Aspies For Freedom

Liane Willey made the card suggestion in her "pretending to be normal" book.

I think if I ever had cards made, they'd say something like:
Please, leave me alone.  I will be okay.  I just need time to process this.  Thanks.

I hate the making a fuss afterwards the worse.
Mind you I actually scare people or make them feel bad. So their efforts to normalise or make things right are well meaning.
For me though I feel like grabbing them by the scruff, giving them a shake and yelling "*** off! I am just managing to get on top of things. I don't need you to fall over yourself in apologising. I don't want you to treat me like a leper. I don't want you hiding from me. I don't want to have to expend the little resources I have trying to make you OK."

Give me space and don't fuss. I am OK. I will get on top of and over myself. I am on the spectrum. It happens. I am not trying to inflict myself on anyone.

I'd say "please don't try to reason with me - it will only make me more agitated" and it's okay if you take me somewhere quiet and offer me a cool drink (as I usually overheat when having a meltdown) or a tea or coffee.

i ussally just need to be alone and sit
i mostly have these problems at camp
but counselors ussally are good bout keeping people away from me...

but i have lost friends because they also tried to keep me having AS hidden so noone knew i had it exept certain counslors

when i went again it was better cause all the counselors knew and i had a personal one to follow me around it was cool cause they were nice

i was a blue lake BTW

I totally freak out when people start touching me.

I know NTs are quite tactile (and when I'm in regular every day mode, I can be too) and they often use a hand on an arm, or put their hand on your shoulder or something in a difficult situation.

You can get trapped into a vicious circle, because the more you start freaking out and saying look, just leave me alone *AND DON'T TOUCH ME!*, the more NTs try to get more involved and try to touch you more, to try to calm you down.

If you have a similar issue when melting down, I'd say forewarn them: *Don't* try to grab you by the arm to lead you somewhere quiet.  Get them to stand in the way of other people trying to approach you and touch you.  Give you some space and make sure others give you space.

I went ice skating with some friends today, fell over and smacked my head really badly on the ice.  Two friends led me off the ice, holding my arms to keep me steady, and I really appreciated that.  But then some random stranger, one of the ice rink assistants, came towards me to ask if I was okay and she put her hand on my arm.  My hackles really started rising and I had to tell her not to touch me.  It really, really grates when people are really presumptious and make some form of physical contact like that.

She was acting all concerned, but probably thought I responded really rudely to her compassion and consideration.  Oh well.

Luckily, I was just injured.  If I was in the middle of a meltdown, I could have responded much more badly.  I have been known to lash out in the past at people who have touched me.

when i melt down i run away from everything.... i dont care where i go i just go and when people try to calm me down i literally injure them... i have pushed someone of a balccony! and i even have a shirt that says "if im mad leave me alone" it doesnt work much heh.

Hmm, I must be strange with meltdowns then. I don't like people leaving me because then I feel abandoned and that nobody cares. It doesn't bother me if they touch me but if they say "you're being unreasonable" or "crying won't get you anywhere" or similar comments, that makes me more irate and fearful and escalates the meltdown.

Yeah i understand the feeling... like some of my best friends are exeptional. like my friend alex.... but thats also differant (as soon as he found out i was tg he actually treats me like a girl) with most of my friends i will curl up into a ball and they ussally pick me up an let me sit curled up on their laps. thats makes me feel secure, loved, and stuff. (maybe thats why i love sleeping with all 104 of my stuffed animals i my hammock hmmmm...)

Maybe I am strange....no I don't think that is maybe. LOL

Did you ask the art director, if he would ask someone wheelchair bound to try to walk? You have a disability, just because it's not visible it isn't there. Some people are so immature. I mean what does this art director get off on having someone to torture?

Whats an "S.O."

i keep weighted ancle braclets with me and i feel stressed i put them on my wrists or ankles. that ussally helps but you get sweaty after a while. lol :p

Could you show her your diagnostic notes and if she still doesn't believe, she could ring the doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist. I bet they would say "you stick to your art teaching and let us stick to our profession too".

We had an assessment in art class once where we all had to "mark" each other's work. It was a complete failure because some of us (me included) hesitated to give anyone less than a "B" because we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and we went by the idea that all the works had some kind of artistic merit.

Others were jealous of the really talented people and marked them low for really stupid reasons.

I don't think this idea of peer review/360 degree feedback would work unless you had a class of mature and sensible acting people.

I remember my son's meltdowns (when he was a child) when he couldn't get what he wanted - they were frightening. We were frightened to say no - because we feared for him. He couldn't handle hearing "no".

Yup. I'm not exactly dissimilar in that regard (but not hubby).

I'd reckon the best thing immediately following a meltdown is alone-time.

^ correction: "no hubby"