Aspies For Freedom

I have two really big complaints with the majority of autism activists,the first one being that few,if any,of these people will acknowledge those of us on the more severe end of the spectrum.For all of their talk about an "autism spectrum",I find they can be quite exclusionary.More often,than not they paint all too rosy a picture, and one that is quite misleading.It may be an oversimplification,to say this,but a lot of autism activists,and bloggers,want everybody to believe all autistics are just cute,quirky"aspies" and "auties" (Terms I have come to loathe.),whose every behavior is one to be celebrated.

Don't be down with it.

dove nested towers, it is OK to be on the spectrum, and by the way, see my catch phrase:

THIS IS SPECTRUUUUUUUUUUM!

(Note: I am attempting to raise spirit.)

In which case, I apologise for being a grumpy old piece of work.  It's great that there's people on the spectrum working on this - where do I sign?

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NT parents of Aspies will acknowledge that not every Aspie behavior at home or in public is one to celebrate. If you want to hear griping go to OASIS- any of the two major parent forums there. You will get an eyeful and it will eventually depress you no end. There are also separate sections for health/diet issues. My sense is these parents are usually at the beginning of the journey, not the end, though the posts about college and/or jobs (for their Aspie children) can also be quite moving.

My own Aspie with her problems could easily drive me to alcoholism or drugs (valium or xanax 24/7) or certainly a major depression (I came close this fall) if I   were to let things spiral out of control. Both me and my husband are often borderline regarding all of the above, depending upon the crisis du jour(or month or year). So yes raising an Aspie is certainly no picnic. For example, she does a particular type of verbal grilling that would reduce Mother Teresa or a whole troup of Marines to tears!   

Sometimes the pain is in how others respond to him/her, the resistance you meet nearly every day from the public, from the so-called help agencies, from her classmates, from everyone but the divine hierarchy really (or so it seems) !

You just won't get as much of the "life is grim, life is earnest, then you die a long, slow painful death" bit here which is something I feel I need emotionally. It did occur to me the other day that by immersing myself in autie culture/chatrooms I was exposing myself to both the best and worse case scenarios, none of which may happen to my Aspie teen. I am driven by the worse case scenarios, though, something my extended family probably doesn't understand. I help Hope, help plan her future, push her to volunteer/work in public so as to prepare her when she's older. My sense is intervention helps a great deal and because she wasn't properly dxed til age 12 or 13 we are playing catch up to a great extent. As a result of my above efforts, my family's efforts, I really believe she is much more social now than most Aspies her age. She actually likes people, just doesn't understand them very well yet...

But I am probably obsessed with her now- she is the first thing I think about in the morning, often, the very first thing as I plan my day. She is also my mission in life, my raison d'etre, though that may shock people. It is just not about me anymore. But she is key to my spiritual growth, that is sure, because if I succeed with her it will be, in my mind, a greater accomplishment than any CEO or hugely successful or monied businessman could ever accomplish.

The greater the struggle, the greater the ultimate joy. Regular parents of regular children will never experience my joy in raising Hope, the sweet joy of our many successes.
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"In fact, one of the biggest things that most autism activists advocate is greater emphasis on support services to help with issues like the ones you have mentions - support services for autistic people are hideously underfunded, as I'm sure you agree."
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I can second that. Or the services exist but are mediocre. I have to attend a meeting today with a county disability coach even though he/she now knows (after a year of nothing or very little from them) that I have a very low opinion (I used the word pathetic in an email) of his department's services. That will be pleasant! You guys should have seen the e-mail I sent the director.  

Yet, Hope's high school teachers this year have been superlative, really just wonderful and creative re accommodations, grading, you name it. I spent more on their Xmas presents then I did for my own extended family. And the support we get from other parents of Aspies is just wonderful.

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I hope we can reach a compromise on this - it sounds like you have much to offer.

I would say there's really three *main* camps of autism advocates, and two outlying camps, with some people not falling into any group.

Perhaps this other "camp" would fall into one of those you mentioned. I am not sure. However, there are also those, like myself, who favor, first and foremost, an acceptance of neurodiversity, but second, more of an advocacy of self-determination (or as much as possible) than being specifically anti-cure or pro-cure. I personally would never want to be "cured," though I would have felt differently as a child, but I also want to respect the rights of those who believe differently.

Hi Dove,
I would say there's really three *main* camps of autism advocates, and two outlying camps, with some people not falling into any group.��The three main camps are:
- The "curebies" as some call them- mostly made up of doctors and parents, especially parents, these people view autism as one big negative, which they seek to cure.��Many, though not all, of them endorse highly experimental treatments and theories of causation, including the idea that MMR causes autism, the theory that allergies cause autism, and sometimes the idea that if you pray, God will deliver your child from the "prison of autism".
- The "Aspie Advocates" as I call them, entirely made up of people with asperger's.��When they talk about autism, they actually mean asperger's.��If they even mention "lower-functioning" autistics, it's to say "We're not like them- they're hopeless and need a cure".��These people's concepts of neurodiversity extends only to people with asperger's, no one else.��Some of them are openly anti-NT, claiming that all NTs are out to get them and that aspies are the currently-oppressed superior race.
- The third, smallest, group is the true Neurodiversity advocate.��They come from all backgrounds- parents, doctors, themselves autistic or ADD or Bipolar, whatever.��They advocate for supports but against a cure, and struggle against the attitudes of both society and other advocates.��They try to bring people together, but so far haven't had much luck.��This seems to be the group you would fall into, yourself.��If you haven't been able to find much of this activism yourself, I suggest you try http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org, http://thiswayoflife.org/blog/, http://www.autism-hub.co.uk/, and http://www.gettingthetruthout.org/ .��With the last one, make sure you read it all the way through- it switches persepctives, to give a better understanding of how society views autism vs. reality.
Finally, the last two outlying groups are the extremists.��On the one side we have autism haters, like John Best Jr.��They literally hate autism and all autistics with a burning and fiery passion.��They're like the autism KKK.��On the other side we have the autism superiorists.��They believe that autistics (usually only aspies, though) are the next step in human evolution and that all NTs need to die out to make way for the new race.��Both groups are utterly wacko and you should do your best to just ignore them.��They're thankfully quite small and don't have a lot of influence.

Perhaps this other "camp" would fall into one of those you mentioned. I am not sure. However, there are also those, like myself, who favor, first and foremost, an acceptance of neurodiversity, but second, more of an advocacy of self-determination (or as much as possible) than being specifically anti-cure or pro-cure. I personally would never want to be "cured," though I would have felt differently as a child, but I also want to respect the rights of those who believe differently.

B"H

I encourage readers of this thread to participate in my poll.  At some point, maybe I'll tell the story of my own complex history, where I fit on the Spectrum, and how it is that I am not sure about how HFA/LFA fit me.  

Is there a combination of LFA and Neuro-typical that allows someone to make eye contact, shake hands, but then which allows other psychological forces to play out?  Are all Aspies the same?