Aspies For Freedom

I am getting used as a lab monkey by everyone around me who find it entertaining that I have this. Anyone else getting this?

Can you explain situations of you being used as a lab monkey?

define "lab monkey".

I personally get used as an ICT monkey....

As in you have people testing you, all the time. All throughout your day to the point that it is driving you mad. Where your friends aren't your friends, just asking you questions to see if you are you or something? I don't know, they won't fill me in on why they are doing it. I have just caught on to their business because they keep making mistakes. I used to try and fight it, now I am just tired. Kind of want to die and let it be over.

What is the point of living if the only reason people are around you is because they want to make your life a living hell?

You are starting to catch on to their game.  It is a game with some people to tell  you lies or ask you to do or say something after which everyone will laugh at you.  Is this what you called being a monkey?

Because we don't have theory of mind
-- I don't know why someone was asking me to put my hand under a machine.  Someone at work stopped me because there were cutting knives there and no guard on the machine.  My fingers would have been cut off.  I didn't know.  I found out from the government safety inspector that people can be fined or go to jail for telling another worker to do something they know is dangerous.  

People doing this are not your friends.  Stop giving them another chance.  It is a form of bullying.  Talk to your school teacher or work supervisor.

I would have to say, yes!  There have been many occasions where people befriended me to find information to later throw back in my face.

Oh, boy, another monkeys thread...

But yeah, this is annoying. People will usually leave you alone if you say something sarcastic. Like, when someone steals your things and asks whose it is, say, "It belongs to the invisible person sitting next to me. Put it down, she's very offended."

Good idea. It is just... getting bad. because it is like everyone I know in this town that is doing it. I feel like I am losing it because they are all denying it. Maybe they want me to kill myself or something. I don't know. I keep telling myself they aren't my friends but some of them seem like they are and it hurts so much and I don't know why they do it. I sometimes cry and beg them to stop and they just deny that they do it. Nothing works. Nobody listens. Nobody cares. I am alone in this bleak place. I have no money. No where to run. I am even out of drugs so I can't even hide inside my mind anymore unless I spend a lot of time meditating, but they disrupt that by sending me calls or making people come over to my house to bother me.

Oh, geez, that sounds really bad...

I try not to dwell on how bad things are. that is the only thing that keeps me going. I tell myself they have to stop eventually or kill me. I don't know anymore, I have tried everything. Calling people, calling organizations, confronting them, everything, they just deny deny deny... it has been going on for so long. I don't know anymore. I make myself act around them, to the point where I might be going crazy. Or maybe I was before. I don't know. regardless, I don't even know if the doctor who diagnosed me was a real doctor, they like to mess with me a lot. They don't even explain why. I am maintaining the mask of sanity, but underneath it is like... something out of a bad movie. It won't stop, I can't get out. I can't even change the dvd or fast forward, or look up the plot. Everyone is part of it, I wish it was paranoia like all the other times, but when you have seen it with your own two eyes. You believe. When you have heard it. You believe and no amount of them lulling you into a fake sense of security can help you- it is... a living hell. thus I feel like a monkey. I have posts on youtube, i doubt that anyone can see them though. I have tried placing calls to bigger organizations but ... its no use... i am lost.

Can you go to a doctor on your own?  You really do sound like you need some help and maybe a safe place to stay for a while.  Can you just get a phone book and try calling a free clinic? (don't know what country you live in, if that is available).  

You are not living with your parents?  You could try some medication until you calm down but you might need a safe place first to take it.

It isn't in my head. It isn't paranoia. They have made to many mistakes, too many errors for me to believe that it is all in my head. I have seen them, I have heard them. I am sick of this. I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I have tried everything to get them to stop. But they won't and they don't. My mother is part of it, she is the worst part of it. She makes my life a living hell. before it started, I had a job. I had my own place. Now I live in her basement and can't do anything. I hate this. I hate my life.