Aspies For Freedom

You might want a cautionary tale of just how bad it can get... no matter how much you try, no matter how hard your push yourself. Sometimes, it's not worth the end result.

i live in the pathetic USA, in the conservative north eastern state of Pennsylvania. i worked for a STATE university called Kutztown University.

Hell is Just a Word

and

There is Always More

are links to my tale...

CAUTION: my website and blog contains profanity and intense emotional expressions via words, art and music, and may not be suitable for all audiences. The PDF document that i have available for you to read was assembled to "blow the whistle" on the university's abuse of me and the lack of responsibility taken for it. It contains mostly official documents, but also contains some of my blog entries that i felt were relevant and therefore also includes profanity and intense emotional expressions.

That said, i'm sure most of you know that having AS in no way means that you have no emotions. In fact, quite often, the opposite is true. It seems like the NTs are cold, heartless, inflexible, unable to empathize with the feelings and emotions of others, and generally just frightening. Just wait till you encounter a SOCIOPATH.

The worst part is that i hypothesize that Sociopathy has its roots in AS. i am in no way suggesting that people with AS become sociopaths. The process is more likely to be in this fashion:

Born with AS -> Socially/physically Abused because of "differences" -> Develop Borderline Personality Disorder as a neurological defense mechanism (about as self chosen as being born with AS). THEN comes the worst stuff... -> If not treated, helped, assisted, etc, BPD worsens, "solidifies" in the early to mid 30's and may eventually lead to sociopathy.

Sociopathy is NOT Psychopathy.

So it's an ironic little circle, because the most likely to succeed, in my country at least, are sociopaths because there's almost nothing they WONT do to get ahead. Then they do to those around them the things that make them sociopaths. They destroy the system from within by doing whatever it takes to feed that sociopathic behavioral structure and ego. They do to others what was done to them at a young age. They BECOME the victimizer after having BEEN the victim.

They do to others what was done to me by my employers.

The USA is a breeding ground for sociopathy. The fact that it also seems to be one of the leading creators of AS-related ecological damage suggests to me that there is a focal point of AS/BPD/Sociopathy activity surrounding the USA and wherever it... uh ... has influence... with economics, business and manufacturing/development.

You know they're still poisoning us, by mandate, with toxic waste, by BUYING it with tax money from toxic waste producing facilities (like nuclear power plants, manufacturing and incineration), and pouring it into the public water supply. (flouride, or more commonly, fluorosilicic acid)

i'm not a conspiracy theorist or UFO abductee or any of that tripe. But these seem to be the facts, from where i sit.

While i've deviated hugely from my original point, that of busting your guts to fit in at work, i think it all plays together to create the problem we face as high functioning autistics in the workplace. It's a workplace complicated by so many factors already issue to those with AS, but then on top of it, it also contains quite disturbing and anti-society attributes that either can push "us" out of our jobs, crush our desires to live, or MAKE US INTO THOSE WHO HURT US.

If you find yourself compromising your ethics, your moral codes and your gut instincts about what is right and wrong... if you find yourself doing to others, things that were done to you which hurt you... STOP TRYING TO WIN and MOVE OUT. Don't become one of the victimizers.

We have choices. One of them is to accept that there are places and goals that will not be easy for us to reach or accomplish and to work within our limitations instead of making others suffer for our arrogance and our personal ego and desire to "make it" ... including fellow human beings with AS.

What's my qualification in saying all this?

i have AS. Self diagnosed, then officially diagnosed (because i thought the label would help me save my life - too late). i am now developing a keen awareness of Borderline Personality Disorder traits in response to 32 years of psychological abuse, harassment and general suffering because of having undiagnosed and unaccommodated AS. i also have EXTENSIVE first hand experience with several sociopaths (one of which is my former boss, who i worked for three times at different places before i realized i was being harassed and bullied), several people with BPD and have done extensive independent study/research on these topics and more. Also, if you can believe it, my "mutant ability" is to recognize patterns, which is officially documented and supported.

i might look like i'm trying to just get attention. Surely there's a selfish element to it, and i would love to be rescued by some magical legal powerhouse (hah hah hah, not gonna happen), but what i would also like to see is people making use of this information to avoid suffering what i have suffered or to help others from suffering what i have suffered. It's a crappy world sometimes and i've had more than what i think is my fair share. So use me as an example, a case study, or whatever. Help spread the word about harassment in the workplace and how it relates to things like AS. Help pass laws to stop the abuses.

Communicate with me if you like/need. i'm open. Completely.

For what it's worth,

my best regards to everyone here,

-jace cavacini

Hmm, I've had a couple of bosses who I think were borderline sociopaths and count myself very fortunate that somehow I "survived" abuse from them. Luckily for me (but not for the others), they generally had several "victims" on the go at any given time. If they had concentrated their sole efforts upon breaking me and getting me to leave, I don't know how things would have gone. One woman came darned close but she ended up looking foolish.

jefferson looked foolish, too, but he's much better at playing political games than i ever would want to be, so once the parties who KNEW what happened were not there any more or not involved any more (like the dean) he just pushed and played his games again. that place crippled me. i feel, most times, like just callng it quits on life itself. the jerk once even TOLD a faculty member that he ENJOYED PLAYING THE POLITICAL GAMES at the university....

what a world of evil. i'l never be a part of it. there's no place to be a part of, either.

Not every American employer is as good as mine.  The Federal government for example has excellent job security should a manager be sociopathic, as I would strongly suspect my one-time boss is.

One thing I read is to take performance evaluations from your boss very seriously. If you see an area that you are weak in, you might want to ask the boss for suggestions on improving. In most cases, it is better to go with the flow and the boss will be more likely to overlook your little quirks.