Aspies For Freedom

This morning I called in at my local greengrocer's on the way to work. I bought two Little Gem lettuces, some tarragon and some rocket leaves. The man behind the counter noticed that I had a shopping-list in my hand (as always) and said, "You like following recipe books, don't you? So who are you cooking for?" "Me," I said (who else?) Then the g'grocer said, "You don't ever cook for anyone else?" and before I could think of what to say in response he remarked, "No, I've never seen you come here with someone."

So now my private life is under scrutiny by the greengrocer's. I might just as well wear a t-shirt saying "30 and never had a boyfriend" and be done with it...

I hate being so bloody innocent!

If it is his own business and you go in there regularly, it sounds like inane small talk that appeals to some customers.
Along with "look at the weather", and "going anywhere on holiday", I wouldn't worry that he is scrutinising your private life.

Agreed - it sounds like hes just trying to be friendly.

Do I infer from the greengrocer's observation that couples are expected to do their grocery shopping together? Why? Have they nothing better to do?

What's your secret?

Do both its refer to the same thing? :?

The weirdest thing about the greengrocer's interest in my private live is the contrast with my own family's lack of interest in it. None of my relatives ever ask me if there's anyone in my life (although they often ask about my brother's girlfriend).

My parents' cleaning-lady recently overcame a fear of flying to attend her son's wedding in South Africa. As befits the mother of the groom, she splashed out on an expensive new outfit. When my mother told me about this, I remarked that I would probably do the same (new outfit I mean - I'm not afraid of flying) if/when my brother names the day. (He and his girlfriend bought their first property together last year, which would be enough for any bookie to slash the odds on their announcing their engagement.) There is no "official" rôle for the sister of the groom AFAIK, but if I'm going to be in the front row of the photos I might as well dress the part. Anyway, when I said this to my mum she replied that maybe my own wedding might precede my brother's. I was too astounded to reply. The idea that I might go from zero relationship experience to lifelong commitment before my much more worldly brother names the day is just preposterous - I mean not even Michael Schumacher could accelerate that fast...

Maybe should be relieved that my mum takes no interest in my love life (or lack thereof) - one fewer aspect of my life for her to influence. Possibly. But the stickler for accuracy in me longs for the truth to be known. At least it would scotch the popular assumption that blondes have an automatic advantage in the dating stakes.

I think maybe the greengrocer was trying to be friendly, or maybe BV's right and you've got an admirer  :smile:

Also, about the t-shirt, if you ever made one, I'd buy it  :lol:  even though I'm 16 and have had 3 bfs (none of them particularly invigorating I must say).

Why would you buy the t-shirt? Are you trying to claim some common experience with me that you don't actually have?

When I was under 16 - gosh, that is going back some time :roll: my mother informed me in all seriousness that no-one has a boyfriend before the age of 16, the UK's high teenage pregnancy rate notwithstanding. I repeated this to a schoolmate who said: "God, it's a wonder you were born."

No I didn't mean that. I just .... Nevermind, I'm sorry I said it, I didn't mean to offend  :oops:

I must say I don't quite understand what your mother said, maybe you could explain?

She was saying that girls under 16 are too young to have boyfriends. Presumably those that do are the exceptions that prove the rule, or they come from different social circles to me so don't count.

Gosh, this thread runs and runs. Here's an update (not involving purveyors of fresh produce this time)...

At the beginning of this month I went on a residential weekend course in Renaissance music. I was the youngest person there by a long chalk. At the Friday evening meal the lady sitting opposite me (a headmistress from Surrey) asked me, in the course of general chit-chat, if I had a partner. Note, no beating around the bush: not "Do you live with anyone?", or "Are you looking forward to Valentine's Day?" or anything like that, but: "Do you have a partner?", pure and simple.

I exclaimed, "That's amazing! No-one ever asks me that, not even members of my family."

There was an awkward pause in the conversation, as if no-one knew what to say next, at which point another middle-aged lady chipped in with: "Oh, it's like that Bridget Jones film, where all her relatives are always asking her if she's found a boyfriend yet", tittering nervously.

I retorted: "No, it's not like that at all. My relatives apparently take no interest in my private life whatsoever. I don't know why; maybe they've written me off as too unattractive..."

Just out of interest, would you prefer it then if we weren't friendly? I think many people are genuinly trying to be friendly rather then trying to take the piss.
Sorry if this post sounds a bit annoyed, im not annoyed just very tired. I didn't sleep to well last night.
*note to self, I must go to bed earlier*
Yours in randomness!
RG

I don't have that luxury. I have bills to pay, a full-time job to do, a life to lead. All alone.

Well, don't count me as a member of that. I for one am glad not to have a hard hymen, otherwise I'd never have been able to use tampons.