If you don't want to be touched physically, you can put on a detached body language. I know body language is hard but you can pick it up if you analyze NT's behaviors. I often find myself looking down at my legs when sitting in the train to see what they are posturing and which way my feet are pointing and how they are positioned to make sure i'm not giving off any unintended signals. Its hard to figure out what it all means, I know having your toes pointing inwards indicates isolation and meekness.
If I am having a meltdown, I get my fiance to hug me. That would normally be dangerous, but I cant bring myself even during moments of uncontrollability to harm her. My meltdowns usually come in the form of escaping situations (usually social ones) as quickly as possible, no matter how rash or socially unacceptable. She kind of pulls me back into myself. I am standing there, being hugged... uncontrollable but completely unable to do anything. So I just stand still with her until my hot blood cools off. I cant pull her off or harm her lol, and if she takes me into a corner or out of the way and says a few sweet words... I follow along happily and a lot stronger back into the situation. I still need a lot of work controlling myself in social situations, and learning to be comfortable... but I am trying, and luckily for me... I have an Off Switch.
Logicalconclusion
Moo,
I think you might want to consider having your parents say something to the leader of that trip or chaperone that will be responsible for your group of kids. They are soooo lucky that you can feel meltdown coming on and you do know what helps you. I think it is real important that you be assured you will be given/have permission to move to quieter place and do the things you need to calm down. As to your friends.. if they are truly your friends.. then just telling them should do it.
Mom
They make these cards and sell them online somewhere too! I forget the link though.
i made some cards a while back, i'll see if i can find the original jpegs...
basically, they where flourencent orange, with a red cross on the front, and they said;
"Important Medical Information Enclosed"
they then went on to say,
"this person has Autism. if you are reading this, they are probably in the middle of what is known as a "meltdown".if this is the case, what steps should you take?
a) if there are authorities present, inform them of the situation.
b) if at all possible, allow the person some room.
c) under no circumstances, should you attempt to forcibly move the person, or touch them without invitation. some autistics may become uncontrollably violent if they are touched.
d) if possible, the person should be allowed solitude, darkness and quiet until the episode is concluded
for more information, visit aspiesforfreedom.com"
not a lot of use, but enough to allow the relevent people the knowledge ie; the police in a public location. they were the size of a credit card, and folded out three times. there was some other stuff on them, but it was about...8 months ago now, so...who knows where they are? not I...
My son flips from either wanting me to hold him and rock him to resisting me if I try to hold him, any way of knowing in advance which way to go
My son is nonverbal so he can't really tell me what to do .
By me the tragedy is that I have one melt down after another, It's basically just more stress to have others cope with stress that does not exist, then for me to cope with other peoples stress that does exist. or if people didn't understand that, they really do need an interpreter to talk to me.
I know the NAS sell them but they're pretty awful. They just say "i have asperger's/autism, please be considerate of my needs" or something along those lines. Which will be useless in a meltdown situation or any other situation where you wanted to explain yourself quickly. I've been thinking about making cards, or more of a leaflet to explain important issues i have to do with asperger's for teachers because i find it very hard to sum it all up when i try and explain it to them.
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Your right. I found a few sites but they were just what autism is and about behaviors - nothing about meltdowns
Great to hear that things are getting worked out.
the situation has started the process of being worked out. The teacher phoned my house phone on friday when i didn't go in and spoke to my mother who used her nt skills to make her more understanding. She now knows that i can't be treated the same as everyone else and my parents have arranged to go in and speak with her after the holidays (i'm currently on 1/2 term) so she understands everything especially regarding the art trip in easter.
When I have a meltdown I MUST be left alone cause I tend to get really violent and abusive, and I have an extremely hard time controlling myself. If I can catch it before it gets bad I just need to be alone and not touched, but if I haven't been able to catch it, or if it is just too much, I get really bad really fast. I would see if there is going to be at least one person who is going on the trip who will be able to help you if you do have a meltdown.
I would write a note to the art directors too, irregardless of their bad attitudes. If they do something bad then it's their fault, since you reminded them and they can't blame you.
I would put in the note something like this [this is for me]:
"Sometimes I get upset and I am unable to control what is happening.
I don't do this on purpose, it's just what happens sometimes.
Sometimes I am able to see if I am going to be upset and I can try and stop it by going somewhere and being alone and not being touched or talked too.
However, I'm not able to stop it all the time, because of various reasons.
If this happens, I can be very abusive and even violent. Please remember that I am not doing this on purpose. I please do not touch me, or try to have conversations with me. I MUST be left alone so that I can calm down BY MYSELF. I don't want to be talked to very much, but it would be helpful if you said something like 'I think you need to take a brake. Come back when you've calmed down.' Something equivalent to that is perfectly fine. It is best to keep talking to a minimum. At this time DON'T give me any sort of instructions, other than that. I am not able to pay proper attention or react in a good way. I may say things that are very cruel or swear at you. I am not trying to hurt you or others, I am only trying to say "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" - except this is the only way I know how to get this message across.
If I tell you that the situation I am in is stressful, this is a small warning sign that I may need to calm down. I understand that it may be scary if I do something like this, but please remember that if we both do our best we shouldn't have any problems."
