01-06-2008, 11:29 PM
Right this will be a very long post so I apologise.
I am only a baby Aspergian and trying to adapt a lot of the AS help and support into my day to day life. In the space of week, those close to me have said I've mellowed out a lot more because I don't get as frustrated with situations that I get emotional about. I accept now that my temper and emotion is a response to my own mental confusion over people's behaviour, and the acceptance of this has really calmed me down. My family told me for years to hide the traits that really showed me as an Aspie - being a geek, being socially awkward, speaking my mind, etc. I went through a really unhappy late teenage and early twenties period, getting involved with people I didn't even find attractive because I thought thats what I was meant to do. Generally I just wanted friends and the friends I did make were always out at clubs etc trying to cop off (make out for those on the other side of the pond
) with randoms. I never understood that; in the few situations when some girl tried to put her tongue down my throat, I used to just go along with it and not sit and think about whatever bugs she probably had, had she brushed her teeth, I can taste what she's been eating/drinking, I want to be sick... As a result, I've never really been into the popular lesbian culture - for a while I seemed accepted but then I realised I had a strong bullshit meter and alcohol loosens your clamped tongue.
I met my current partner under 4 years ago, was doing all my "I'm just like everyone else, I'm cool, I AM NOT DIFFERENT!!!" nonsense...lost her because I was a twat, wised up to myself and realised I wasn't happy being what I was, so removed myself from that enviroment and got to grips with myself. Met her again months later, she made it plain she still cared for me, I was trying to deal with myself, I backed out. Spent another couple of months sorting my head out, she went back home for summer (she originally comes from a rural part of Scotland and comes to the city for uni) and still tried to keep in contact with me. When she moved back out, met up again and I thought I had my head focussed, so we started seeing each other about a year after we first met. At first it was all ok because it was dating, then I fell in love with her and I had no idea what it was like to actually want someone around me all the time, but to be, as I always put it before, a bit of a sociopath.
There are a lot of things that my partner needs to deal with - she still hasn't told her parents she's gay and it creates tension because she's close to her parents. She says its because she's scared they'll disown her etc and before I realised that I was Aspie, I couldn't understand why fear would stop you being honest. I still don't understand it but I understand why I don't get it. There are things that my partner can definitely improve on - even if she was with a NT woman - but I'm hoping that now we both know why things she says and does distress and upset me so much, we can work on that. She has started making an effort with it, and I've started talking about things a lot more than I usually do; I think she's started to realise that she has to talk to me about her feelings i.e. fear in almost robotic terms. I think she understands why I can't just sit there and be a literal shoulder to cry on; I don't get why you would cry unless you want help. Her aunt died 2 days before Xmas and I didn't know what to do because I was offering her practical advice and nothing seemed to help, so I just left her alone. I'm starting to accept that when she's upset and wants to just cry its because she needs to; its nothing I can do or help with.
My point is that before we started to accept that I have Aspergers we had a lot of problems in our relationship that I externalised onto her and her alone. Since Xmastime we've been dealing with our relationship as a NT/AS one and its been working a lot better. Prior to this I just thought she was selfish, immature and dishonest - apparently she thought I was stubborn, awkward and possessive with an extremely bad temper and nasty, sharp tongue. Her mum came down to visit before Xmas; on the same day I got a letter from uni disqualifying me from an exam because I hadn't handed an assignment on time; I had to go into a 10 hour nightshift and all I was doing was sitting in a bedroom crying hysterically because I couldn't handle 'my space' being invaded, the physical change of our flat and then the problems of uni (my degree is in one of my special interests so I couldn't cope with failure). I didn't understand why I was being like this and when I cry, its because I need to fix something and I couldn't fix it, so it was making me more hysterical. Naturally every time my partner came in I was lashing out at her because she wasn't fixing any of the problems that she could fix. She walked out saying I was unreasonable and I told her she was selfish etc.
