I don't know what is going on a lot of the time and I don't understand how TR means Tue and Thu.
So, I’m curious to know… am I the only one who doesn’t get what’s going on half the time in AFF?
Nope.
And I noticed resentment (not so much in response to my posts but with certain private and offsite messages I received), apparently because I have a fairly high level of function (i.e. working, driving, etc.) It's hard for me to understand...it's not like I'm the only one, and I didn't ask to be on the high-functioning end of things any more than I asked to have Asperger's in the first place - that's just how it happened. I can't help but feel angry and hurt when people belittle me, and even tell me that I'm not really an Aspie and that I'm "full of ----" because of the things I struggled very hard to accomplish. Maybe it's just an excuse for people to unload their bitterness onto me for some reason, I don't know. Maybe I'm easy to pick on because I'm new.
Okay, sorry, that had really been bothering me and this seemed like an appropriate place to get it off my chest...
Did you get mean PM's.
I had the same thing happen when I arrived - much along the same sort lines - based on things I struggled very hard to achieve. I think it was related to being new and being female.
I do get the impression from a couple of people that they think because they've "overcome" some of the issues related to autism, the rest of us should be able to do it too. There are any number of reasons why we don't eg. we don't see it as a problem, it would take up too much time and energy for an uncertain gain, we don't have the confidence or means to do so, etc.
Because we are getting new people all the time, it can be disorienting to miss a few weeks and then come back to find so many new threads but I think I've got a reasonable idea of what's going on in general.
I'm confused on here a lot of the time as well. I figured it was just because I was new.
I noticed the drama too but I try to steer clear, or at least out of the line of fire.
I've been accused in an offhand way of assuming I know what everyone's experience with Asperger's is. I never claimed any such thing. I relate by talking about experiences of mine that I think are relevant, that's all.
And I noticed resentment (not so much in response to my posts but with certain private and offsite messages I received), apparently because I have a fairly high level of function (i.e. working, driving, etc.) It's hard for me to understand...it's not like I'm the only one, and I didn't ask to be on the high-functioning end of things any more than I asked to have Asperger's in the first place - that's just how it happened. I can't help but feel angry and hurt when people belittle me, and even tell me that I'm not really an Aspie and that I'm "full of ----" because of the things I struggled very hard to accomplish. Maybe it's just an excuse for people to unload their bitterness onto me for some reason, I don't know. Maybe I'm easy to pick on because I'm new.
I'm guilty of the first thing, I'm sorry to be presumptuous on that. It was a mistake--I was feeling quite reactionary that day.
But I certainly hope I'm not the one you think has belittled you. In a private message I merely wrote that I was covetous of your gifts, I don't think I belittled you there.. did I?
I’ve been offline a lot recently and am having trouble reintegrating.
I feel very ‘out of it’…like I went away on holiday--returned home, only to find someone had redecorated the house in my absence.
Its a strange feeling.
Exactly my experience, QD! Thanks for starting this thread, silky! It's good to know we are not alone in our confusion and (in my case) disorientation. I can't quote everyone here, but Yes, I have been aware of some controversy, read the thread, and STILL didn't get it, or just could never find the relevant thread. I felt like I was part of a community, but then I went away for ten weeks (drummed out, really, it's not like it was voluntary, yeah, I was part of a bizarre controversy, where even though I was right in the middle of it, I still, STILL did not know what was going on!) Now I just can't seem to get back in, and find myself spending less and less time here, which is not what I want at all.
I’ve been offline a lot recently and am having trouble reintegrating.
I feel very ‘out of it’…like I went away on holiday--returned home, only to find someone had redecorated the house in my absence.
Its a strange feeling.
Exactly my experience, QD! Thanks for starting this thread, silky! It's good to know we are not alone in our confusion and (in my case) disorientation. I can't quote everyone here, but Yes, I have been aware of some controversy, read the thread, and STILL didn't get it, or just could never find the relevant thread. I felt like I was part of a community, but then I went away for ten weeks (drummed out, really, it's not like it was voluntary, yeah, I was part of a bizarre controversy, where even though I was right in the middle of it, I still, STILL did not know what was going on!) Now I just can't seem to get back in, and find myself spending less and less time here, which is not what I want at all.
