How do I get a parent to understand that I just hit meltdown (For me I just lose my ability to speak) involuntarily, and they need to shut up and listen? Somehow, a variant of "shut the ---- up" doesn't seem like it would yield a positive result. Mom gets way too emotional sometimes...
Knowledge is power. If your Mom knows why you meltdown, she'll be able to let you do your thing and then you can (hopefully) discuss it afterwards.
Ask her to read some of the books or educational materials on the subject.
If she don't know why you blow then nowhere you go.
If you can, you need to work out some sort of signal BEFORE you meltdown. It would be best to decide on it with your mom; then if you are so far gone you can't give the signal clearly, she'll at least have a clue as to what you're trying to tell her. Could be some sort of hand movement, like finger in front of your mouth, or maybe even a written card you could hand her (but you'd have to have that available all the time).
Alli
I was kind of confused yesterday, as when I was experiencing a bit of meltdown yesterday where it was crowded at the film showing, and I wasn't responding verbally and was confused in my movements, that later in the car I got asked why, what was happening. I didn't know how to explain; I was still tired and was caught off-guard that they didn't immediately recognize what was going on.
If you can, you need to work out some sort of signal BEFORE you meltdown. It would be best to decide on it with your mom; then if you are so far gone you can't give the signal clearly, she'll at least have a clue as to what you're trying to tell her. Could be some sort of hand movement, like finger in front of your mouth, or maybe even a written card you could hand her (but you'd have to have that available all the time).
Alli
What about when it happens so suddenly you don't get to make the signal?
a variant of "shut the ---- up" doesn't seem like it would yield a positive result
I don't think it'll help you to know that I have exactly the same problem with my wife (I'm 37) and I still haven't worked it out.
From time to time, I'm able to "catch" myself, using stims.
I like Allivymar's suggestion, of trying to work out a hand signal in advance, although I do understand Pakrat's concern.
From my perspective as a parent, I can tell when my son is IN a meltdown, it is when he is headed towards one and needs help preventing it that I need to be informed. He is very good at simply saying, "mom, I'm about to flip out," and I have found that very self-insightful and mature of him. A lot can be prevented by knowing when he needs that extra consideration and attention.
I guess it all depends on how good the other person is at reading the signs once one is IN meltdown. Still, thinking about what kind of signal or indication you could convey in that state, that the person close to you will be able to read, seems like a good idea.
I hope your mother is understanding. The more she can know in advance of how you act when in meltdown state, and the more she can learn to look for the signs, the better off both of you will be, it seems to me.
I think people don't always see the signs that I am about to "blow" even though I feel as if I am giving off plenty of signals that they shouldn't push me any further.
I'd say it's just one of those "Knowledge is power" type of situations. If your mother is unaware of what happens, then she can't figure out what's going on. Also, it could be that she's reacting to her emotions too much like you stated. It would be frustrating to her, and then she wouldn't be thinking rationally.
Kind of a tricky situation, but I think your best bet is to educate her on the subject, as calmly as possible.
The trouble is once my mom finds out how to get someone really pissed - she enjoys using that ability.
So I wouldent even let my parents know.
I wondered occasionally if mum kind of liked winding me up but surely she wouldn't have?