Aspies For Freedom

http://www.npr.org/templates/rundowns/ru...p?prgId=35

The podcast version should be up in a little while.  The part of interest is about 35 to 40 minutes into the show.

On NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! news quiz show, there was a quick piece about how some sociologist said people should go for the socially awkward choice and avoid the charming "self-monitored" kind.  The theory was that the self-monitored kind are very good at hiding their true personalities.

My take on this:
That's great for all of us geeks and nerds finding each other, but what about the wrong person taking that advice?  Within the sci-fi/Trekkie subculture, I've known couples in which somebody paired up with a nerd and then treat him like crap.

Yes, there would be some traps for the unwary. I think the main advantage of being with a nerd or geek is that they haven't had social opportunities handed to them on a platter so they tend to try harder. They also are more likely to be deep thinkers, dependable and not shallow and fickle.

My #1 rule when dating was to never date anyone in sales. They spend all day doing spin and obfuscation, and they don't stop just because they are off the clock. For what its worth ....

The nerd gets treated bad because the partner thinks they can change the nerd.  They will think that the nerd is just immature, needs to grow up, needs to stop their obsession/special interests.  They think that the nerd should change after they get married.  Usually they will only pick nerds with resources (ie money, good job etc) and try to mold them into someone they are not.  The nerd then becomes unhappy because they are being nagged constantly to change.   The renovation specialist (other person) gets frustrated and more abusive or gives up complaining that the nerd is distancing themselves emotionally from them.  Usually the renovations are not as intensive before marriage as after.