So I calmed down a bit and went into work to beg to be sent home to at least do my uni work, as I could fix that. They were very sympathetic and sent me home on an unpaid holiday. I said that I thought my partner and I were breaking up because things were coming to too much of a standstill etc. One woman who I speak to inside work, swapped phone numbers with and don't socialise with, started saying that my relationship was obviously dead in the water etc. Starts sending me texts saying that my partner is selfish etc and I'm better off without her etc etc. I mentioned a handful of issues between us, as in, the stuff I've glossed over here.
We're still at loggerheads at home and I go back to studying things about AS because I'd wondered before if I had it. It all starts beginning to slip into place but we can't do much about it because of timing. She goes home for Xmas/New Year and this woman at work is starting to go on about what a load of nonsense it is that my partner just takes and takes and takes and gives me nothing back. Starts saying I should tell my partner to come back at New Year or its over. Because I'm already really pissed off at my partner, I go with it. It seems to make sense; I don't think its fair. My partner gets upset, saying she can't change her plans at such short notice etc. I still behave like a bitch about the whole thing but internally I'm starting to chill out because I'm doing that much research on AS and realising thats what I've got. But my partner says she'll come down between Xmas/New Year - lets me down - sets my AS off - cue fights. In the end she does come down for a night and I start to chill out a bit. Start throwing myself into AS study to understand myself more at quite a crucial period time in my relationship (the Disability Dept at uni were sending me for AS tests as they were positive I had it but I was too busy having my head inserted up my backside) and started to chill out. This woman keeps sending me text messages saying its not good enough my partner didn't stay for New Year etc - I don't respond, my partner came down as she said she would, thats good enough for me. I stop texting this woman as much because I can't be bothered with her asking me about my relationship every text message.
On Fri night at work I get a text from her asking me how work is (its her night off). I reply that its fine, quiet after New Year, I'm just studying for my exams. She replies with "how are things with you? hows your flat mate?" (a dig at my partner). I say that I'm ok, I'm starting to do a lot of study into AS and I've got my tests coming up hopefully in the next month or so. Don't respond AT ALL to the comment about my partner.
This is the following exchange:
Her: "U aint telling me anything about home n her. Avoiding it? Ok. In ur time. Whenever you wanna talk I'm here."
Me: "Ach I just cbf. She's upset by the aspergers thing and says she wants to change to support me with it. I will give her credit for that; she has been informing herself and says she can't keep doing what she does. So just taking it v slow. I'm more concerned with diagnosis and healing myself."
Her: "She shouldn't change coz of that. She cant change. She is who n wot she is n ur diagnosis cant change that. Uv had it all ur life. Its ur personality n she shouldve accepted it all b4 getin a bit of paper sayin it. Ur diagonsis wont make her any less selfish - n if she does start puttin u 1st why now n never b4?? Pity? Regret? Guilt?"
Me: "Right I really can't be bothered with this. I appreciate totally that you're supporting me but like I said, all I'm worried about right now is my diagnosis."
Her: "Fair enuf. Thats me securely put in my place. Truth hurts. Goodnite."
(Now I have to say, the only one thats allowed to intimately criticise my girlfriend - Linsey - is me. Especially if that criticism is levelled at her from someone that saw me upset one day and going through an extremely difficult time in my own head, and even more especially if I've seen my girlfriend trying to work at things. I've never asked this woman for romantic advice; only responded to questions asking me what was wrong.)
Me: "Excuse me but with all due respect you haven't met Linsey. I'm not defending her; I'm saying that I care about MY future. 'Truth hurts'? Out of order."
Then as an afterthought: "Look up Aspergers on a website and really ask yourself why I'm giving more concern to myself, NOT my love life. There are more important things to me than that. Not offended by apparent 'truth'. I AM offended by a blinkered determination to push me into confronting an issue that I have little time for right now. I told you I have Aspergers out of trust. Not to be insulted because I say I have more important things on my mind than a woman."
