Aspies For Freedom

I once thought about having a T-shirt specifically crafted for when I interact with NT:s in my everyday life. It would be all black and just say "STOP STARING AT ME, GOD DAMN YOU!" in big white block letters.

Of course, knowing most NT:s, I fear it would only be a short while before one of them, after reading the message a few times, would look at me with a blank look on his/her face and say "Say, what's that supposed to mean?"

Regarding the green grocer from the beginning of the thread, I have similar problems when I go shopping for groceries at my local market. One of the check-out ladies is always commenting on what I'm buying. I once bought some ice-cream and a chocolate bar and she looks right at me, smiles and says "Looks like you found something good there, huh?!"

I don't know what to say. I just stare at her and the stuff I'm buying, trying to make a connection and to figure out if she's mocking me. I'm stumped.

"Uh, yes?", I say finally.

"Oh, good, good!", she says "and it's so CHEAP, too!" Weird.

I've also heard her comment on things other customers are buying, like salad or batteries or lottery tickets. The funny thing is they don't seem to mind, which indicates this might be some type of generally recurring social NT-conversation or something similar. That said, I wonder what would happen if some poor woman was buying tampons? Would she giddily stare straight at her (while smiling) and say something tasteless like "Ooh, I guess the blood must really be POURING out of ya this week, huh hon?" I don't get it.

The things NT:s talk about really confuse me. Especially those which seem to be meant to put other NT:s at their ease. Someone commenting on my purchases while I'm buying groceries doesn't put me at ease. Rather the opposite.

Figuring out all the rules to interacting in society is INSANE.  When I was little I always heard adults whispering behind my back about what a rude little child I was, and all my friends would get in trouble for answering their parents exactly the same way I typically talked.  The ONLY good thing I had going for me is that I was an unusually verbal small child, so sometimes my vocabulary made it easier for an adult not to realize they were talking to a child.  Still, I did eventually realize that there were rules that everyone else knew and I didn't.  I made it a special point to watch EVERYONE around me and mimick the rules they followed.  I kept that up as much as I could growing up, but it did NOT help my severe anxiety dissorder.  I was often terribly anti-social because I was sickeningly afraid of making one little mistake in protocol, and then everyone would know that I didn't really understand what I was doing at all.  As I've gotten older though, I've realized that sometimes I say the COMPLETE wrong thing when someone asks "how are you", but since no one is paying any attention, it often doesn't matter.  I've also noticed that it's not always ABOUT rules, for some reason "socialability" seems to come naturally to some people.  It's like it's ingrained in them or something...  Not me, and right now I work with a VERY abraisilve older black woman who lets me know exactly how badly I screw up all the time!  What I can't figure out is how my forgetting to tell her "good morning" is any MORE rude then her comming up and telling me how rude I was not to remember.  Perhaps it's the non-confrontationalist in me, but I would never DREAM of going up to someone and telling them that they were rude...  to me that seems far more rude, but...  maybe that's just something ELSE I don't understand yet.  They should publish a rule book or something!

I cope with society by not doing so. Sadly to say knowing that I have aspergers has made me give up trying to be social. Nowadys I'm just a full-blown a**hole.

My parents don't ask and I don't tell.  That has been the way for about the last 22 years, and it works fine.  And I really don't believe it's just out of tact.  My whole family is a bit odd in that we give each other a LOT of space & privacy.  My parents don't know anything too personal about me and I wouldn't want them to know.

By the way, I'm 40 & have never had a boyfriend.  Just recently I came to realize that I really don't want one either! :grin:

Maybe I should make up a T-shirt for that!

"40 and chaste"
"Impenetrable"
"Flesh is weak - I'm not"
"Hymen of steel"
"Sexually challenged"

Or what? :grin:  :grin:  :grin:

"Impenetrable"---hee hee, very ambiguous.

Also a great ice-breaker: "Uh, WHAT does that say?" :?

I could become a goodwill ambassador for the celibate-positive movement!  Alone but not lonely & so on. :grin: