My wife has told me that she had cyber sex with another man. We have been married for 9 years. She said that it is not cheating talking about sex or feelings for another. I think that it is unfaithful and dis loyal to me.
They have spoken about turning each other on and winding each other up talking about sex and sex dreams. I have told her to move out, am I being unfair? Sorry I am new to this but feel like no one understands me, feel different to everyone else maybe I am unfair. She said my aut is making me see this unclearly. Is it dis loyal? Be please with your views.
No, you're not overreacting, Brown Beard. It is cheating and has resulted in as much of a rift as if she had actually met this man in person.
She probably knows deep down she has made a mistake and is being defensive as a result.
No, I don't think you are being unfair at all but I wonder if it is worth asking her why she felt she had to do it.
Isn't it just a bit like using porn, but a bit more interactive?
Sweeping gender-based generalisation alert here but: How would the males on this forum feel if all the women threw them out because they looked at Playboy or watched a blue movie whatever and used that as a masturbation aid?
While admittedly cyber-sex is a bit more interactive, it's not necessarily infidelity.
I guess it depends...
I'm sorry, brown beard, but Sarah is right. Unless your wife is devastated at the thought of losing you, voluntarily suggests that she will give up chatrooms, and says truthfully that she is ashamed at what she did - and you feel you can believe her - then it is over.
If she DOES do all of the above of her own accord then your relationship might have a chance. Trust can be re-built if both parties work at it. You would have to ask yourself why she felt so alienated from you that she was tempted in the first place. She would have to ask herself why she wanted to take the dangerous route of a cyber relationship rather than talking to you openly about what was troubling her.
It is important to you both that she realise that hinting at problems doesn't work. No man is a mind-reader, and an autistic one isn't a body-language reader either.
I hope you two can work things out, just as I hoped that Sarah's relationship would recover, just as I have known relationships to recover from infidelity of any kind but sometimes the relationship is doomed long before any infidelity takes place. Then the infidelity isn't the cause of the split but an indication that, in the mind of the cheater, the relationship is already over.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/bloodninja
Read this and I bet you'll get the picture.
A single friend of mine has been flurting with a married guy on this site and yes they have discussed sex. I have told her not to get involved but has taken no notice of me. Thanks to a very kind lady I know here I now have his address. I have print outs of what she has shown me that they have both written this was posted at the weekend for his wife. she should know as I doubt that he has told her. I know that I am probably in the wrong but after reading your stories I really felt for her. I know I am wrong.
Well, I guess everyone will take notice of you now.
I'm a little worried this post relates to me.
I got into a conversation with someone that started turning into cybersex….
But I told the lady in question that we should stop talking about sex because I was married etc.
And now we are just friends...
But there's a lot of stuff we spoke about that could really damage my relationship if even my wife were to read it. I already told my wife part of what happened...
I know there are people on AFF who have my address; I really hope this doesn't relate to me.
The worse thing is (if it is me)--I was the one who stopped it.
Although I did let it go too far--I behaved honourable…
But there were enough messages sent to make my wife think there was more going on.
I've never been so worried in my life.
It makes little difference whether or not I stopped it…
A few messages read out of context is all it would take.
The suspicion of infidelity is enough to get me hung.
Just in case this does relate to me; I’ve now told my wife everything--and although she’s not happy its not going to come between us.
Well, I notice this K T seems not to have come back so it was probably someone's idea of a sick joke...
yes, it was probably a sick joke...
I’ve never given my address to anyone I don’t trust.
I guess the guilt I felt about the situation made me a little paranoid.
At least now its all out in the open…
And I don’t have to worry about what’s coming through the door.
Oh, and by the way…I’ve agreed with my wife that if anything does turn up in the post--we shall be taking it to the police and seeking prosecution under Cyberstalking & Harassment laws.
http://www.wiredsafety.org/gb/stalking/
A single friend of mine has been flurting with a married guy on this site and yes they have discussed sex. I have told her not to get involved but has taken no notice of me. Thanks to a very kind lady I know here I now have his address. I have print outs of what she has shown me that they have both written this was posted at the weekend for his wife. she should know as I doubt that he has told her. I know that I am probably in the wrong but after reading your stories I really felt for her. I know I am wrong.
Hey Everyone,
I now know the origin of the post by K…T.
The threat contained within the post was directed specifically to me.
But the allegations of information sharing…and of a “very kind lady” giving out my address were lies.
I would therefore like to apologise to all my online friends for thinking any of you would have given out my address…I should have known better.
I would also like to apologise to the lady got into this sex chat with—I knew in my heart I could trust her…but my guilt and paranoia concerning this situation made me imagine a cause of events that could never truly have happened.
I’ve lost a very valued friend because of this—maybe several.
I doubt I’m going to be online much anymore—if indeed at all.
Look after each other…
All the best,
QD.
I would also report this to one of the admin/mods (sorry EvilZ I've been giving you more work!) so that they can block the IP or something of K...T.
No prob - I've been puzzling over if or how I can do anything. Quickduck's a huge asset to the site, and it would be a shame to see him vanish over the antics of an unconscionable stalker...
Thanks for your concern Ocampo and Zackie.
But I've found out the post was made by one of my wife's friends.
Take care.
Who necrobumped this one?