Her: "Guess curtness is a symptom as well! Uv had it all ur life n known about it pretty long - a bita paper wont change that or u. Its a condition that can only b altered by behaviour. It doesnt change u. U r u. People accept u 4it or dont. They cant change 2suit it coz its cn as the rite thing 2do. Iv tried 2change 2suit others n it just ends in misery. Iv been a friend til now, but rite now ur 2up and down 4me 2help. n u dont want that rite now. Uv lived with it up til now- yeah u need support 2adapt, but other than that uv got ur health n a strong future. I got it wrong. Well just stay outa each others way then we dont clash n make u feel any worse."
Me: "Yes. And I told you I appreciate that but my relationship problems are't a priority right now. Its that simple."
Her: "I aint tryin 2insult u or ur condition - only trying 2offer insite from sum1 thats bn in a selfish relationship. Uv said it bout her 4a while b4 all this happened. Advice u dont want. Fine. Mental n behaviour advice ull get Im sure maybe itll help. Its clearly wot u need to 2help. Uv known about it 4awhile so diagnosis wont change anything. I don't no u well enuf 2help in any way so ill stay outa it. U have a condition thats tough n im sorry 2hear it, but it can b controlled n adapted 2with counselling n medication. Ur not dying. B grateful 4that if nothing else. Goodnite."
Me: "I can't understand what the problem is. People with Aspergers don't recognise emotional cues. I can only respond to things according to logic because I don't understand really how I should respond to things emotionally. I know full well I've always been like this but I'm trying to deal with the fact I'm maybe not as much of an alien in society as I thought. I can't deal with ANYTHING in my relationship until I deal with my own emotions and how I view the world. It doesn't mean I have to change and I don't want to change; I just want to understand why people do things. Until I do that I will never be happy in anything that involves people, not just my relationship. I'm telling you this because I saw you as a friend and you have to understand that I'm not talking about Linsey or anything to ANYONE. Because I have to understand me first."
Her: "There's not much thats important 2u rite now. Not relationships. Not friendships. Not family. Not uni or career. All the things that support u, build the future n keep u sane - nun of its important to u rite now is it. Just a load websites that tell u the worst n a bita paper that tells u wot uv known 4years. Doctors will teach u2 accept n adapt. Thats all u can do, they cant sort out lifes general shit, so dont throw away everything else or ull have a long lonely life. i no all about that! anyway do it ur way - im sure u will anyway. i cant help u & u dont want that anyway so conversation ended. do it ur way, deal with it ur own way n take care. shake the globe or break the globe - care I don't" <- the last part is because she got me a Tatty Teddy/Me2U snow globe for Xmas which I found strange. I speak to her and sit next to her in work at the weekend, I'm not exactly bosom buddies.
Me: "I can't understand why you're being this way. I've explained to you how things are for me and you don't seem to get that."
Her: "I get it all. Ive bn an honest friend n offered support. U dont want that no get it. U need help. Get it."
Then: "Aspergers is lack of emotion 2people n society but u show plenty of emotion about linsay, alan (a guy in my work who is SOOOO loud its annoying and he generally does annoy me at times, v flamboyant), ur parents (I openly admit I hate my mother, I don't see why I shouldn't), adecco (a company I worked for that I'm going through tribunal action against - recieved sexual orientation discrimination to the point I was constructively dismissed. I was open about this with my new job; no secret.) etc, so it cant be a full vlown version of the condition. U can adapt n move on. U aint just found out about it so why now all the struggle? If it hadnt of bn 4linsay heading north, ud b coping with it ok just as uv dun all ur life. Thatwas the trigger 4this episode n ur frustration - not anything the docs or i have said. uv got so bogged down with her n ur failure 2meet uni deadlines that its affectin ur life n health - not the other way round. Wots a bita paper gona prove that u dont no already?? I'm going 2sleep now."
Me: "Don't contact me again. I was straight with you, you assume an awful lot about people you don't really know. DO NOT contact me again. I find that EXTREMELY offensive toward my condition and I'm covered under the Disability Discrimination Act so do NOT have to take that from any co-worker."
