to aspies- I don't know what my sons hormones will do to him or how it might affect how he acts or reacts - but I think he will avoid the peer pressure feeling. He has increasingly become aware of being left out -and can't escape or ignore bullying verbally when it will or does come right for him. It is a bad thing that some teens seem to think they can make themselves feel better by putting someone else down - or who won't talk about subjects they know they like (out in public or at at school) becasue they have no confidence that they will be accepted - or want to avoid being picked on -they care so much about fitting in and trying to not stick out. My son cares about people in general and wants people to be nice but he is not willing or able to change to make people act like they like him. (Me either for that matter- but this is more typical of my age group I think) Anyone that he has to "act" with ior "hide" hsi interests from in order to be friends he thinks (correctly) is not worth it and not a true friend.
True friends are hard to come by in this age group.
I also hear/read high school is better in some ways ...
True friends are hard to come by in this age group.
I also hear/read high school is better in some ways ...
06-02-2008, 12:44 AM
I went to an all-geek NT middle and high school and I was the only AS kid as far as I could tell. So the kids had pretty much the same values as a lot of the AS people on this board. We hated bullying and teasing. No one was into content-less social conversation, no real cliques, no one did sports, we didn't have girly-girls, or macho guys. We were all pretty much against emotional or non-logic based thinking.
So using the literal definition of AS and NT teens, the only difference between me and my NT schoolmates were that they were a lot more brave socially than me and braver in volunteering their opinions in class and they had larger numbers of friends (I just had one). Some of the more neurotic NT kids had the same kind of quirks as me. So not much difference. On the other hand, if you want to talk about the difference between mainstream NT teens and AS teens, that's a whole other ballgame...
So using the literal definition of AS and NT teens, the only difference between me and my NT schoolmates were that they were a lot more brave socially than me and braver in volunteering their opinions in class and they had larger numbers of friends (I just had one). Some of the more neurotic NT kids had the same kind of quirks as me. So not much difference. On the other hand, if you want to talk about the difference between mainstream NT teens and AS teens, that's a whole other ballgame...
07-23-2008, 04:32 PM
For the most part, NT teens are obsessed with pop culture, fawn over celebrities, and try to get through all the bases as early in life as possible. For those reasons, many NT teens seem really immature to me, even if they're either my age or older than me! I can't really judge all autistic teens, but as for me, I don't really pay much attention to pop culture and I focus on my special interests instead of fawning over celebrities and getting through the bases.
07-23-2008, 05:40 PM
Luai_lashire Wrote:
Johanna Wrote:
For the most part, NT teens are obsessed with pop culture, fawn over celebrities, and try to get through all the bases as early in life as possible. For those reasons, many NT teens seem really immature to me, even if they're either my age or older than me! I can't really judge all autistic teens, but as for me, I don't really pay much attention to pop culture and I focus on my special interests instead of fawning over celebrities and getting through the bases.
Nearly all my friends are NTs, and NONE of them is like that. This is a gross over-generalization. Sure, there are tons of people like this, and the majority of them must be NT because autistics are less than 1% of the population; but that doesn't mean that the majority of NTs are like this. One could also say that the majority of football players are NT, but that doesn't mean the majority of NTs are football players.
I don't believe this is an issue of NT vs AS. I think it's an issue of mainstream vs non-mainstream ideals and goals. The above description of "NT teens" describes to me teens who want to be considered mainstream. Plenty of NTs don't want to be mainstream, however, and even some autistics do want to be mainstream.
Even that is an over-simplification, though.
Exactly. NT is not the same as mainstream. Also, what is mainstream depends on your school, your age, your country perhaps.
Even if you think someone is very average, typical or mainstream it doesn't mean you know their nuerotype is neurotypical. Even if you could do a brain scan and KNOW someone was an NT, they maybe as likely to be interested in the same things as you but are just pretending to be mainstream or the same just to fit in.
Everyone needs ot be able to not be judged by what phase they are in and at what age. It sometimes takes more than maturity (it can take guts) to not worry about what others are doing and do your own thing. It also takes maturoty to be okay with people who take the road most traveled.
I was not obsessed or even mildly interested in pop culture. I don't mind that some are obsessed with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I am pretty obsessed with a couple of things as well.
I, like you, "stepped on the bases" on some life lessons as fast as I could, just to get them over with - like a scientific experiment - on my own terms. I think I was impatient to be older, just so that my thoughts, words, feelings, would be respected more. No matter what your nuerotype, it is tough to be a teen, many of what teens say is (wrongly) discounted.
07-23-2008, 08:53 PM
Luai_lashire Wrote:
atypical Wrote:
Luai_lashire Wrote:
Johanna Wrote:
For the most part, NT teens are obsessed with pop culture, fawn over celebrities, and try to get through all the bases as early in life as possible. For those reasons, many NT teens seem really immature to me, even if they're either my age or older than me! I can't really judge all autistic teens, but as for me, I don't really pay much attention to pop culture and I focus on my special interests instead of fawning over celebrities and getting through the bases.
Nearly all my friends are NTs, and NONE of them is like that. This is a gross over-generalization. Sure, there are tons of people like this, and the majority of them must be NT because autistics are less than 1% of the population; but that doesn't mean that the majority of NTs are like this. One could also say that the majority of football players are NT, but that doesn't mean the majority of NTs are football players.
I don't believe this is an issue of NT vs AS. I think it's an issue of mainstream vs non-mainstream ideals and goals. The above description of "NT teens" describes to me teens who want to be considered mainstream. Plenty of NTs don't want to be mainstream, however, and even some autistics do want to be mainstream.
Even that is an over-simplification, though.
Exactly. NT is not the same as mainstream. Also, what is mainstream depends on your school, your age, your country perhaps.
Even if you think someone is very average, typical or mainstream it doesn't mean you know their nuerotype is neurotypical. Even if you could do a brain scan and KNOW someone was an NT, they maybe as likely to be interested in the same things as you but are just pretending to be mainstream or the same just to fit in.
Everyone needs ot be able to not be judged by what phase they are in and at what age. It sometimes takes more than maturity (it can take guts) to not worry about what others are doing and do your own thing. It also takes maturoty to be okay with people who take the road most traveled.
I was not obsessed or even mildly interested in pop culture. I don't mind that some are obsessed with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I am pretty obsessed with a couple of things as well.
I, like you, "stepped on the bases" on some life lessons as fast as I could, just to get them over with - like a scientific experiment - on my own terms. I think I was impatient to be older, just so that my thoughts, words, feelings, would be respected more. No matter what your nuerotype, it is tough to be a teen, many of what teens say is (wrongly) discounted.
atypical, just to clarify a point here- I think when she was talking about "getting through the bases" she meant "First base, second base, third base, home base" as they are used to refer to increasing levels of sexual activity. I can't tell from your post whether you were aware of this or not, but I thought I would mention it in case *anyone* was confused.
Hmm, ah yes.. I know what she meant as the bases for NT's. I meant to portray that every person steps on some bases and they don't have to be sexual- they could be life lessons.