Aspies For Freedom

Hello folks!  I am new to these forums, and really stumbled across them, and I am glad I did.  Just for a lil background here, I have recently been engaged to a Loving woman, who has a 5 year old autistic son.  The kid is great, he's loving and very smart.  He loves to draw, and I mean LOVES to draw .  He has his hang ups here and there, but my fiancee enrolled him into early intervention programs, and they have helped immensly!

I see on this forum some of you are against a cure for Autism as it were.  I can understand why, as to it is part of who you are, and I respect that, but my fiancee and I are trying to make the best life for him that we can.  He is actually getting ready to start Kindergarden next year!  I hope I do not offend anyone or step on anyones toes with my views, because I truly do not intend too.

My real reason for joining is to gain a better understanding on him as far as how he thinks etc etc, I am sure all of you know what I am talking about.  I may from time to time ask how some of you handled these things or how you would due to you have gone through it.  Any info any of you could provide or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

I look forward to chatting with the rest of you here in the community!  Stay safe everyone!!

A.R.S.

Oh, I agree 100% he seems to understand alot more now.  As of the past year or so, he would only eat a few things like chicken Nuggets and macaroni and cheese.  and the occassional poptart.  Well, the other half has been in and out of the hospital, and he has been with the baby sitter alot as of late, and has developed more tastes for things, which is awesome.  He has a thing for firefighters and fire trucks.  I think he wants to be just like his new daddy!!

I'm soooo proud of him, he has come such a long way since his mother and I got together.  Thanks for the reply Pakrat!!

I personally believe that children are born without hatred and prejudice, and it grows into them with time. When I was in kindergarten and first grade, everyone knew I was different, but all of my classmates simply thought I was smart, and no one had a problem with me. It wasn't until I was at least nine years old that people started treating my difference like a negative.

So what I'm saying here is that, while explaining his difference to him is important, you certainly do not want to make him think that all other kids will mock him or that he should avoid becoming close with ordinary people. You can help him to cope with negative treatment when the time comes (and, sadly, it will come), but, for now, I would suggest encouraging him to make new friends and not fear the potential consequences.

Also, teach him how to type and make him come here.

Most vividly, I recall being ridiculed openly for my lack of willingness to interact with imbeciles and my unnatural intelligence. Some people of about my age have been known to do things such as ask me for help on their homework (i.e. have me do all of it for them) and, upon being rejected, walk around with a strange gait and a furrowed brow saying, "Oh, I'm Jason, and I hate everyone and think I'm too good to act like a normal person! Watch me hide in a corner at a party and glare at people whenever they try to talk to me."

Of course, you shouldn't worry about your child being subjected to those horrors in kindergarten. As I mentioned earlier, only adolescents and near-adolescents are capable of that level of intolerance, bigotry, and hatred.

Wow, thats a big quote LOL, I agree with you 100% on what you said.  I do not agree at all with the ways some people look at "curing" it either.  Thats really the reason she put him into intervention classes (To help him grow more).  We are definetly doing all we think we can for him

Hello All,

I recently joined to hopefully learn more about autism. I have a 4.5 year old on the spectrum. He was dx'ed two years ago. I also have a almost 6 year old typical son.  I find I learn more about ASD's from those on the spectrum so I thought this would be a great place to be !
My son is in Early intervention programs. He has had great progresss in the last two years (when he was diagnosed). He communicates mostly with PECs and sign language . He does through out some words here and there and is doing that more frequently. We are in high hopes that he will talk again  - he lost his language at about 20 months.
Well, that is my background. Hopefully I can gain some info on how to get my typical 5 yr old to better understand his brother. He knows all the basics and did tell his Kindergarten class about his brother's diagnosis and what autism is. He also asked if they had questions I got all this from report from his teacher and was amazed that he did all that.
My boys really just starting playing together but its difficult for my oldest to relate so if anyone has any advice for me I would appreciate any thanks

I suppose this would be a good time to introduce myself. I am the mother of the 5 year old boy and the fiancee of firefighter119. He's the one who found these forums and sent me the link. It really makes me happy that he is so determined to find ways to relate to "our" child and to understand him better. When I read his post I actually got a little misty-eyed. I had pretty much given up on finding a good man that will love my child as much as I do. I'd rather stay single forever than settle for a jerk that keeps my son at arm's length.