Her: "U mention discrimination alot in ur life (a dig at my tribunal action). I woz tryin 2b a friend. Sumfin u dont get."
Me: "Right I'm showing your texts to a senior manager. I told you not to contact me again."
Her: "Our last texts crossed. Simple."
Me: "I told you not to contact me again. Reporting this. You were told to stop it. You haven't."
She doesn't respond to it. About 20 mins later, after I've been seen by one of her friends going to speak to a senior member of staff in private, I get this...
Her: "I'm ur friend as long as u want it. A heated conversation doesnt stop that. I no ur havin a tuf time. Just trying 2help u."
Me: "Some of the things you've said are so nasty and vicious that I cannot believe I have them in my phone. I basically pleaded with you to stop. Thats bullying."
Her: "Not at all. Just trying 2help a friend who needs help n guidance. If not from me then others. Its u im concerned about. U n ur wellbeing. Nufin n no1 else. Wish u cd c that x"
Me: "I told you to back off from the subject of Linsey. I didn't deserve to have the kind of response that I got."
Her: "I'm sure ur tired n well stressed out, just focus on good things n people. Just dont push it all away. Its all there waitin 4the bubbly u 2cum back."
I don't respond because I've already reported her texts to a manager.
The next day I wake up to this text:
"I dont no much about any of it apart from wot uv told me - good n bad - just tellin u wot ive had similar in my experience. If thats not being a friend, then I'm sorry. Truly. U dont need my help or advice anyway. Take care"
I don't respond to that either.
What I don't get is... why are people so nasty at times? I never confided in this woman yet she's behaving like I've told her my deepest darkest secrets and we're the best of friends! I speak to her at work and occassionally text her asking her how her day has been! Yet she thinks she has the right to presume all this kind of shit because I mentioned that I was going for tests for Aspergers??? I never mentioned going on any websites or anything - I would have thought I made it plain I didn't want to discuss intimate things with her.
I really, really, REALLY hate people sometimes.
Apologies for the length of this; thinking aloud I guess.
I am only a baby Aspergian and trying to adapt a lot of the AS help and support into my day to day life. In the space of week, those close to me have said I've mellowed out a lot more because I don't get as frustrated with situations that I get emotional about. I accept now that my temper and emotion is a response to my own mental confusion over people's behaviour, and the acceptance of this has really calmed me down. My family told me for years to hide the traits that really showed me as an Aspie - being a geek, being socially awkward, speaking my mind, etc. I went through a really unhappy late teenage and early twenties period, getting involved with people I didn't even find attractive because I thought thats what I was meant to do. Generally I just wanted friends and the friends I did make were always out at clubs etc trying to cop off (make out for those on the other side of the pond
) with randoms. I never understood that; in the few situations when some girl tried to put her tongue down my throat, I used to just go along with it and not sit and think about whatever bugs she probably had, had she brushed her teeth, I can taste what she's been eating/drinking, I want to be sick... As a result, I've never really been into the popular lesbian culture - for a while I seemed accepted but then I realised I had a strong bullshit meter and alcohol loosens your clamped tongue.I met my current partner under 4 years ago, was doing all my "I'm just like everyone else, I'm cool, I AM NOT DIFFERENT!!!" nonsense...lost her because I was a twat, wised up to myself and realised I wasn't happy being what I was, so removed myself from that enviroment and got to grips with myself. Met her again months later, she made it plain she still cared for me, I was trying to deal with myself, I backed out. Spent another couple of months sorting my head out, she went back home for summer (she originally comes from a rural part of Scotland and comes to the city for uni) and still tried to keep in contact with me. When she moved back out, met up again and I thought I had my head focussed, so we started seeing each other about a year after we first met. At first it was all ok because it was dating, then I fell in love with her and I had no idea what it was like to actually want someone around me all the time, but to be, as I always put it before, a bit of a sociopath.
