I have had a few problems in the for the last three months. My parents are instisting that I start changing every thing, such as organization. This is because A: My Mom went though a depression, and B: My grades in school are falling. It's now getting so bad that I feel like I can't live in my house any more :cry: . I just want people to stop bothering me.
So they want you to be more organized because you are doing less well in school?
Maybe they think they are trying to help you, but if the way they are approaching it is making you feel uncomfortable and worry, then that would have a negative affect instead of helping you.
Do they know that executive function issues can come along with AS, and that its not that you are just being careless or lazy?
I organize my self based on way most people would find strange. It looks somewhat out of order, but it is the best way I find things. But I thing what bothers my most is that they are beginning to force me to socalize.
They shouldn't force you to do anything, do they know how you feel about it?
I've made an observation that most people assume that everyone enjoys talking. I am afaid that if I tell them how I feel it will just cause a long socal interaction that will result in nothing. But I very fortunatly have time to my self at night when everyone else is asleep. That's one of the underlieing problems though. I don't have to get up until at least 12:00. But for reasons that I don't understand my parent want me to have a normal sleep pattern. So they're trying to earlier, which gives me 5 hours of sleep sometimes (one of the reasons I am do bad in school).
Sounds like they want you to fit into an average mould, which doesn't fit you.
As far as the sleeping thing, you may have to try and alter a little if they are very insistent, by trying to go to bed earlier, because 5 hours isn't enough really.
Its the old saying "when you are in our house, follow our rules" and they expect you to follow a more normal sleep pattern.
Its some kind of a social or culture thing to them probably.
WOW Paradox, this all sounds quite familiar. I know where everything is, but no-one else can tell from looking, which is just the way i like it (im a paranoid SOB) it drives my parents nuts that there is not observable order to my life. They are always trying to make me adopt one of their organization proposals.
Paradox, if you don't want to talk to them, you need to write to them. Write down everything that bothers you, print it out and give it to them to read.
You need to tell them, that the reason you stay up so late is, that they won't leave you alone in the daytime. And that if they then make you get up earlier than you would like, you don't get enough sleep, which makes you do poorly in school.
Explain to them, that you don't want to socialize, that you need very little social interaction, and that they will only cause overload when they force you. Let them know that you will go to bed earlier (and automatically then get up earlier), if they stop pestering you and let you have the peace and solitude you need during the daytime hours. Make it clear to them that your odd sleep pattern is their fault, because the only time you get any peace is when they are asleep.
They need to be told that what looks disorganized to them, is your own kind of order and works for you. You are an individual and therefore don't have to be like everybody else.
Just make very sure that you use 'I' statements, not accusing 'you' statements. People react negatively if they feel attacked. A bad example would be: "It's YOUR fault that I don't get enough sleep, because you won't leave me alone!" A better example would be: "Mom, I desperately need peace and quiet to be able to function, that's why I stay up later than I would like to. I would really like it if I could have some time all for myself during the daytime without being disturbed, so I could go to bed when I should. I can't function without getting a certain amount of quiet time by myself every day."
If you don't tell them how you feel, how are they supposed to know? And if they don't know, they won't have a chance to understand. Who knows, if they only knew how you feel and think, maybe you could actually work out something that works for everybody.
Things are starting to get slightly better. I've decided to go to sleep at 2:00 am on the days that I have school. I am spending most of my time in my basement, so I don't have to interact as much. In a few weeks I am planning to put my room down there (with there approvel).