My wife has told me that she had cyber sex with another man. We have been married for 9 years. She said that it is not cheating talking about sex or feelings for another. I think that it is unfaithful and dis loyal to me. They have spoken about turning each other on and winding each other up talking about sex and sex dreams. I have told her to move out, am I being unfair? Sorry I am new to this but feel like no one understands me, feel different to everyone else maybe I am unfair. She said my aut is making me see this unclearly. Is it dis loyal? Be please with your views.
Thank you for your comments. She did not openly tell me. I heard it from her friend and then asked her. She has feelings for this guy and it hurts. I feel that she is not committed to our relationship.
I do love her. I may not always show it but I do love her loads.
Dude, she must terminate the relationship with thus guy or else you risk her running off with him, if she refuses, divorce her. It is being unfaithful and it is absolutely wrong, WRONG.
LC
I would say you have every right to end your relationship immediately. If you don't want to do that, you could try methods such as disallowing her from internet access. The problem with this is it means you'd be continuing in a relationship that was more militant than loving and trusting.
Thank you for your comments. I do still love her but feel used. I could not say do not use the internet as that would be unfair, who am I to tell her what to do. If she tells me she has cut contact and tries to work it out, i will, as I love her loads but she has got to be honest with me. I am hoping in time I will learn the trust back. I need her to tell me what she REALLY WANTS and no more lies.
thank you for your comments, they have helped me through the last day or so. For me even talking about sex between another other than your partner, discussing any kind of dreams etc is a form of being unfaithful. Just hoping that she will want to work at the relationship or at least explain why she did this. I will in time trust her again if she can be honest. If it was just the two of us it would be easier.
Yes I have a 7 year old boy, so I have to consider him to.
The lies hurt, if she had told me herself I am sure we could have worked this out. I love her so will give it my all to work this out and for my son. Personally believe its always best to come clean whatever as you always get found out at some point and firmly believe that. It may hurt, be hard but will be able to be worked out, and you can't carry on a relationship with anything that is moraly wrong it is dis respectful to the other. Your comments are seeing me through this tought time, may sincere thanks.
Okay, so almost everyone here knows what's going on in my life, but brownbeard- THIS IS A WAKEUP CALL.
1. She's looking elsewhere.
2. She doesn't seem to care about your feelings/thoughts/morals.
3. She's having ANY kind of affair with someone else.
4. She insinuates on any level that he is better than you or that you were not enough of anything.
Not trying to be harsh here... but it sounds like its over. Having just been through a similar situation, I REALLY wish someone had been able to get this through my denial-thick skull... but you don't realy want to stay with someone who is willing to do all of that- to hurt you... and then not seem to care to much when you confront her.
Maybe I'm reading a whole lot into this... For all intensive purposes, ask her what she wants, trust your gut if she says, "I want to work this out" but you know that it means, "I want to make my cake and eat it too.". Guard your heart. If you think she genuinely wants to be committed to you in the relationship and really truly wants to make things work and get some counseling- go for it.
I got the 'You're an aspie so you're overreacting/misunderstanding" bit too. It hurts- AND ITS COMPLETELY WRONG. Being an aspie/autie changes nothing about what they did. Don't allow yourself to believe it, that is a dark road and it seems like you are a genuine, good person and YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Don't continue to be used. Cut your losses and find someone who can be a human being and treat you like a human being.
{yes, I'm still angry}
I am sorry that you have gone through the same. I hope that things are now on the up for you. I just cant give up on her but my brain says how can I trust her. Its so confusing. Dont understand why she did it and how she can say she loves me.
My wife has told me that she had cyber sex with another man. We have been married for 9 years. She said that it is not cheating talking about sex or feelings for another. I think that it is unfaithful and dis loyal to me. They have spoken about turning each other on and winding each other up talking about sex and sex dreams. I have told her to move out, am I being unfair? Sorry I am new to this but feel like no one understands me, feel different to everyone else maybe I am unfair. She said my aut is making me see this unclearly. Is it dis loyal? Be please with your views.
ok what is cyber sex i heard of it but dont understand it at all seem very abstrac and hard to understand
I just hope that the wife doesn't know where your friend lives tbh...
all i ask was what is cyber sex .can someone tell me what that is .i being an autti havbent delt with that sex in reallity so online sex seem even more strange then with another person .oh life on the asd is so fun sometimes not .im not really into alot of the adult stuff you guys talk about i dont really undretsand realship like that way mine are more just friendship
Oh, and by the way…I’ve agreed with my wife that if anything does turn up in the post--we shall be taking it to the police and seeking prosecution under Cyberstalking & Harassment laws.
http://www.wiredsafety.org/gb/stalking/
Good for you. Think its just a sick windup. Although I PMed EvilZ about it anyway.
QD - I wouldn't like to see you go just because of some sh*tstirrer's little mindgames.
They're not worth it. True friends understand why you would have lashed out at them, or anyone, in any way. It can't be easy going through that kind of thing.
I would really love to see you back here
I would also report this to one of the admin/mods (sorry EvilZ I've been giving you more work!) so that they can block the IP or something of K...T.
Oh... some people are just beyond... god knows. Why not just say to you directly? Sorry but I think thats really cruel to play that kind of head game, even though you were in the wrong.
I do hope you come back QD.