There are a lot of things that my partner needs to deal with - she still hasn't told her parents she's gay and it creates tension because she's close to her parents. She says its because she's scared they'll disown her etc and before I realised that I was Aspie, I couldn't understand why fear would stop you being honest. I still don't understand it but I understand why I don't get it. There are things that my partner can definitely improve on - even if she was with a NT woman - but I'm hoping that now we both know why things she says and does distress and upset me so much, we can work on that. She has started making an effort with it, and I've started talking about things a lot more than I usually do; I think she's started to realise that she has to talk to me about her feelings i.e. fear in almost robotic terms. I think she understands why I can't just sit there and be a literal shoulder to cry on; I don't get why you would cry unless you want help. Her aunt died 2 days before Xmas and I didn't know what to do because I was offering her practical advice and nothing seemed to help, so I just left her alone. I'm starting to accept that when she's upset and wants to just cry its because she needs to; its nothing I can do or help with.
My point is that before we started to accept that I have Aspergers we had a lot of problems in our relationship that I externalised onto her and her alone. Since Xmastime we've been dealing with our relationship as a NT/AS one and its been working a lot better. Prior to this I just thought she was selfish, immature and dishonest - apparently she thought I was stubborn, awkward and possessive with an extremely bad temper and nasty, sharp tongue. Her mum came down to visit before Xmas; on the same day I got a letter from uni disqualifying me from an exam because I hadn't handed an assignment on time; I had to go into a 10 hour nightshift and all I was doing was sitting in a bedroom crying hysterically because I couldn't handle 'my space' being invaded, the physical change of our flat and then the problems of uni (my degree is in one of my special interests so I couldn't cope with failure). I didn't understand why I was being like this and when I cry, its because I need to fix something and I couldn't fix it, so it was making me more hysterical. Naturally every time my partner came in I was lashing out at her because she wasn't fixing any of the problems that she could fix. She walked out saying I was unreasonable and I told her she was selfish etc.
So I calmed down a bit and went into work to beg to be sent home to at least do my uni work, as I could fix that. They were very sympathetic and sent me home on an unpaid holiday. I said that I thought my partner and I were breaking up because things were coming to too much of a standstill etc. One woman who I speak to inside work, swapped phone numbers with and don't socialise with, started saying that my relationship was obviously dead in the water etc. Starts sending me texts saying that my partner is selfish etc and I'm better off without her etc etc. I mentioned a handful of issues between us, as in, the stuff I've glossed over here.
We're still at loggerheads at home and I go back to studying things about AS because I'd wondered before if I had it. It all starts beginning to slip into place but we can't do much about it because of timing. She goes home for Xmas/New Year and this woman at work is starting to go on about what a load of nonsense it is that my partner just takes and takes and takes and gives me nothing back. Starts saying I should tell my partner to come back at New Year or its over. Because I'm already really pissed off at my partner, I go with it. It seems to make sense; I don't think its fair. My partner gets upset, saying she can't change her plans at such short notice etc. I still behave like a bitch about the whole thing but internally I'm starting to chill out because I'm doing that much research on AS and realising thats what I've got. But my partner says she'll come down between Xmas/New Year - lets me down - sets my AS off - cue fights. In the end she does come down for a night and I start to chill out a bit. Start throwing myself into AS study to understand myself more at quite a crucial period time in my relationship (the Disability Dept at uni were sending me for AS tests as they were positive I had it but I was too busy having my head inserted up my backside) and started to chill out. This woman keeps sending me text messages saying its not good enough my partner didn't stay for New Year etc - I don't respond, my partner came down as she said she would, thats good enough for me. I stop texting this woman as much because I can't be bothered with her asking me about my relationship every text message.
On Fri night at work I get a text from her asking me how work is (its her night off). I reply that its fine, quiet after New Year, I'm just studying for my exams. She replies with "how are things with you? hows your flat mate?" (a dig at my partner). I say that I'm ok, I'm starting to do a lot of study into AS and I've got my tests coming up hopefully in the next month or so. Don't respond AT ALL to the comment about my partner.
This is the following exchange:
Her: "U aint telling me anything about home n her. Avoiding it? Ok. In ur time. Whenever you wanna talk I'm here."
