Aspies For Freedom

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=7746

The rest of the thread might also be of interest to you.

Maybe you could tell your reasons to come out?

I dunno.  I wonder what would happen if you mentioned that an Aspie might be employed there and ask how they would feel about that.  But really, I have no clue how people in your office would react. I don't know how people in MY office would.

If you tell one or two people, there's a chance that it'll get around, with no control over how the info is transmitted.  I kind of like Silky's suggestion. One question I'd have is how sensitive to "boundary issues" are your co-workers?  What I mean is--to what extent do they distance themselves emotionally from the "special needs" people?  How safe do you feel there?

There's also the approach of trying to work out disconnects and differences with people one individual at a time. It may take some getting used to your style of interaction. I don't know what that is for you--for me, it has meant people getting used to me being very direct, but not mean.

Hi Janet
Welcome to AFF, by the way.
Good luck with your workplace.  Since you're new, it may take time to figure out whom among your coworkers you'll find to be supportive.  Meanwhile, keeping a low profile might be good.  I think that each workplace has a culture, oftentimes set by the leadership style of the head honchoes.  Hopefully they will value competence.

Just press the reply button and then erase the bits you don't want to include from the post. Leave the parts you see in brackets at the beginning and end.  In this case, I left in at the beginning  {quote=Janet}  and at the end {/quote}

I work in a government office too, but now a number of people know I have Aspergers. I think they can be uncomfortable about it as things had got quite bad in the period just before I was diagnosed a few years ago. I certainly haven't received more than a very small minority of outwardly negative responses. I don't know how much I'm talked about behind my back, though.

I do think there is something quite wrong with a workplace where people are scared to say they have a condition such as Asperger's and think it could lead to their getting the sack and/or bullied.

I work in a nerd-friendly, quirk-friendly, pretty live-and-let-live environment, and I'm a longstanding employee with tons of that "institutional memory" that some people appreciate.  Compared to many people there, my social skills look pretty decent.  And I did the coming-out in a low key kind of way, by embedding it into a context in which it made sense (e.g. a talk about meeting challenges related to career, and why I decided various roads to take). Knowing that I'm generally held in positive regard (I think) made it feel safe enough.  And honestly, I think it went right on over most peoples' heads. We have a lot of people from different countries in my workplace.  I did, though, have one guy come talk with me about his brother, who'd been recently diagnosed with AS.  

Basically, I think it comes down to a question of self-confidence (can you cope with any potential fallout?), a decision about how personal you're willing to get (it IS pretty personal, and some workplaces don't encourage personal sharing), and a commitment to being "out there", on the odd chance that it might be helpful (e.g. people might be more tolerant, stereotypes get questioned, etc).

Yes, it wouldn't sit well with me to pretend I had absolutely no issues with noise, rapid change, and negotiating interpersonal relationships. At the same time, I wouldn't want to harp on these things too much as there are so many people on the lookout for any instances of real or perceived "favouritism". I certainly don't see it as some deep dark secret.

Unfortunately, I don't very well understand why something like that would be considered so personal it couldn't be divulged but that is probably a function of the work culture I am in. They don't encourage complete sharing but there is a fair amount of gossip and self-disclosure around the place.

Having it out there that I have Aspergers has helped in some ways because a number of people who thought I was "difficult" or "standoffish" now realise that much of this is the result of Aspie traits and that I am slowly improving in social skills (but with a long long way to go).

I have.  I have been treated well since coming there and coming out in August 1999.

My previous job I think I started off on the wrong foot, I think I asked I wrong question, as it was the Census Bureau, the job's level, it's educational requirement, versus my educational level.  It offended a branch manager four or six grades up not quite finished with her own educational level.

I think what really added the petrol to the fire was that I was born a Caucasian male (with Asperger and ADHD) into a upper-middle to middle class family (depending on Mom's employment pre-children, in USA in 1970, none of which I asked for) facing off against an African American woman.  In the back of her mind maybe there was a Whoop, whoop!  KKK alert!  She was actually dealing with a [Master's in] sociology most sympathetic to gender and ethnic relations, and I had gathered quite a bit of respect for civil rights and due process, and for the good of the many versus the freedom of the few of the get rich, from good old Mom and Dad too.

It would not have mattered so much whether I was Aspie or not, but it did kind of look a little bad ganging up on a man with a disability who was only motivated to get out of her way.  I did not succeed after six months.  I do not honesty believe I WANTED to spend two years in that environment.  

I think the state of Maryland was more than convinced to send me for computer training at its Baltimore facility.

Clarification: It might be perceived as threatening, by African Americans, for white Americans of superior academic achievement to pull rank whenever possible.  AA may believe whites have created the system by ourselves and for ourselves a long time ago.  If she had somehow suspected that a white man had it easier going to school than she did (I don't know, maybe she was a combat veteran, sometimes a tounge is a deadly weapon), she was right: Mom was hardly dead one year before I liquidated my student loan (she retroactively sent me to graduate school, they sent me to college).

