Aspies For Freedom

The aspies here will skip this horribly long post but that's okay , it's for Jos.  Prior posters made a couple of good points.

I'm a female in the US. A psychologist evaluated me at age 7   because I didn’t fit in at school. But in 1964, nobody heard of AS.  At age 19 I visited a psychiatrist with a list of issues to get strategies to fix them.  I expected a structured plan with step by step instructions and a time table for completion. I didn’t receive that. Things being vague and directionless make me uncomfortable.

The psychiatrist wasn’t listening. In retrospect, I think he expected NT responses. When we discussed what he thought should be highly emotional topics, he took my rather flat, logical and matter-of-fact replies to mean I was hiding how I “really” felt.   He kept saying “I didn’t ask what you THINK, I asked what you FEEL”.  This confused me.  I’d rephrase the same answer.  Then he’d say I wasn’t being honest.  I sat there thinking, “I was honest. What does he WANT?”   He kept trying to paint me with his own emotions and the thoughts he assumed I must have, while he discarded what I was telling him.  He never stopped to consider that my head might not be wired like his script.  

He told me I “needed” to get angry at my father for leaving the family, or I’d get sick.  That sounded irrational.  He asked, “If you won an unlimited amount of money, what would you do with it?” I said, “I’d catch up on the utility bills and pay off the mortgage.”  He said “No!! Imagine you have millions of dollars. You can go anywhere and do anything. Give me your biggest fantasy.”  I replied, “To catch up on the utility bills and pay off the mortgage.”  He got angry. Finally one day I said, “Clearly you have a set of answers in your head that you want to hear and we’ll go in circles until I guess them. So let’s save time by you just telling me what it is you want me to say.”  It was a waste of money so I stopped going.  

Today, I’m informally diagnosed by my Significant Other who has a doctorate in psychology.  I’d like to get a formal diagnosis but hesitate to risk consequences of revelation to insurance companies or employers.

oooo that was post 1111 just now.  That's a kewl number **happy dance **

You sound fantastic, Alli  

Darn it!  We broke another one.  I shouldn't have petted him so hard.

[quote=jos111]
Hi EvilZakkie,

Thanks for the response. I can definitely understand the argument presented against a "cure" though I don't necessarily agree with it.

I guess what really piqued my interest is the number of posters who self diagnose and don't seek clarification or confirmation.
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Hi, I'm an NT Mom to an Aspie teen girl. I have spent so many hours on the 'net talking to other Aspies (which Hope's shrink doesn't do) that really I am more of an Aspie expert now than he is. My brother-in-law is now a shrink also (used to be a brain surgeon) and he gets Aspergers a little, but imo UNLESS autism experts start getting away from the books and cliches and media bull^^it about curing autism, etc. they will never know the true complexity that is the "spectrum".

In the meantime, they mean well, and some do good work imo, but they are unnecessarily misinforming and/or scaring people. Said expert above, whom we only see 1-2 yr., makes dramatic pronouncements (private message me for details) based on the few Aspies he sees (he probably sees many more ADHDers, etc.). Thank God I don't always listen to him. But not everyone is going to have the sort of middle-aged female confidence that I have, you see where I am going with this?

But to his credit HE was the one who came up with the idea that we should lessen Hope's academic load til she graduates high school even if she has to graduate late...

So I feel if you are reasonably intelligent and well educated and have good intuition you can diagnose yourself or others who are very close to you (over time at least). AS in girls can be subtle, at least in elementary school, so if you are all of the above I think your batting average will at least equal, if not exceed, the so-called "expert".

And for those who need someone to talk to, recent studies are showing that it is not the educational degree that is important, but the willingness to listen and come up with good advice/recommendations. That's why I took Hope to Mikka for a while even though she was just a social worker. But she was youngish and pretty and Hope related to her which was important.

There were only a few labels/diagnoses when I was young, but in retrospect too many negative, ignorant adjectives like "crazy" that I now feel they are somewhat useful in that they help us to better understand each other.  Which makes the expression of love that much easier......

Good luck in your studies and professional life!

I got my Master's in sociology, but I am a Web developer.  Once I might have considered the Ph.D to be a prof, but I don't like the idea of borrowing MORE federal aid money to be a prof when there are so many Ph.Ds driving taxi cabs.  I did think teaching was fun,, and I would have taught sociology as science and as theory, not as fact.  I did try to be a researcher but bombed maybe three dozen interveiws so the state of Maryland sent me to VR in IT.

Now.... the logical fallacy????  Diagnosis of autism and being defective?  Pls. clarify, that is a disturbing attitude to many of us, as the moment a pregnant woman hears a a test result of possible "autism" "Downs" or "spina bifida" there is usually the word "abortion" soon to follow.

We don't like it when the NTs act superior to us Aspies, but then again, what do we think of the LFAs?

Even I have thought from time to time, thank you God I am a misunderstood rejected lonely but gifted and eventually fully employed loner who may yet be in love and married...

...and not a plate spinning, feces smearing, drooling, barely dressed, mute LFA in an institutional setting for the rest of my life (there but for the grace of God....)