I am so glad he found this place. From what I've seen so far, autism doesn't have to be treated like some kind of terrible defect that has to be overcome. I've seen it countless times: the awkward look of pity on the face of a person who I've just told about my son. I have to admit, when he was diagnosed I cried my eyes out. I was so worried for him. I was afraid he would never have a happy and full life and not be able to really connect with people. All I could imagine was that he would be treated like a freak by other kids. But now I see that he's just my smart and sweet little boy. He is not defective. And it gets less challenging every day for me because he is communicating so much better now. Let me tell you, when he was 2 and 3 it was awful. He didn't talk, except for baby words, and he could never tell me what was wrong. He would hurt himself because he was so frustrated that I couldn't understand him. I used to have to hold him in my arms or hold him down because he would get so violent. Now he is speaking in sentences and he can finally tell me he loves me. The first time he did that was truly the best day of my life.

I can't even pretend to understand what life is like for a person with autism. I can only hope to learn as much as I possibly can so I can be a good mother to my child. Sorry about the long post. Anyway, I look forward to visiting these forums and getting to know you all through your posts. And maybe I'll learn a thing or two.

Do you mind if I ask - did your son always talk. My son lost language, I know some just talk late. He is 4.5 and just starting to say a couple things again. We just hope he talks again - I dont care about the diagnosis. He's come a long way and is so smart - he's a year ahead of his classmates academically. I'm glad I stumbled onto this place too.

I know what you mean about some people. I actually dont talk to a friend of mine anymore since she started acting differently around my son after I told her like he become a ten headed alien or something.  

[quote=Babykin]
I suppose this would be a good time to introduce myself. I am the mother of the 5 year old boy and the fiancee of firefighter119. He's the one who found these forums and sent me the link. It really makes me happy that he is so determined to find ways to relate to "our" child and to understand him better. When I read his post I actually got a little misty-eyed. I had pretty much given up on finding a good man that will love my child as much as I do. I'd rather stay single forever than settle for a jerk that keeps my son at arm's length.

Hi Breeze,

You can ask me anything, I don't mind at all. My son was never much of a talker. I think he started saying the baby words around 15 months. So from 15 months until he was around 3, that was all he could say. It's gotten much better since then and is now speaking in sentences. He never really "lost" speech at any point. He just didn't have the ability until he started going to Early Intervention and speech therapy.

Has your son had any speech therapy? And does he go to a regular school? If you don't mind me asking, that is..

My son starting talking at 11months but it wasnt baby talk . He was in Birth to 3 (early intervention) He started there at 2.5 right before we got a diagnosis. He was diagnosed two years ago this month. He got speech /occupational therapy. They started ABA a few months later so he did that for a couple months before he was aged out of Birth to 3. He started at the public school at 3 in the autism program. He gets speech/occupational therapy and ABA. I also bring him for an hour of speech therapy and an hour of OT outside of the school at a private place that he just loves. He actually imitated some words for that speech therapist yesterday. I'm just hoping he'll talk soon. Its all random and he'll go days without saying anything. If he talks we'll be fine with everything else. Its the not knowing that kills us. OH and you can ask me anything.
Hi Breeze,

You can ask me anything, I don't mind at all. My son was never much of a talker. I think he started saying the baby words around 15 months. So from 15 months until he was around 3, that was all he could say. It's gotten much better since then and is now speaking in sentences. He never really "lost" speech at any point. He just didn't have the ability until he started going to Early Intervention and speech therapy.

Has your son had any speech therapy? And does he go to a regular school? If you don't mind me asking, that is..
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Thanks I actually have been reading for a week before I joined -a friend sent me the link for AFF to show me the autism speaks suing someone thread. I found it interesting and informative to read the posts so thought I"d make it official and join

Thanks for the welcome, Ocampo.

Breeze - I really hope your son's speech improves. I remember how it felt when my little one could only say baby words. I was anxious about it all the time. I agree with what someone said somewhere else in these forums - it gets better with age.

Thank you and when it does I'll be sure to tell you He is definately progressing in the  last two years - he is only 4 and I know my nephew is like my son in many ways. He's not on the spectrum but some things are just kids -- so its good to see someone two months apart in age and say "oh ok that is just a 4 year old".

Thank you for the kind words. It's a real pleasure to be here.

I would advise you that you can't possibly do everything - impossible standard

But I also work with children who have autism and I toss-n-turn all night with the worry that I didn't do enough today.