Aspies For Freedom

I'm trying to figure out if my niece has AS.  I've noticed some of my symptoms in her, but a lot of differences too.  I can't find any tests for that age group.  What traits stood out for you at that age?

How was I different from others at that age...?

Had difficulty finishing homework, teachers said everything was fine when it really wasn't. I remember an aspie girls saying that too.

Was very philosophying and thinking of science I guess too, which I guess I often talked to with my dad about.

I wasn't, but then again I find myself as the the freak among aspies.

I was diagnosed at age 10. By age 12, I mostly talked about my interests, but since nobody was interested in the same things, I just mostly didn't talk at all at school. When in the classroom, when a question got asked, I would just immediately start answering it, whether it was right or wrong.

I didn't "get" a lot of the social "when you do this it really means this" type of things. I figure I say what I mean to say, and if people don't want to believe me and instead believe some imaginary interpretation of my body language, then fine. Let them. It doesn't really matter to me.

I didn't have really any friends, though some were nice to me - one boy and some girls in particular. I was bullied fairly much, though it was nothing compared to the violence I would face the next year in grade 7. Some boys ransacked my Egypt project the morning it was due, tearing apart some playdoh figures I had made, hiding the project so that I was scrambling around school when it was due.

One of the same boys would go after me in P.E., and one day he was yelling at me, saying, "What are you going to do about it, little girl?" (even though I was about 5 feet nine, only an inch or two shorter than him). I pushed him back with one hand into the mud and told him off, then used my foot to kick him to the other side. Thankfully, no other adult was there, though the humiliation in front of his fellow cronies caused him to back off from me.

Around 12 was when I started having seizures...which did nothing for my nonexistent popularity. Though actually I don't remember if I actually had any seizures at school then - I don't think it was until 13.

I actually was happily a loner - I really wasn't at all interested in making friends, I just wished that people wouldn't assault me or otherwise bully me so much, and what I really wished for was an ally, even if we weren't necessarily friends.

However, even while I was content to be alone, I was unhappy about many other things, including the bullying, and the fact that I couldn't seem to write in the dotted lines and the teacher was so frustrated with me for it, and I couldn't tell the differences between the proportions of the different parts of the letters.

So, I would cry a lot (ages 6-11), pretty much every day, and I would usually cite my lack of friends as the source of unhappiness, as that was what I figured would constitute a "normal" response. By age 12, after trying to compensate by giving what I thought were "normal" reasons, I felt disgusted with myself, felt that I had been living an awful lie.

I have a number of friends today, but I still like the life of a loner (as long as there isn't harrassment and such). Of course, there are many on the spectrum who do feel lonely when they are alone, and who would rather have friends than not at any given point.

I was very random, hyper, and LITERALLY in love with numbers! I didn't care much about fashion, as I dressed up in mostly my sister's and mother's old clothes. I got bullied a lot and only had 3 friends that I regularly sat with. I often wandered around the campus during breaktime, sometimes bothering a few people just to get attention. They probably thought I was erratic. But i didn't care what anyone thought of me. I continued on with my randomness and odd interests, but I gave myself a makeover, inside and out. I started dressing in very fashionable clothing. I even developed my own sense of style. I stopped nagging people to hang out with me, and luckily enough, I have a larger group of friends that sit with me on a daily basis. I expanded my interests and joined a few clubs at school, finding others with similar interests.

You can check the 16's and Under thread for more descriptions and insights of those who have been 12 not too long ago.

My mother claims I resembled Luna Lovegood.

Well, it's a lot of information.  It seems to have drifted off into a stream of consciousness group catharsis.  Not a bad thing, really.  I will definitely look through the 16 and under section.

What stands out to me as her least AS trait is that she is not quiet or shy.  She is very vocal, very talkative.  She also likes to be in control of the room.  (definitely an AS trait)  Some comments from my brother indicate she is becoming less social.  Maybe the condition is intensifying.

Thanks for the help.

"Condition is intensifying"?

Funny way to look at it.

Mostly shy and very much into my own interests and fantasies eg. drawing, painting, and reading. But at the same time, very interested in social justice and with a tendency sometimes to rush in where angels fear to tread. I probably had very little theory of mind OR self-awareness at that age.

One thing that really stands out at that age is I really feared going through adolescence. I showed the first signs then and didn't want to turn into a woman because in my mind that meant there wouldn't be any more fun in life - wouldn't be able to climb trees and would be expected to be too responsible. At the same time, I really wanted to marry a nice man and have four kids.

I was still very interested in catching tadpoles and insects and caterpillars (a long standing early interest). One day, I made a small toy boat and was floating it in the gutter after heavy summer rain. A school mate said I shouldn't be "wasting time playing" and should go back home and help mum with my younger brothers and sister.
Part of the reason I went out was to get away from all the noise and be on my own but I felt so embarrassed I returned home.

Dad and I would have lots of conversations about social justice, politics and history as we would go for long walks but he said I should make more of an effort to "get on with" kids of my own age. In some ways I did, as friends and I would go on "adventures" - rock climbing and making cubbies and so on.

My parents talked about sending me away to boarding school the following year but I begged them not to as I didn't want to leave home.

Not yet, but my family never knew with me.  It caused me a huge amount of trouble.  I still have a poor relationship with them because of it.  I'm wondering if knowing would be better for its own sake.  Especially, before she gets to high school.

Yeah, probably. I have a niece whose nearly 12 and her parents are taking her for testing for Aspergers later this year (given she has some traits and there is a family history of the condition).

She actually likes me, even though I'm often fairly antisocial in real life.

At 12, I had little self awareness and probably had the social maturity of a 7 year old. I would do silly things like sending notes around and got into trouble for bringing dolls to school (I used to line them up on my desk).

Among other things, I had a fascination with cemeteries and would have thought it cool to live in a funeral home.

Yes, a hearse would be cool. Btw, I notice in recent times that not all hearses are black. They also come in silver, blue, and purple.

At twelve I was just short of becoming self-aware...

Childhood was a hard time for me, especially at school. I was probably the most bullied kid there, but I enjoyed my time alone. I spent a lot of time drawing or being outside; whatever happened that day at school didn't matter.