I’ve been involved in some pretty bizarre and controversy stuff myself recently. I’ve been upsetting people left, right and centre--and I can’t honestly say I know what’s going on. Something has changed--perhaps its me. I feel weary, confused and very disorientated; and have started to wonder if I’m only coming here out of habit--not because I actually belong. I’m not getting anything positive out of the experience and find I want to be here less and less. Every time I log on there seems to another reason not to be here.
Thinking about it for a while, I've come to the conclusion that your older friends might have felt a little neglected. Whether this is a correct assessment, I can't be 100% sure, but that could be why some people got a bit cross.
Luv ya, Ducky!
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Seriously, sometimes I don't know what the hell is going on, especially when two people I like start flaming each other and then it's like.... "Wha...?!"
But something I found (esp. on other fora) is people rarely say bad stuff because they genuinely really truly don't like you. (this being the generic "you" not anyone in particular at all.) and that most real tensions are very temporary.
Occasionally only done in jest.
So yes it is upsetting when someone who you thought was your "friend" says something you may perceive as nasty, but generally the best course is to see what happens with time.
The day you take something seriously Quickduck, will be the day Satan gets his job upstairs back.
Take that as a compliment if you wish.
As I said, I am virtually Zorg in terms of my style of capitalism and sense of humour, QD.
My friends don't seem to want it any other way =p
Thinking about it for a while, I've come to the conclusion that your older friends might have felt a little neglected. Whether this is a correct assessment, I can't be 100% sure, but that could be why some people got a bit cross.
You’re probably correct Pakrat…
I made a couple of very good friends--but instead of stopping I tried to make more; but the demands on my time became so excessive that I started to neglect older friends in order to ‘solid up’ newer friendships.
This was a mistake…
I’m not good at keeping in contact with people at the best of times; and it takes me a long time to respond properly to anyone. I want to be friends with everyone--but in purely practical terms this is impossible.
Its understandable that my older friends might feel sidelined and upset.
Luv ya, Ducky!
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Seriously, sometimes I don't know what the hell is going on, especially when two people I like start flaming each other and then it's like.... "Wha...?!"
But something I found (esp. on other fora) is people rarely say bad stuff because they genuinely really truly don't like you. (this being the generic "you" not anyone in particular at all.) and that most real tensions are very temporary.
Occasionally only done in jest.
So yes it is upsetting when someone who you thought was your "friend" says something you may perceive as nasty, but generally the best course is to see what happens with time.
Luv ya too nyanchan!
I think in many ways I’ve been treating the forum too seriously--taking stuff too personally--and getting involved in arguments I had no right getting involved in.
This made me loose heart a little…
I notice you usually have the good sense to steer clear of controversy--you’re very wise to do so.
If I upset someone I see them being upset as a permanent state of affairs--when in fact…as you say… “most real tensions are very temporary”.
Well, a couple of months or so ago, I began to feel as if I were very much "yesterday's person", as if the new friends were more interesting than I ever could have been and therefore of more importance. Something has certainly been lost and I don't know if it will come back.
Hi Rossco, thanks. I don't think you are so grumpy. You've got a heart of gold, truly
I know what you mean. I am usually clueless to this type of thing, unless it involves direct insults or some such, something I don't often see here, with few exceptions. Most of the time the problems seem to come from misunderstanding each other's words, and/or having differing opinions and/or perceiving insults from the other.
I think a lot of it is in PMs that doesn't get posted on the forum, but IRL I have had a similar obliviousness to the conflicts between people, such as when I find out one day that two friends of mine haven't been willfully interacting with each other for a few months. I don't usually ask about cause. I just figure I'll let them work things out as they wish, and it's not much of any of my business.
And also the main way I identify posters is by the avatar or images / short quotes in signature - so a lot of times I don't know their screennames until I look at it, and I associate them with the pictures, which gives me a much better picture now of being able to visualize my concept of a poster, though at first it was pretty hectic, since I was connecting the names of some posters to the attributes of other posters.