Me: "Ach I just cbf. She's upset by the aspergers thing and says she wants to change to support me with it. I will give her credit for that; she has been informing herself and says she can't keep doing what she does. So just taking it v slow. I'm more concerned with diagnosis and healing myself."
Her: "She shouldn't change coz of that. She cant change. She is who n wot she is n ur diagnosis cant change that. Uv had it all ur life. Its ur personality n she shouldve accepted it all b4 getin a bit of paper sayin it. Ur diagonsis wont make her any less selfish - n if she does start puttin u 1st why now n never b4?? Pity? Regret? Guilt?"
Me: "Right I really can't be bothered with this. I appreciate totally that you're supporting me but like I said, all I'm worried about right now is my diagnosis."
Her: "Fair enuf. Thats me securely put in my place. Truth hurts. Goodnite."
(Now I have to say, the only one thats allowed to intimately criticise my girlfriend - Linsey - is me. Especially if that criticism is levelled at her from someone that saw me upset one day and going through an extremely difficult time in my own head, and even more especially if I've seen my girlfriend trying to work at things. I've never asked this woman for romantic advice; only responded to questions asking me what was wrong.)
Me: "Excuse me but with all due respect you haven't met Linsey. I'm not defending her; I'm saying that I care about MY future. 'Truth hurts'? Out of order."
Then as an afterthought: "Look up Aspergers on a website and really ask yourself why I'm giving more concern to myself, NOT my love life. There are more important things to me than that. Not offended by apparent 'truth'. I AM offended by a blinkered determination to push me into confronting an issue that I have little time for right now. I told you I have Aspergers out of trust. Not to be insulted because I say I have more important things on my mind than a woman."
Her: "Guess curtness is a symptom as well! Uv had it all ur life n known about it pretty long - a bita paper wont change that or u. Its a condition that can only b altered by behaviour. It doesnt change u. U r u. People accept u 4it or dont. They cant change 2suit it coz its cn as the rite thing 2do. Iv tried 2change 2suit others n it just ends in misery. Iv been a friend til now, but rite now ur 2up and down 4me 2help. n u dont want that rite now. Uv lived with it up til now- yeah u need support 2adapt, but other than that uv got ur health n a strong future. I got it wrong. Well just stay outa each others way then we dont clash n make u feel any worse."
Me: "Yes. And I told you I appreciate that but my relationship problems are't a priority right now. Its that simple."
Her: "I aint tryin 2insult u or ur condition - only trying 2offer insite from sum1 thats bn in a selfish relationship. Uv said it bout her 4a while b4 all this happened. Advice u dont want. Fine. Mental n behaviour advice ull get Im sure maybe itll help. Its clearly wot u need to 2help. Uv known about it 4awhile so diagnosis wont change anything. I don't no u well enuf 2help in any way so ill stay outa it. U have a condition thats tough n im sorry 2hear it, but it can b controlled n adapted 2with counselling n medication. Ur not dying. B grateful 4that if nothing else. Goodnite."
Me: "I can't understand what the problem is. People with Aspergers don't recognise emotional cues. I can only respond to things according to logic because I don't understand really how I should respond to things emotionally. I know full well I've always been like this but I'm trying to deal with the fact I'm maybe not as much of an alien in society as I thought. I can't deal with ANYTHING in my relationship until I deal with my own emotions and how I view the world. It doesn't mean I have to change and I don't want to change; I just want to understand why people do things. Until I do that I will never be happy in anything that involves people, not just my relationship. I'm telling you this because I saw you as a friend and you have to understand that I'm not talking about Linsey or anything to ANYONE. Because I have to understand me first."
