I'm having a meltdown tonight. I'm so angry I can't see straight, and basically it's because I'm frustrated and depressed. I'm curious--does anyone else still have meltdowns (I say still because I'm an adult), and if so, what are they like? Mine are more quite--I guess I had tantrums when I was a kid--but now I just shut down and have no idea how to "re-start".
Do you know exactly what you're angry about, or are you just plain angry in general?
Two things that happen to me often are the following: 1) getting angry about some incident in the past, usually school or workplace bullying incidents, some of them over 20 years ago. That usually just makes me wring my hands and pace, and I'm over it in about 15 minutes when I can get my mind on something else. 2) social fatigue - physical exhaustion just from being around people. I can last about an hour and a half in a restaurant with friends, then I just get tired and can't wait to get home and rest. Not sure if these meet the definition of "meltdown", but it happens often.
I hope things get better and less frustrating for you.
Sounds just like my meltdowns - and I'm fifty.
Especially the 'can't see straight'.
How do I cope?
Whatever the time of day, I just go to bed with a giant bar of chocolate and the portable dvd player or a book, tell everyone to leave me alone on pain of death and sit it out until I calm down and/or fall asleep.
Otherwise I am likely to become loud and randomly violent (though not towards people - unless they try to restrain me). I once threw a large upholstered rocking chair across the room with such force it took the door off its hinges.
I must have had meltdowns as a child but I am quite unable to recall them. My son says that he cannot recall his, either.
Sounds just like my meltdowns - and I'm fifty.
Especially the 'can't see straight'.
How do I cope?
Whatever the time of day, I just go to bed with a giant bar of chocolate and the portable dvd player or a book, tell everyone to leave me alone on pain of death and sit it out until I calm down and/or fall asleep.
Otherwise I am likely to become loud and randomly violent (though not towards people - unless they try to restrain me). I once threw a large upholstered rocking chair across the room with such force it took the door off its hinges.
I must have had meltdowns as a child but I am quite unable to recall them. My son says that he cannot recall his, either.
Thanks for your advice--it's right up my alley! And yes, if not given the right amount of space, I can get violent. I too have thrown objects and broken things. I know when I was a kid my meltdowns were more of the screaming and crying type (although I did cry tonight).
Do you know exactly what you're angry about, or are you just plain angry in general?
Two things that happen to me often are the following: 1) getting angry about some incident in the past, usually school or workplace bullying incidents, some of them over 20 years ago. That usually just makes me wring my hands and pace, and I'm over it in about 15 minutes when I can get my mind on something else. 2) social fatigue - physical exhaustion just from being around people. I can last about an hour and a half in a restaurant with friends, then I just get tired and can't wait to get home and rest. Not sure if these meet the definition of "meltdown", but it happens often.
I hope things get better and less frustrating for you.
Thanks. Yes, one thing changed (my work schedule; I own a dog walking business, and one of my employees suddenly couldn't work). But that one change led to other stuff that made me flip out. I guess I would have handled the other stuff--like not finding my dog's leash, etc.--okay if that one thing hadn't changed. I deal so poorly with change at times.
Meltdowns still happen, even when you are an adult. People who act like they understand autism thinks it ends at age 18- maybe so they can make us feel guilty about things we can't change.
The only thing about meltdowns that changes when you are adult is how you channel it to the outside world. You can choose to take steps ahead of time to ensure you don't hurt anyone (including yourself), or you can let it blow like a volcano. Sometimes you're just overdue for a big one. When it's over, you usually feel better. As far as the consequences of it? Well, that depends on the maturity and understanding of your friends, employer, etc.
Don't worry about what you can't change. Just concentrate on what can make you happy.
Meltdowns still happen, even when you are an adult. People who act like they understand autism thinks it ends at age 18- maybe so they can make us feel guilty about things we can't change.
The only thing about meltdowns that changes when you are adult is how you channel it to the outside world. You can choose to take steps ahead of time to ensure you don't hurt anyone (including yourself), or you can let it blow like a volcano. Sometimes you're just overdue for a big one. When it's over, you usually feel better. As far as the consequences of it? Well, that depends on the maturity and understanding of your friends, employer, etc.
Don't worry about what you can't change. Just concentrate on what can make you happy.
Thanks. I am feeling better today, actually. You're right--sometimes you are just due for a meltdown.
If my meltdowns are triggered by frustration or anger, I suddenly flip out with no warning, it often takes me by surprise. I get extremely violent towards posessions/property and myself. I punch and bite myself, headbang and have smashed the house up endless times.