Of late I have read articles that suggest that the so-called "MR/DD" LFA has sometimes been freed from the autistic mental prison, one even graduated college, and two have been able to describe the internal perspective of LFA with the creepy skin sensations that cause one to hit oneself, not that they know how to tell us that.  I think Jim Sinclair even described a disconnect between being aware of the need to communicate.

Geez.  I wish I had known more about autism and Asperger before just six weeks before I got the Master's, when I got the official dx on campus at the psychology department.

Quoted for truth and wisdom.  

Take the clown who decided I had Multiple Personality Disorder - having read through the DSM4 and done some research of my own, I really don't fit it at all.  BUT this guy was a proponent of EMDR and believed that EMDR could cure MPD, so he conveniently 'diagnosed' me with something his favourite toy could fix.  

What sort of mental health 'professional' sees someone for an hour a week for the better part of a year and DOESN'T NOTICE THEY'RE AUTISTIC!?!?!?!?!?!?!

It's because they're only seeing what they want to see.  They're looking through:

By the way, the Pdoc I'm seeing now, who diagnosed me with Aspergers, is actually an Aspie himself.  He's the only psych I've met who's not full of crap and up themselves.

And another thing....

Another reason self-DX, or at least self-examination and self-knowledge, is desirable is that most 'diagnosticians' frankly don't have a bloody clue.  

I drifted through the mental health system for a decade before anyone noticed I was autistic, and I actually fit the usual criteria quite closely (except for having the impertinence to be female.)  If I'd been content to line up like a nice little sheep and have some "expert" stamp me with whichever label was fashionable that season, regardless of how poorly it fit,  I'd never have found out what I really was.

I drifted through the system for nearly a decade with a medical condition that no on would or could be bothered to investigate, I would like a diagnosis re AS but first I need to get past the local GP's who don't like labels, but who have already labeled you with whatever they choose.

Yes I completely agree, but here we have 10 minutes with the GP everyone accepts this, but when I saw a psychiatrist last year for alleged depression, I was very shocked & surprised to find that after the initial 1/2 hour consultation... 10 minutes a session!
How can anyone learn about a person and make decisions based upon 10 minutes a month?

We threw some uncomfortable truths at him, too.

Self knowledge.  That's what we've been discussing for the last seven pages.  

For the record, I AM officially diagnosed, but am not receiving any "treatment of benefits".  Does that mean the diagnosis process was a waste of time?

And if so, why?  Because some psychologist in a hundred thousand dollar motor car isn't creaming a hundred dollars a week out of me to offer some empty words?

Treatment OR benefits.  Dang typo.

Anyway, the point was I've received great comfort from knowing what I am.  If someone can reach that comfort WITHOUT having to go through the expensive rigmarole of getting officially diagnosed, why should we deny them?

Fair do's... I apologise for using this thread to have a rant about incompetent quacks.

But if I am uncomfortable with "utilising mental health resources", that's the reason.  I just don't trust the people pushing them.  My personal experience is that only one in ten psychologists or counsellors, and no GPs at all, are even capable of identifying Aspergers.

I got my Asperger diagnosis at the Marshall Psych Clinic.  I got my Master's at the Thundering Herd.  Interesting how one grad student tells another he has Asperger (my boss in Research and Economic Development, also a social work prof, figured something might be off like that).  They retested me a year later (maybe not too many grad students get diagnosed) before the final diagnosis, and then the state of Maryland diagnosed me.


All I got from Cabell County DHHR was $40 in Food Stamps.   Gee thanks.  I told a sociology prof that this is what my M.A. was good for.... and she replied well her tax money was better off in my pocket than it was making bombers.

Go Herd!

Target the careers that are begging for your brain.  In a competitive occupation Aspies are dog crap.

Thank you for the post maquis1911. It was one of those moments where I thought "wow, that's me".  Sometimes I'm not sure about being an aspie.  I drove people nuts as a kid, correcting their grammar. (I no longer use good grammar.)  I also understood very well the issues about change and feeling foolish.  The struggle about being unable to walk down the "wrong" side of the hall was something I so understand, though I haven't had an issue with halls (other than the seams in the floor).

Anyway... I thought your post was very interesting.  Please give us an update in the future.

[quote=jos111]
Hi MomofHrick,

Please excuse my use of technical terms, I don't get to do much nontechnical writing nowadays. Since you brought it up, can you explain to me why posters on this board prefer terms like "autistic" and "aspie"? The reason I use terms like "mental disorder" or "individual with Asperger's disorder" is so that I identify relevant info without labeling the person as a diagnosis. The person always comes first.[quote]

"Mental disorder"--A DEFECT!

You have labeled me as a defective because I'm Aspergic.

Yeah, nice to know that I'm a defective, as far as you're concerned.  GREAT way to get me to trust you.

Oh, PLEEEEEEASE, all-knowing and PERFECT non-defective, I'm such a MENTALLY DISORDERED piece of TRASH!  PLEASE make me WHOLE and turn me from being a disorder into an actual human being!