How many Bush supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, we should stick with the current bulb.
No matter how dim he may be! :razz:
Can anybody tell me if it is really immature to laugh at fart jokes?
Can anybody tell me if it is really immature to laugh at fart jokes?
Who cares? Farts are funny. And it's far worse to be 100% mature.
Recently, the UN organised a worldwide survey in which they tried to gather answers to the following question:
"Please state your opinion as to the solution regarding hunger in the rest of the world."
It failed, because...
The South Americans didn't understand the meaning of "Please"
The Chinese didn't understand the meaning of "Opinion"
The Israelis and Arabs didn't understand the meaning of "Solution"
The Germans and French didn't understand the meaning of "Hunger"
...And
The Americans didn't understand the meaning of "Rest of the world."
LOL. I do think fart jokes are funny but have got lectures from friends and relatives saying it is inappropriate for a female my age to laugh at farts.
Carl Barron has some funny fart jokes; so does Billy Connolly.
Not if they're funny.
The pinnacle of speed = drawing back a wet fart just before it stains your pants.
Ouch! That would have to hurt!
LOL!
This one might get a couple of laughs.
These two men were drowning their sorrows at a late night bar.
Stan: My girlfriend broke my heart in 57 places.
Dan: That's no good, mate.
Stan: Yeah, Monte Carlo, Reno, Vegas, Houston, St Paul etc. etc.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call an Irishwoman with one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg?
Irene.
One of my friends said he knew Billy Connolly must have been rude when he first saw him on the telly because he thought his beard looked a bit like pubic hair (this would have been sometime in the 70's - around the time he did D.I.V.O.R.C.E.)
Two jokes.
Joke #1
MAN: God, is it true that to you a million years is but a second?
GOD: Yes, my child.
MAN: So, is it true that to you a million dollars is but a penny?
GOD: Yes, my child.
MAN: Can I have a penny?
GOD: Sure. Just a second.
Joke #2
A Buddhist monk goes up to a hot dog stand, and says "Make me one with everything."
Joke#2.5
He hands the hot dog vendor a ten dollar bill, and asks for his change. The hot dog vendor says, "Change comes from within"
Lol!
Slightly subtle fart joke:
Sam: Why are you looking around for something on the ground?
Dan: Well, you said you just dropped one and I'm looking for it.
How many ADHD ppl does it take to change a lightbulb?
"LETS GO RIDE BIKES"
( i love that answer for that particular joke :p)
ok:
a white, balck, and chinese guy are racing camels acrossed the dessert, win their camel has to make it all the way without pooping. So the white and black guy make it half way or whatever and their camel poops. But the chinese guy make it ALL the way without the camel pooping, and the reporter asked "how on earth did you do it?!" and he replied,
"me chinese, me not dumb, me stick cork up camel's bum, camel go PFFTT! i go WEE!!! thats how i get back you see"
That's is bad, bad, bad (but in a sick way, kind of funny).
The following isn't a joke but I found it a bit amusing.
The next door neighbours were having an argument this morning.
Guy: "Where's the f'ing toilet paper?"
Sheila" "It's in the f'ing cupboard"
Pause...
Guy: "You bought the wrong f'ing brand. How can I have a s--- when you buy the wrong stuff".
Sheila: "I don't f'ing care. It was on special at the f'ing shop. If you don't like it you know what you can f'ing do with it".
A bear goes into a bar in Boise, Idaho and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Boise". The bear says, "oh, come on, I'll pay." The bartender stands firm, saying, "I'm sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Boise". This goes on for a while. Finally, the bear says, "Look, if you don't give me a beer, I'm just gonna have to eat that woman over there in the corner". The bartender says "Okay, because we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Boise". The bear eats the woman in the corner, and comes back, and says "Now can I have a beer?".
The bartender says, "Get out of my bar, you drug addict!" The bear says, "What do you mean?"
The bartender replies,
"The was a bar-bitch-you-ate"
well in real life coach Lloyed Carr retired from the U-M football team and were trying to get this new coach name Less Miles so theres a saying thats going around :
"we need to trade in our old Carr for someone with Less Miles"
LMFAO!!!
Why did the autie cross the road?
Because he was obsessed with chickens.
Why did the aspie cross the road?
Because he was making a detailed scientific study of compulsive behaviour in poultry.
Whats the definition of torture?
A one armed aspie hanging off a cliff, with the urge to stim.
What do you call a politician with no eyes, no ears, no legs and no arms?
Anything you feel like, he can't do anything about it.
(theres no malice in the aspie jokes if anyone wonders for a minute, although there is plenty for the politician
)
What is the opposite of a hindu?
A hindon't.
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