If my meltdowns are triggered by depression and/or intense sadness, I pace around the house flapping my hands talking to myself. I find it almost impossible to self soothe. Sometimes I sit and rock in a boiling hot bath and cry and cry, then I descend into numbness and comfort eat, drink and smoke. I often withdraw from most people and can barely function when I feel like this.
When I feel alright again I am horrendously embarrassed by the above behaviour if it has been witnessed by anyone.
If my meltdowns are triggered by frustration or anger, I suddenly flip out with no warning, it often takes me by surprise. I get extremely violent towards posessions/property and myself. I punch and bite myself, headbang and have smashed the house up endless times.
If my meltdowns are triggered by depression and/or intense sadness, I pace around the house flapping my hands talking to myself. I find it almost impossible to self soothe. Sometimes I sit and rock in a boiling hot bath and cry and cry, then I descend into numbness and comfort eat, drink and smoke. I often withdraw from most people and can barely function when I feel like this.
When I feel alright again I am horrendously embarrassed by the above behaviour if it has been witnessed by anyone.
Yeah, I usually feel really immature after I have a meltdown. I'm not so embarrassed when my husband sees them, but I am really bothered if others do.
Yeah, I usually feel really immature after I have a meltdown. I'm not so embarrassed when my husband sees them, but I am really bothered if others do.
Yes, I've embarrassed myself so many times I don't really get embarrassed anymore if that makes any sense, (depending on who has seen me make an idiot of myself.) I'm often completely overwhelmed by my emotions resulting in extreme reactions which shocks people.
Yeah, I usually feel really immature after I have a meltdown. I'm not so embarrassed when my husband sees them, but I am really bothered if others do.
Yes, I've embarrassed myself so many times I don't really get embarrassed anymore if that makes any sense, (depending on who has seen me make an idiot of myself.) I'm often completely overwhelmed by my emotions resulting in extreme reactions which shocks people.
I know. Last year I freaked out over the phone and got very loud and emotional with my husband. Later, a friend who was with him admitted to hearing the whole outburst and encouraged me to go easier on him. I was so embarrassed, but I think my friend was even more so. They were suprised at how "irrational" I could be.
I’ve had a few meltdowns. A couple months back I was signed off work by the doctor because of 'stress related illness'.
I find that…something will happen…then something else--and things will slowly build up. I’ll get more and more stressed and anxious until finally I’m overwhelmed. I’ll put my hand on my brow and pace up and down talking to myself. I’ll comfort eat and avoid contact with anyone. Feel like I want to hide away or better yet disappear completely.
I use to get incredibly frustrated in my teens and punch doors or walls (never people luckily lol
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At university I had very little money, lived in a dangerous neighbourhood with no phone. I had the pressures of coursework and looking after myself. I had no friends a lived like a hermit. The house I lived in was infested with mice. I even managed to poison myself by mistake (don’t ask). This is when I had my biggest meltdown…which was more like a nervous breakdown.
But thankfully…I seem to be more on an even keel these days…and don’t have quite so many meltdown as I use too.(< ‘famous last words‘ lol
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I scream, cry, throw things and lock myself away from people. I sometimes take laxatives; its like I have to hurt myself in any way I possibly can.
Before I realised why I behaved this way, I would become the most irrational person ever. It was like my brain shut down on me and nothing, nothing, NOTHING penetrates. I've been told I'm quite frightening when I meltdown, I've been known to be violent (slamming doors, throwing things, I've shoved my partner around, especially if she's does something that sets me off).
Avoid alcohol and/or drugs when you're like that. I once REALLY lashed out at my partner when I'd been angry at her and I'd drank 2 bottles of wine in about 3 hours on an empty stomach; I'm lucky that she didn't call the police on me. I was thoroughly ashamed of myself the next day; she had pissed me off but she didn't deserve to have been on the recieving end of it. Don't let people shout at you - my partner has shouted right in my face when I've let go on her and whilst it does stop the violent/externalised side of the meltdown, I can't bear shouting and it just turns me into a shaking wreck.
I try to tell myself that at the heart of it all, this is only my logic getting knocked out of sync. Now I'm trying to implement things where I won't meltdown - by relying on sheer logic and planning - but I do agree with what someone else said, just because you're an adult doesn't mean you don't still have Aspergers and its negative sides.
I just wanted to add, the things between my partner and I were before we knew about and started working around my AS.