I would see if there is going to be at least one person who is going on the trip who will be able to help you if you do have a meltdown.
I would write a note to the art directors too, irregardless of their bad attitudes. If they do something bad then it's their fault, since you reminded them and they can't blame you.
I would put in the note something like this [this is for me]:
"Sometimes I get upset and I am unable to control what is happening.
I don't do this on purpose, it's just what happens sometimes.
Sometimes I am able to see if I am going to be upset and I can try and stop it by going somewhere and being alone and not being touched or talked too.
However, I'm not able to stop it all the time, because of various reasons.
If this happens, I can be very abusive and even violent. Please remember that I am not doing this on purpose. I please do not touch me, or try to have conversations with me. I MUST be left alone so that I can calm down BY MYSELF. I don't want to be talked to very much, but it would be helpful if you said something like 'I think you need to take a brake. Come back when you've calmed down.' Something equivalent to that is perfectly fine. It is best to keep talking to a minimum. At this time DON'T give me any sort of instructions, other than that. I am not able to pay proper attention or react in a good way. I may say things that are very cruel or swear at you. I am not trying to hurt you or others, I am only trying to say "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" - except this is the only way I know how to get this message across.
If I tell you that the situation I am in is stressful, this is a small warning sign that I may need to calm down. I understand that it may be scary if I do something like this, but please remember that if we both do our best we shouldn't have any problems."
Thanks, I want to make cards for myself to explain things quickly when i have a meltdown and what you have written will help me because i can use it as a guide for writting my own one. I have so far written cards to explain Asperger's for my teachers and i've started the meltdown ones (i found having both bits of information on a card would make them too big) although i haven't given them to any teachers yet because it will cause change and i'm still analysing how and if it will be positive or negative.
I'm very proud of myself at the moment because 2 weeks ago i managed to successfully remove myself from a situation before a meltdown and found a place at school to have it in private. The cause was from a talk we were having at school about travelling on a gap year. This irritated me because there would be no way i could go backpacking around the world going to places i've never been before while having to deal with high levels of uncomfortableness. It was complusory for me to be there which i really didn't want to do because it was just to tell me about all the things i'm missing out on in my life from being the way i am. I had also been worn down the night before from having parents evening which involved me going for nearly 2 hours in the evening to school and having to do lots of difficult talking that i could not fully prepare myself for. Also the appointment times were completely screwed up because one of my teachers early on couldn't see me at the set time which made all the other timings not work. So overall lots of stress. But i managed to ask a teacher that was sitting near me if i could go to the nurse because i wasn't feeling well. I then went to my locker room, had the meltdown and then sat on my bag listening to my ipod until it was lunch time.
I'm going on a school trip tomorrow, its for 2 days so it'll be good practise for the art trip. I will be the only person in my year at school going on the trip and none of my friends are coming aswell so i won't be very familiar with the people on the trip. This is a slight concern for me but i am friendy with people going on the trip so it won't be too bad. I'm really looking forward to it, i enjoy doing new things (as long as its planned out and has some sort of stability) but i'm worried how long i'll be able to act normal for. It's impossible for me to act completely normal (and would be extremely boring) but by acting normal i mean to be weird in a way thats normal enough for nts.
I'm going to finish the "melt down cards" for tomorrow so i can have them on me just incase i have a meltdown then i can show them the card. I don't want to explain Asperger's fully to the 2 coaches that will be there because they are very nice to me and i don't want their opinion to change of me or for them to then worry about how to behave around me. I'm quite fed up of my role of being the 'weird kid' at the moment and so do not want to do anything that would alienate me from other people.
Mine are more "shutdowns" and I had one today when the shopping delivery arrived, at the same time as the new bed for son, along with friends with two teenagers, and then hubby wanted me to send an email and agree what needed throwing away or donating to charity. I had to lock myself in the bathroom. Difficult to explain when you're an adult with a houseful of guests...
Recently got back from the school trip which was the reason I made this thread. The trip was a lot of fun, I won a prize from the teachers on the last night for doing the best art work on the trip which I was very happy about beacuse I won fudge
.
I had one meltdown which could have been avoided, but it was in private so it was okay. All week I had been feeling fine, even enjoying myself in the large amount of social interaction.
But on Thursday I was very tired so I took some caffeine pills which made me feel very low and anxious. So I spent most of the day alone because I couldn't deal with the whole stress of saying/ doing the right thing and worrying about it. We went to this camp site which was pretty much in the middle of nowhere and I walked off and did some drawing and went to a beach for a few hours while everyone was hanging together having 'so much fun'. I got lost for about 1/2 an hour trying to find my way back. However the teachers never realised I was missing. When I returned everyone was just about to leave, the teachers didn't even take a registrar so they would have left without me and no one had noticed I had been gone for the last few hours. I was slightly miffed about that and felt I should have stayed longer at the beach just to make a point.
The trip was very fun though, I got to do the whole social aspect such as going to parties and being 'cool' which was interesting to experience and has stopped me feeling like i'm missing out on anything. Also i've got non stop work for the next 2 months because of exams so it's nice to have something to look back on.
I also made up with a friend I had fallen out with which was nice who was on the trip. We had fallen out because my aspieness irritates him which is ironic because he is an aspie himself although he hasn't realised yet.