But it is not fair to attack one individual for America's race problems.  It certainly does not bring any restitution to an African American to for one to attack a white American subordinate at the office.  

In my eight years at my place of work, it only means that the manager has failed badly,
a. first to manage oneself
b. second to manage others

And would not be deserving to hold such a rank where I work.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Anger is just one emotion.
Passion is another.

That is why DTI Associates, Inc. strongly discourages intimate relationships between current employees.

We have just seen why uncontrolled anger makes a manager unfit to manage.
Uncontrolled passion also makes a manager unfit to manage.

Anyone wishing to manage at many companies, including where I work, must first manage the person in the mirror.

Yes, at one time I did try to "get" what I "deserved" on paper.  
I have since given up.
It is not possible to pursue two careers at once any more.

a. social research
b. Web design, database design, computer programming

I have turned my back on research or the kind of "statistician" job (what they called it at the Census Bureau, though it involved hardly any use of a computer at all) I used to do.

I do not ever expect to plan the methodology of a research study, review literature to refine a question for research into propositions and testable hypotheses, build a data collection survey or experiment to collect data, analyze data, or write a report for publication.  Even if I did, it would be with skills 11.5 years unused.  And it might be paid nowhere near what I am getting in the computer field, why would I take a sizable pay cut to do it?

Note: I also have no obsession with the letters P,H,D.

I have a formal dx of AS, which I got last summer.

I've worked at a residential special school for 3 years. Just over a year ago I changed to the night shift, and I told my new line manager that I had been referred for an assessment for an adult dx. She still encouraged me to apply for Team Leader, which I did successfully. Since then I was also given the opportuinity to train as an NVQ assessor for the night teams, and have been selected by the training department to trial a new specialist NVQ, feeding back to see if it will be suitable for the centre as a whole.

I absolutely love my job. For the first time in my life I feel actively liked by a group of people rather than just tolerated. I think it helps that the other staff at work are not really 'mainstream' people, IYSWIM, so I think they are more tolerant of difference and obviously have a good understanding of ASD. My line manager is fantastic, and has helped me with the social/staff-management elements of my job. I use her as a 'model' for a lot of my dealing with staff, especially any problems.

I have also told my immediate colleagues on my night team about my dx. They have been great, but then they used to laugh at some of the things I do, and said things like 'That's your autism coming through!' even before my dx. Apart from one new staff member who struggles with my dx because of her own issues, I feel totally accepted and valued for who I am.

My job has given me so much more confidence...when I started as day staff I hardly said anything as I was scared of getting it wrong. Since I've changed to nights, where the very structured routine and less social interaction to navigate has given me confidence in my abilities, everyone says I've really 'come out of my shell'!!

I was at home for 12 years as my son's full-time carer before starting my new career in social care when he went to residesi. I know I have been very lucky with my job and my colleagues, and especially my line manager.

B

I wasn't focusing enough on the present, sorry, so here it is.

I have been working 8 1/2 years at a Federal government contractor of good reputation now being acquired a second time in four years.  We have branches in weapons engineering (mostly Navy, such as AEGIS and Phalanx), explosive ordinance disposal, rocket launches, civilian Federal government services (mostly Departments of Labor and Education: research and evaluation, grant writing, technical assistance, public relations/marketing/media, conference and event planning), and information technology services (Web developer services, database design services, document publishing on CD, help desk, network support, project management).

I trained as a computer programmer.  I am primarily a Web developer with database design skills in Access and SQL Server, and I have also on occasion done some of the tasks related to document publishing.

I am treated exceptionally well, especially compared with my Federal experience which started just about ten years ago to this day.  It so happens the technical director here, who retired in 2006, was reported in Computerworld as looking for liberal arts and social science talent to cross-train as IT (at a time when IT supply was short).  

It is not perfect here, we are having a dry spell, a drought.  We did downsize and I was one of the survivors.  That should tell you something about the culture here.

That is why I am hesitant to go even if the boredom gnaws at me.  I could do a hell of a lot worse, and not be able to come back.  But maybe the time may come when I will have to take my chances.

Certainly, their culture is a little more important than my salary.

What is the point of being offered a $???,??? a year if you don't meet their mental expectations and they replace you with someone who does?

Yeah, well that's a valid point. It's better to work with what you're comfortable doing than to get in out of one's depth. And for what? A few extra $$$ which could easily be eaten up by increased medical expenses from the stress? There is no law that says that people should have to move up the craporate ladder if they don't want to.

I am hugely over-qualified for the job I do (MA with distinction), but I know I could never cope in the kind of job that 'matches' my academic qualifications.

I am so happy in my job, which is actually a completely different field from the one I trained in.

I could not cope with the kind of pressure or the sophisticated social interaction involved in a more 'high-powered' job.

On the other hand, lots of people wouldn't feel able to do the job I do, working with children and young adults with severe epilepsy and related additional needs. I also feel my job has more moral worth than the kinds of jobs I am qualified to do.

So my life is very different to the one I planned 20 odd years ago, but I'm glad it has turned out the way it has.

B