Her: "There's not much thats important 2u rite now. Not relationships. Not friendships. Not family. Not uni or career. All the things that support u, build the future n keep u sane - nun of its important to u rite now is it. Just a load websites that tell u the worst n a bita paper that tells u wot uv known 4years. Doctors will teach u2 accept n adapt. Thats all u can do, they cant sort out lifes general shit, so dont throw away everything else or ull have a long lonely life. i no all about that! anyway do it ur way - im sure u will anyway. i cant help u & u dont want that anyway so conversation ended. do it ur way, deal with it ur own way n take care. shake the globe or break the globe - care I don't" <- the last part is because she got me a Tatty Teddy/Me2U snow globe for Xmas which I found strange. I speak to her and sit next to her in work at the weekend, I'm not exactly bosom buddies.
Me: "I can't understand why you're being this way. I've explained to you how things are for me and you don't seem to get that."
Her: "I get it all. Ive bn an honest friend n offered support. U dont want that no get it. U need help. Get it."
Then: "Aspergers is lack of emotion 2people n society but u show plenty of emotion about linsay, alan (a guy in my work who is SOOOO loud its annoying and he generally does annoy me at times, v flamboyant), ur parents (I openly admit I hate my mother, I don't see why I shouldn't), adecco (a company I worked for that I'm going through tribunal action against - recieved sexual orientation discrimination to the point I was constructively dismissed. I was open about this with my new job; no secret.) etc, so it cant be a full vlown version of the condition. U can adapt n move on. U aint just found out about it so why now all the struggle? If it hadnt of bn 4linsay heading north, ud b coping with it ok just as uv dun all ur life. Thatwas the trigger 4this episode n ur frustration - not anything the docs or i have said. uv got so bogged down with her n ur failure 2meet uni deadlines that its affectin ur life n health - not the other way round. Wots a bita paper gona prove that u dont no already?? I'm going 2sleep now."
Me: "Don't contact me again. I was straight with you, you assume an awful lot about people you don't really know. DO NOT contact me again. I find that EXTREMELY offensive toward my condition and I'm covered under the Disability Discrimination Act so do NOT have to take that from any co-worker."
Her: "U mention discrimination alot in ur life (a dig at my tribunal action). I woz tryin 2b a friend. Sumfin u dont get."
Me: "Right I'm showing your texts to a senior manager. I told you not to contact me again."
Her: "Our last texts crossed. Simple."
Me: "I told you not to contact me again. Reporting this. You were told to stop it. You haven't."
She doesn't respond to it. About 20 mins later, after I've been seen by one of her friends going to speak to a senior member of staff in private, I get this...
Her: "I'm ur friend as long as u want it. A heated conversation doesnt stop that. I no ur havin a tuf time. Just trying 2help u."
Me: "Some of the things you've said are so nasty and vicious that I cannot believe I have them in my phone. I basically pleaded with you to stop. Thats bullying."
Her: "Not at all. Just trying 2help a friend who needs help n guidance. If not from me then others. Its u im concerned about. U n ur wellbeing. Nufin n no1 else. Wish u cd c that x"
Me: "I told you to back off from the subject of Linsey. I didn't deserve to have the kind of response that I got."
Her: "I'm sure ur tired n well stressed out, just focus on good things n people. Just dont push it all away. Its all there waitin 4the bubbly u 2cum back."
I don't respond because I've already reported her texts to a manager.
The next day I wake up to this text:
"I dont no much about any of it apart from wot uv told me - good n bad - just tellin u wot ive had similar in my experience. If thats not being a friend, then I'm sorry. Truly. U dont need my help or advice anyway. Take care"
I don't respond to that either.
What I don't get is... why are people so nasty at times? I never confided in this woman yet she's behaving like I've told her my deepest darkest secrets and we're the best of friends! I speak to her at work and occassionally text her asking her how her day has been! Yet she thinks she has the right to presume all this kind of shit because I mentioned that I was going for tests for Aspergers??? I never mentioned going on any websites or anything - I would have thought I made it plain I didn't want to discuss intimate things with her.
I really, really, REALLY hate people sometimes.
Apologies for the length of this; thinking aloud I guess.
because the spider was only 'helping', 'giving advice' etc. They act all hurt that you get hurt, trying to turn the blame on to you.
Capitalism can be cool.
